RSVP

We get them in the mail all the time.Invitations to parties,weddings,graduations,anniversary parties,and so on. We are to fill out if we are coming or not,and sometimes just a phone call. Do you always answer them? I don't,sadly I forget, or misplace it. Every once in awhile I will send one back if we are attending. We have an RSVP from Christ,paid in full by His blood and sacrifice,signed, sealed,and delivered by love,His everlasting love.That one I have,it is written in the book of life,after I asked Christ to come into my heart,and live with me forever. That one is forever written on my heart. I can never lose it, never throw it away, and it can never be taken away from me. Someone cannot say,"Oh,we made a mistake on that date or time." Only God knows the date,and the time,He even knows the place. The awesome thing is we have the directions written on our hearts. Once we have it,we cannot ever lose it. That is one party I do not want to miss. Its a party I want all my family to attend, my friends,and my neighbors. The thing is everyone is invited, we just have to answer this one. This is one you don't want to miss out on, so tell everyone you know so it can be the biggest party ever. This party is for the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, and we get to celebrate with Him. There will never be a party more important then this one. Is your RSVP ready to go? Sign it, seal it and get it delivered as fast as you can.

My Ring

Saturday I got to spend the whole day with my husband. We love to go to little shops and look around.The resale shops,antique shops,and just the shops that have amazing finds. There is one of our favorites,its an Irish shop. The owner is just so sweet and warm,and has this amazing Irish accent that you could just stop and listen to her talk all day. I love going in and looking at all the finds that she brings back from Ireland. Me being Irish-German is quite a combination,and I didn't know until I was older and started studying where my families were from.Inside this little shop jam packed with kinds of trinkets,and beautiful sweaters I went over to the jewlery. I have always wanted a clauddah ring. I had always found something about them that just spoke to me. I found one I fell in love with. It is silver, and it has the hands(which mean friendship),the crown(which means loyality),and the heart(which means love),and the band(which means eternity),and mine rotate around the ring. To some they may not find it as beautiful as I,but to me the meaning of is wonderful and speaks to my heart. As I wear it I will always think of my husband,everytime I look down at it.It holds everything between us. Many wear them as wedding rings,friendship rings,and as gifts to those they love. The story behind the ring is what makes it special. In those few times that my husband and I get to walk down the streets holding hands,going in shops and sharing the little things in life is what makes it so special. Just being with him,holding his hand makes it a perfect day.It is a blessing that the Lord gives us. The little things in life. Those moments that you can treasure forever. Its that look that only you two can have,the laughter of a joke that only you both know the meaning. As we walked on this cool spring day,it was just a little peice of Heaven. If just that little peice meant so much,I cannot wait to see the joy Heaven will someday bring.

