Finding Our Way Through The Aftermath

Two years later life has changed. It's been altered. Nothing is the same. On October 12, 2016 my husband was in a severe crash where he was hit at full speed from behind while he sat motionless. That red light in many ways saved his life. He's a professional driver. He carries US mail and was on his way home from work. He usually arrives home around 1:30 or so. But on this night he was running late, after arriving in St. Louis late after his run. 

So why would that red light where he was stopped possibly save his life? When the light turned green, before he moved his foot from the brake to the gas, before he shifted gears, he looked behind him. He is always aware of his surroundings. This is something he has instilled in me. Seeing the driver, not breaking, not slowing, but swerving into his slow lane, gave him one second to hang on, to brace himself for the hit that would change his life. 

After he was rushed to the ER, after many appointments with specialists, he was diagnosed with a concussion, a brain trauma. I have to admit I didn't know much about concussions before now. I think I could now write a book on the process. He now two years later still suffers from Post Concussive Syndrome. His brain endured three hits that night. The first was when he was hit from behind, then when he flipped end over end, third is when he landed upside down and crashing sideways. 

When he finally came to a place where the truck was no longer moving, he smelled gasoline, felt the wetness on his legs and feet, (Later at the hospital they would have to remove his gasoline soaked clothes.), he realized he had to get out. The only way to escape was from kicking his way out of the side window. 

I must share that this is frightening. I wasn't there side by side with my husband. Which he says he is forever grateful I wasn't in the truck with him. He's grateful our grandchildren were not present. Only him. I can only know the fear he endured and is still present today, by the words he has used to describe this crash. Those words haunt me. In the silence of my brain I can hear the roar and explosion of the crash. I can see him flipping end over end, the metal of truck bending and breaking. I'm not sure you can see clearly, but in the underneath of the truck there is nothing left. 

He was hit so hard his radio flew out of the insert, his phone contained broken glass in the charger, his glasses were thrown, the bed-cover landed two hundred feet away, not all of the tools in the trunk were ever recovered. You can see from the photos he wasn't hit straight from behind. The car came into his lane and hit from the right side. 

So how is he today? There are days where he feels like the crash just happened. He has memory issues, a fogginess, migraines, nerve pain, neck and spinal pain, mood swings, anxiety, he grows easily tired. Every day is something new. One pupil still remains enlarged, his ears haven't stopped ringing for one second. Two years of hearing constant cicadas, high and low. He too has lost a great deal of hearing. To hear my husband say to me, "Rob, I don't want to become useless.", breaks my heart. He has upcoming appointments with more specialists. We are praying for healing, for good news, to learn more and get him to a place where he can wake without pain. His hearing will never improve. The ringing? That isn't coming from his ears, but inside in brain. This happened from the severity of the crash. 

Two years later and we are still waiting for the jury trial. It was scheduled for November 1-2. Dawn Woosley is charged with Assault 2nd Degree-Operate Vehicle While Intoxicated Resulting In Injury-Felony C, with a second charge of Assault-2nd Degree-also a C Felony. The jury trial was postponed  because her defence attorney is facing illness. On December 4 at 1:30 there will be another hearing to reschedule this trial. 

On February 14, 2018 the judge revoked her drivers license for a one year period for refusing to admit the breathalyzer. This is seperate from the criminal trial. What are our hopes? She could receive a seven year sentence. We know, although this is not the first DWI she has been charged with in the past, will not happen. So as of right now she is the "accused". We are hoping to hear a guilty verdict. Now, being guilty of recklessly crashing into my husband isn't in question. Her being intoxicated is. She refused the breathalyzer. In this case I wish this crash would have happened in our county and not in the city limits of Byrnes Mill, Missouri. If so, a warrant would have been issued and a blood test would have been given. There is much that could be different in this case. But truth will prevail. My husband will testify to all he seen before and after the crash. I have been preparing for two years now to speak on his behalf in the victim's impact statement at her sentencing. This is empowering for us, the victims, because we will be able to speak the truth.

This woman who crashed into my husband, at the time was forty-six year old, a bar owner, and a nurse (Let that sink in for a moment). Why does that matter? A nurse is trained to run to give aid. She is trained to help when she sees someone in need. At the time of the crash she was seen by my husband slapping her leg in laughter with her friend and passenger. There was no running over and checking on my husband. Instead the passenger is seen with witnesses sharing cigarettes. All this while my husband is waiting for the ambulance to arrive. 

How should things be? Let us just take out the idea that she could have been intoxicated. She crashed at full speed into my husband. That alone is a felony. Why wouldn't you help the person you just crashed into in the night? Why prolong this with a trial trying to say you are not guilty? A person with integrity and honor, wouldn't do such a thing. We raised our five children to hold themselves accountable for their actions. There is no accountability here. It angers me to hear her defense attorney try every avenue possible to try and gain her innocence. 