Finding myself

As I dressed this morning for church,I bet I changed clothes eight times. I would put one thing on and while I thought it looked okay my husband had other thoughts. Although I always take his style into consideration,I usually dress how I want to,and usually he always tells me how pretty I look,but as I was dressing this morning I found myself thinking I wish Ashley and Whit were here to help me. It is awesome when you have beautiful daughters that you can share clothes with. They would help me with my hair at home,and I would help them figure out what looked the best. I remember I had this pair of black shoes that I just loved,and Ash didn't have the same thought. She hated those shoes,and even made points to hide them. It is just one thing amazingly wonderful about having daughters to share those experiences with. Of course since it being Easter Sunday you want to dress really nice. I think that is what troubled me so this morning and really hit,that they were no longer down the hall to call in my room,and say,''Hey girls,does this look okay?' Things hit at different points and at different moments of time. As my children grew I found myself in them,I could even see my younger self in my daughters. As they are no longer at home, it has even been four years,and it is still difficult. You get used to your children by your side,with you during happy times and lifting me up at hard times. Always sticking together. I taught my children many things,and taught them well. They also taught me wonderful things, mostly to laugh,have fun,and to listen. To find the beauty of someone inside,not just by their apperance.The relationship between a mother and a daughter is something magical. You just have this amazing bond that you think will last forever,and nothing will ever seperate you. That is a misconception.when they are small things are just smooth and great.Atleast it was for me.I can really say they were wonderful people to be around,and spend your days with.As they get into those teen years,no one prepares you. As they are trying to find themselves,you too are trying to figure out who you really are. I think these were the hardest years for me.As your children grow you get lost in them, your involved in every aspect of their lives. Your there every step of the way giving everything you have,and then one day everything explodes and they aren't there.Your life turns upside down in a million different directions.For those four years I was in such a deep depression. Life could have ended and I wouldn't have cared. You lose a part of yourself also.I have heard everything there is to say. It will get better over time,give it to Jesus,let it go,live your life,just let them be and things will work out, just keep praying,all moms and daughters go through this,it will be okay,just keep trying, God is in control, He has a plan,find something interesting to do, now you can have time for you.I got so tired of hearing all this great advice. No one can understand fully until they too have been there,and gone through all that we have. Its easy to hand out advice when its not you. I never thought I would recover from not having my girls in my life,and I still havent. I miss them more than words can say.Each day is a struggle,but I make it.Through this time I am finding myself.I have grown closer to the Lord,and He gives me my stength. I have learned to trust God with all. I have opened my hands to Him,opening them and giving Him all of my life. I see Him working in me,and I know each day is a new day,and He still isn't finished. I love learning and growing with Him. I have amazing friendships,some are the sisters I never had. I have made new friendships that I am so excited about. I have been involved in many more things. I started writing. You learn about yourself so much when you go through these valleys. The mountain tops are wonderful,but its the deepest valleys in life that make us who we are,and change us into what Christ wants us to be. If it were not for the valleys,would we really call upon Jesus daily? If it were all mountain tops we would praise Him,but we would just be comfortable. We are not meant to be comfortable,we are meant to change leaving our old selves behind,and finding the new in Christ. I have been a christian for almost seventeen years,and the last four years of my life has brought me more closer to Him and really knowing Him,really having a relationship with Him that deepens through each day. Everyday is not perfect,and I mess up all the time,but I know He is there,loving me,guiding me,and somedays carrying me through. I would not be who I am without Him,and I would not be who I am without my beautiful daughters being brought into my life. I have learned the meaning of hope, and trust. The Lord has taught me things come in His time,not mine. He has showed me each day all I have to do is call upon His name,and He is there. So much of my life has been with my children that its hard to get used to them not being here,I'm not sure I ever will,but I know God is working and He isn't finished yet. So when I dress, or shop, go anywhere my daughters are always with me in my heart. That is where I carry them. I think it takes us a daily looking into the mirror and getting on our knees to know who we really are. At the end of the day its Christ who makes us who we are. He brings people in our lives to show us many wonderful,sometimes hurtful things to create in us Himself. So have I found myself? Sometimes, but I'm still growing,and still learning each day and learning something new about myself everyday.

My Funny

I have to tell my funny that happend Wednesday night at Awana. It was a great night,and to be with my Kindergarden class is just so much fun.It was game time,and little Rachel didnt want to play the game.I said,"It will be fun,just try." She still wasn't going to make a move,so I told her,okay I will take your spot and show you how fun it really is. Well,we were playing a beanbag game inwhich you had to run out and get the bag for your team and cross back over without getting tagged. My number was called so I ran out (in sandels I might add) and grabbed the beanbags. I was just about to cross the line without getting tagged when something went horribly wrong.My feet were not moving as fast the the top of my body.I started leaning forward,and my feet were getting tied. As this was happening in my vision in slow motion,I thought to myself this is going to hurt BAD. I started falling,and remembered my wrist,(I have had surgery on it twice,and its not well) and thought oh no,I cannot fall on my wrist,so I just fell everywhere.I think everything got hit. As the kids saw this happen,they ran over saying,Ms.Robin,Ms.Robin,and a friend came to my aid and started to lift me up,but all I could say is DO NOT TOUCH ME! I just layed there in pain,thinking how in the world did that happen? I got up,and finally hobbled inside,and my pain got worse by the moment. Little Rachel went downstairs with me to get bandaids,and she looked up at me,with eyes that said,See I told you that was not any fun. As my husband lifted me up in our truck to go home each bump hurt. Today I have been in bed all day recovering from my tumble. Although I am okay, just bruised and in pain,I think there should be no more game time.I think we should just color instead. It is so much safer, and there is no running, no mishaps,and I wont have to bear anymore bruises and recover after a fall.