We are living daily her choices of that day. We may be innocent victims of her poor choices, but we are certainly overcomers with Christ. He moves on behalf of His own and because of Him we have come so very far in this journey. He will continue to lead us, to surround us with godly support and prayer. This journey is far from over. A new court date will only prolong this, but in God's perfected time this portion of our journey will come to an end. 

What are my hopes? That she will be found guilty. That my husband will find a place of healing. That our Lord will gain all victory and as our voices on drunk driving will grow. We have a voice and in that we can come together with others to bring about change in these matters. Our laws need to be obeyed and new laws need to be added to make it a first time offense DWI with prison time, not shock time, not a suspended sentence, and nothing of probation. As a bar owner, at the time, she has since lost her bar, should be held at a higher standard. But I say this reminding you that she is at this time, "only accused". 

At the time of my husband's crash, this woman who caused his injuries, was a member of a local group my best friend had set up for her son, Donnie Tipton. It was called, "Justice for Donnie", and this group was set up because on September 12, 2014 Donnie at fifteen years of age was hit and killed by four drunk drivers while he waited at 7:10 in the morning for the school bus to pick him up. So, Dawn Woosley was a member of this group in search of justice for the drunk drivers who killed Donnie. That speaks volumes. Ironic isn't it? That two years later she would cause a severe crash and be charged with DWI. 

The anger still comes. I weep for what my husband endures. Our lives are altered in so many ways. When that anger comes that is when I open my hands once again and hand it to Jesus. Trusting Him with everything that is behind us and in front of us. I can tell you that is a daily battle for me. As I care for my mother who is in the early stages of dementia, as we care for my husband's parents, and now as we will step up for his brother who is facing possible colon cancer. I am so thankful for our family and friends who support us with such encouragement and inspiration. In our walk it is our hope that we stand in truth and honor so that we can help others facing these same trials. 

Friends, if you are facing a journey such as ours, don't give up. Walk in hope. Know there is a greater purpose in the trials we face. God is always at work in us and if we allow, that's the key, allowing, He will move and do wonders in our life in bringing us closer to Him. We may not be able to see the outcome, but He knows our yesterday, today, and tomorrow. There is no wavering in His love for us. 

"Do you know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint." 

Isaiah 40:28-31

Mangled Grace

It's 1:30 in the morning. I'm curled up with Stanley cuddled in close. As sleep has captured me my phone begins to chime. I see I have missed a call, but this is from an unknown number. I never answer when it's an unknown number calling. I look at this call and wonder, who in the world is calling at this hour. But with my eyes still sleepy I don't notice the time until it rings again. This time I see that my husband should be walking through the door. The only thing that leaves my lips is, "Oh, sweet Jesus, please help". 

Fear of answering grabs hold of everything in me. But I hold my phone in hand and swipe, saying, "Hello". My husband's shaken voice is on the other end. He tells me he has been in an accident and is at the hospital. I've never heard my husband's voice so shaken. He tells me I need to come. He assures me that he is okay. I again ask, "Are you okay?", and he tells me, "I have a very large bump on my head, a cut on my head and cuts on my hands, and some bruises. Just come and be very safe driving to the hospital". But see, I know that he isn't going to tell me if something is seriously wrong because he knows I have to drive to a hospital I have never been to before and it will take me a while to get there. See, he's all about protecting me. 

I gather my clothes. I can feel myself shaking. I still don't know all that happened. I just know I have to get to my husband. I seek my keys and head out in the dark. I hate driving in the night hours. My husband has always been here for these late night calls that bring fear. He would be the one driving us, but tonight it's my husband on the other end of that call and here I am driving in the darkness of the unknown. This just isn't suppose to happen, right? We never expect this to happen.

Tears but can't help to fall. I start the engine and the Christian music station begins to play. I pull out of my drive and ask for God's protection. Tears are falling and all that I speak is words to my Jesus. "Thank You, Jesus. Thank You." I don't know how long I say these words until prayer escapes. I am crying so hard now it's hard to catch my breath. I raise my hand in praise. I then open my hands and share with Jesus, "All I have belongs to You, Jesus. Everything I am and all that I love I place back in Your hands. Forgive me for trying to hold on to all that You love." I pray peace and healing over my husband from head to toe. I have no idea what I will see when I finally get to him. 