My Nest

A wonderful friend gave me a gift.It was a gift that touched my heart.For she knew the pain that I carry,and wear so well.The gift was a book about empty nests,and my little nest is getting smaller by the day.Your never really prepared for what your heart will endure when your nest is almost empty.As one child leaves there is a room that is empty.Our five are now down to one.No one prepares you for the pain you will feel as you walk by the rooms that were filled with so much care.When my husband and I got married,we decided I would stay home and be a mom.I cared for all of our children,and homeschooled three.As your children are small you tuck them in at night,give them a kiss,and listen as they say their prayers.You watch them pick up frogs,claim land for Columbus,dance in the family room,and play together like the moment will never pass.You watch them at each holiday,not thinking really how fast the year has passed.You watch them with all their firsts,and watch them grow into people you are so proud of.You get to see them learn with each step,pick them up when they fall, and hold them ever so tightly,hearing them say,"I love you mommy." As my nest is smaller,I miss my children so very much.They are a part of you,they are who you are.For me,I was a Mom,a very proud mom.I loved being here each moment with my children.Loving them,and teaching them.Praying over them while they sleep.Saying goodnight to each one,and waking with a kiss,and a big hello are times that go by so quickly.I have to be honest and say this is a stuggle for me.It is so very hard to get used to,and move forward without always thinking back.Some days the tears just fall. I look at old videos,pictures,and scrapbooks,and look with wonder at our beautiful kids.When our kids were small they really were great,they were never in trouble,they had so much fun being together,the laughter filled our home. It gets really hard when people ask what do you do? I have always said I am a mom.That was who I was,and when your children start leaving you question who am I really now? You have spent so many years being a mom,that is what you know,its your life. I have always defined myself as a mom.So when our children started leaving home, I think I lost myself,not quite sure of who I was. What is my purpose now? As women we are nurturing,loving,and want to tend to things,and fix the things that are broken. I am finding myself all over again,learning new things,and growing closer to Christ with each day. My walk with Him has become more meaningful, and knowing He is with me gets me through each day.I have learned its okay to hurt,its okay to miss your children,but life hasn't ended. A new life is just beginning.I have to remind myself of that each day.When my girlfriends are all talking about their little ones,or talking about their family events,or how they cannot just leave and go out to lunch at the spur of the moment, those are the moments that you tend to feel out of place. But although I may be out of place sometimes,I am growing in other places. At times when I started to feel down,I would call a friend.Most of the time the Lord would send a friend just at the right time to lift me up when I was about to fall again. Being a mom is not easy.It is the hardest job in the world,but the best.Nothing can compare.But as those little feet started walking,they were learning to walk on their own,and with each step,they were walking away to be on their own. We are here to teach them,love them,and guide them so they can learn to take care of themselves in the world.It was never meant for them to be at home forever,its just you never realize when that moment comes how hard it is to say goodbye,and let go.Life is an adventure,full of many things for us to learn.God makes it possible,He leads us,and guides us as parents. I am so thankful for the Lord,my friends,and most of all my husband who is at my side always. At first I was so confused and didnt know what my next step was,but I believe the Lord has wonderful things in store for me, I have a hope that my relationship with my daughters will be healed, and our children will grow and come to know just how much they are loved.The Lord has His hand in everything,and has a plan for all of us. I am praying,sitting back,and excited to see what He is going to unfold before me and fill my nest with next.

Rivers of Blood by Colon H. Carter

Be it a trickle
Or be it a Flood
When all mixed together
There would be "Rivers of Blood"
Some required but First Aid,
While others required
A skilled surgeon's Blade.
We are all bonded together,
By the Sacrifieces we made.
Some were wounded
While looking the foe in the eye,
While others recieved fragments,
From a round which hit nearby.
No matter the source of our wounds,
Our blood ran red.
We the living are the fortunate ones,
Many others now lay dead.
No matter how major or minor
Your woundmay have been,
Our nation awarded each a metal
suspended from a pin.
the Purple Heart Medal
We so proudly wear,
Binds us all together
As the ones who were there.

An unknown poem

A mothers covers
When you were small
And just a touch away,
I covered you with blankets
Against the cool night air.
But now that you are tall
And out of reach
I fold my hands
And cover you with prayer.