The hospital is releasing him. I pull up to the ER and there is my husband. I touch him. I look him over. I feel the lump on his head. A lump so big that it feels like two eggs on top his head. He still has blood on him from his cuts. They have given him pain medication. He seems to have such adrenaline rushing as he shares with me pieces of what happened. He is still so shaken over what he has lived through. As I listen I feel like I'm in another dimension.  Can this really be happening? I listen with such unbelief that my husband just went through such a traumatic experience. I just want to get him home.  "Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for protecting my husband." 

On our drive home my husband begins to share with me how he was sitting at a stop light as a driver crashed into him. She never tried to stop. She crashed into my husband at a full speed. She hit my husband so hard she went under him, pushing the back of his truck up to where you cannot even tell there was a bed on his truck. He flipped end over end, spinning to a stop. She hit him so hard she ruptured the gas tank. Later we would hear from a fireman that in his opinion if my husband would have stopped to fill up his truck could have blown up on impact.

See, my husband wasn't just hit on impact. He took three massive hits. First being hit from behind, then when he slammed on the roof going upside down, and then slamming into the concrete electrical post. Finally coming to a stop one hundred feet away from impact. 

Upside down, my husband is disoriented. He smells gas. He soon feels gas pouring on him. His pants and boots were covered in gasoline. He is fearful his truck is going to blow. He crawls out the side window. I cannot imagine the fear he was feeling. He was afraid of crawling out and having another car hit him. Once he is out he hears the people in the car who just crashed into him laughing. Can you imagine the horror of hearing people laughing and saying, "What the hell just happened?" They have no idea if my husband is dead or alive. Haven't checked on him at all. A witness calls 911.

I am listening to my husband tell this story and all I can feel at the moment is God's grace for allowing my husband to survive. We would later know they had Air Evac on standby. We too would later hear that when the firemen and EMT heard the helicopter to be cancelled they thought my husband had died. 

I would get my husband home, help him inside, and once again look him over. Adrenaline is still flowing in my husband. It's just so unbelievable. There would be no sleep for us on this early morning. But my husband would soon close his eyes trying to relieve the pain. I laid next to him with quiet tears flowing. "Oh, sweet Jesus, thank You." 

See, this person arrested on this night for DWI had no regard for life. She placed my husband's life in the pathway of her poor choice to get behind the wheel. In my opinion this nothing less than attempted murder. Is the passenger guilty as well? In my opinion, yes. She too had an obligation to check themselves. If the driver was impaired all it would have taken is one person to speak up. One person to not allow the keys to enter the ignition. This driver could have taken the life of my husband, our children's father, our grandchildren's Papa, his parents youngest son. They had a choice. My husband did not. He was on the receiving end of the choices made. 

Grace. I could have received a different call. I could have received a call that husband was not coming home. I would have woken to a different life all together. If you were to ask me where my thoughts are today I would share with you all the different scenarios that could have been because of the poor choices of others. 

Today my husband is suffering from Post Concussive Syndrome. It has not been easy. It has been a terrifying journey. He has a long road ahead of him. Healing is coming. Patience isn't easy, but this is where we are and this is what our Lord has called us to do. 

I am blessed to kiss my husband good night tonight. But I know what happens on the other side of an impaired driver. My friend, Bobbie, lost her son on September 12, 2014 to impaired drivers who decided to race at extremely high speeds. The lead driver would crash his car into Donnie as he waited for the school bus. To read of Donnie's story follow the link: http://robinsnest66.blogspot.com/2014/09/my-letter-to-my-friend-bobbie.html.

In these past weeks I haven't slept much. I wake at night and I envision my husband covered in gasoline, crawling out of his truck. I can see his truck on fire. I can envision all that could have happened. I can even tell you I hate answering my phone. Anxiety has blanketed my life once again. I can't think of my husband's crash without thinking about Donnie. My mind churns from peace to anger.

Oh, yes, the sweet grace of God, has blessed our lives. What else do I envision? God knew this was going to happen. He knew this person would make the poor choices that led to this crash. He knew my husband would be in her path. I can so clearly see the hand of God upon my husband. I see His hands cradling my husband's head, where the top of his truck was crunched right above his head. The back of his truck had pushed into his seat. This is nothing short of the grace of God. 

Where there is evil there are angels presiding. These angels covered my husband with their mighty hand. What Satan has meant for evil God will use for His glory. I have no doubt more of His glory will be unveiled to us. He has already shown us so much of Himself. Oh, if we could only see the spiritual side of this life as angels protect and as God's hand covers us. 

My husband asks me, "Rob, what's wrong? I know you're so tired, but what else is it?" Tears come so easily. I can't imagine my life without my husband. There is a battle ragging within me. I know God's grace. I feel His presence with us. But there is also anger. The moment I seen my husband's truck I thought for sure my knees would give way. I couldn't breath. The only word that would escape was, "Jesus". In all this mangled mess was God's grace! God gives opportunity for me to share the grace of God saved my husband. Not luck. No happenstance. I too am given opportunity to share Donnie's story.  God is so good to give us opportunity to share of His love. 