Don't give one inch

It is amazing how we can wake one morning knowing God is with us,and feeling His touch,and in that next morning we can wake and see what satan can destroy in minutes while people are not watching. Am I the only one this seems to happen to? We can go along for a few days and feel so much joy and then wham!!!he hits,and he doesnt just poke you,he hits hard.Sometimes so hard you just want to give up all together.You find yourself thinking not again,not so soon.How can we stay away from the hurt and damage satan can throw on us like a beast?We stay close as possible to Christ no matter what comes are way. We can be blindsided by satan out of nowhere.He wants us to give up,he wants us to give in to all the pain and hurt,he wants to win over our lives.If we are not careful that is exactly what will happen.We have to be in Gods word,and be on our knees praying without ceasing.I refuse to give satan one more thing of my life.I refuse to give in to the hurt and pain.At those moments when the tears start to flow,you can feel your heartbeat just a little more,and you feel lost and ready to give in,we have to remember who we are.We are children of the King,we have hope,we have a future in Heaven,He is with us even more so when satan strikes.We just have to reach for Him,call upon His name,and believe He will provide every need we have.Without hope,we would have nothing.People can take away many things in our lives.They can steal away pieces of us,parts of our lives we dont want to give up,but we have to remember the Lord knows the end of the story,He has our R.S.V.P waiting and no one can take that away.They may be able to cut you down,hurt you with words,even take away part of your life,but no one can take away our salvation.No one can take away joy in our hearts,that is placed there by God,no one else can fill that God spot we have made just for Him.It seems the world we live in is so selfish and just concerned with ME,that people cannot see beyond their own faces the hurt they cause or the time they take away.Without Christ in my life I am sure,no I know for a fact,that I could not take another day in this world we call home for now.I have to remember this place here is not my home,I have a home waiting for me,I have a Father who fights for me,and loves me as His own.I have to remember all the blessings that He gives each and everyday.I have to count my blessings one by one each day to know,and remember He is with me.He is my strength when I can no longer walk,He is my hope that all will work for His glory.I put my faith in Him,and Him alone.Whenever we are stuck in the valleys of life and feel like we are drowning,we just have to reach out for His hand,and He will save us from this world that is full of pain and sorrow.He knows the end of the story,we arent able to see that yet.He knows the plans He has for us,He is there each and every step even when we think we are alone,He is there feeling our pain too.We have to remember we have not gone through anything He has not already been through.Don't let satan take another minute of your lives,dont give him another inch today.We can fight our battles with the hope of knowing He is our Savior,by reading Gods word,and trusting in Him, and looking for the good in all.Nothing goes through our lives without going through Gods hands first.He touches everything with the love of His hands,and its at that moment when we want to give up and realize we have nothing without Him that we can see the picture being painted before us.We have to remember He isnt finished with us yet.We are a work in progress and sometimes we have to go through the valleys of life to see the steps Christ has taken for us,and those steps lead straight to the cross.

We can learn from the wise

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you 'til it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer,never give up then,for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."

Harriet Beecher Stowe

Are you a Martha or a Mary?

I will begin my entry with a verse from Luke 10:41-42.It says this: "The Lord said to her,My dear Martha,you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about.Mary has discovered it,and it will not be taken away from her."Are you Mary,sitting at the feet of Jesus learning,or are you a Martha doing all you can do,and trying to get all the details in life right? If I am honest,I have to say I want the heart of Mary,but get caught up in the details of life,and end up being Martha in this world. Here Mary was letting go of all the STUFF,and spending time with Jesus,and Martha is in the kitchen and running through the house trying to get all the things done.I think she thought she would make Him proud of her if she completed all she thought she had to do.How do we get so mixed up in this world? I want to sit at the feet of my Savior,and learn all I can about Him,but I struggle so much with trying so hard to make all things perfect,and pleasing to God. When we read this beautiful story of these two sisters, who couldn't be more different,it is a picture of our lives. As I read this story today again,it made me realize I have to let go of all the STUFF,and just turn to Jesus and listen to Him speak to me. In life we get so caught up in making things the way they should be,and then upset when they are not. We just have to let it all go,and put our trust and hope in Jesus.Live for Him,and let Him care for all the rest.All that stuff was not meant for us to handle alone.Mary had it so right.She didnt waste time with the little stuff,or even the big.She loved and trusted Jesus enough to know that He was what is really important,and He will take care of the rest. Martha was like a buzzing bee,moving around like a mad woman trying to make things perfect.I think she learned from Mary that day,just as I have learned again to just let it all go.