These past weeks have been so difficult for my husband. I wish I could share those aspects of his healing, but that story just can't be shared yet. I can tell you that these weeks have taken a toll and the unknown of tomorrow brings its own set of frustration. Which leads me to ponder just what if it had been a different call? 

If it had been a different call, would I still be praising God? Would my faith still be mighty or would I be struggling with questions that I don't even want to speak? I can only hope I would be praising Him, but as for now, I know He is with me as I battle all of these emotions that have seemed to block me in. 

I hold my husband's hand a little tighter. I am so grateful to have him with me. I don't know when he will be 100%. That may be a long time off. It could be tomorrow. But with all the unknowns what I do know is that every step of the way our Jesus is with us. I know that He has changed both of us in ways we never imagined. He has brought us this far and He isn't about to leave us where we are. We are in for the journey as long as our Jesus is leading the way.

Standing Together In The Midst of Battle

Arms raised high in praise. "Thank You, Jesus. Thank You!" We raise our arms when crying out to God. "Help me, Lord. I need You to move on my behalf." What happens when we grow so very weary of the battle we are living? What happens when our arms no longer can remain high above? We call upon other believers to help us. Others step forward, side by side us, giving of themselves to raise our arms together, holding them up high, as we 'together' call upon the Lord.

I love chapter seventeen of Exodus. Such a powerful chapter. So much to embrace as we see the power of God and the power that lives in friendship. See, this morning I shared with my friend, Bobbie, that I would be writing and encouraging others to join us in court. Little did I know that in my morning study I would be reading this very chapter about lifting one another up in the very midst of battle.

I have start with why Aaron and Hur were lifting Moses up! That begins with the Israelites and their journey. The Hebrew children are yet again complaining. Oh, the blessings and provision God has given them, but yet, just as we do today we miss out on the here and now because we are not content with how things are moving for us. God had provided quail and manna. Water and all they needed for their journey through the wilderness of sin. Now as they traveled onward they once again needed water. They didn't turn to God. They turned to anger and resentment to Moses and Aaron. They were ready to attack Moses. Stone him even. Oh, how quickly our praise can turn to complaint, right?

God tells Moses to take his rod and strike the rock before him. Once he does water pours! This is a spiritual Rock. The Rock of Jesus Christ. This smitten stone pictures Christ who, when He was smitten upon the cross, became the fountainhead of blessing, the Redeemer of the world. Isn't that so cool? We have such a mighty God.

Hang with me now. I'm about to get to the message of friendship and encouragement!!

Now Amalek is attacking. He is a brother nation. An unexpected battle is at hand. Thrown upon them from out of no where. Isn't that how are lives are today? Battles rage upon us when we aren't prepared. My friend, God is always prepared! And He is willing to fight for you. We have a Savior who will intercede on our behalf.

The Hebrews were not trained in war while in Egypt. But Moses was. He knew what was needed and how to prepare. He gathered Hur and Aaron, not only brother, but friend. Moses calls upon Joshua, who would be Moses' personal minister for the next forty years. He would be put in charge of the military beginning with this battle. See, Moses was not only being obedient to God, he trusted these men. He knew he could count on their support. They stood together. This is what friendship is. This is what the church does for its people. This is where the community is for those who live next door. We are to be there for the journey. Brothers and sisters in Christ! Oh, how we need the armor of God!

As Moses knows Joshua is heading out to battle he takes Hur and Aaron up on the hill with him. From where they are they can see the battle below. Moses gathered his friends and they were with him while he cried out to God. He would hold up his arms to God. This was a gesture of independence on Yahweh. It wasn't Moses who held strength. Moses was growing weak. See, as long as his arms were raised to the heavens the battle would go their way. As soon as Moses would put his arms down the battle would go toward the Amalekites. This is what I LOVE so much. Hur and Aaron go over to Moses and they hold up his arms! They never let go. As tired as they too grow, together they stand giving praise to God. They are calling on God to have favor upon them. They are calling on God to move mountains. They are calling on God on behalf of Moses and their people. This is what friendship is all about.

The battle would be won. The God of Issac, Abraham, and Jacob was ensuring the victory. After the battle Moses built an alter and named it as a memorial to the Lord in the manner of the patriarchs before them. This shows such great faith. When a brother or sister grows weary from the battle we are to hold them up, not just with prayer, but to be present with them. We are to physically be present in the midst of the battle. This is a great testimony of what our Christian walk should be like as we journey this life here on earth together.

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-39

See, nothing is too big for our God. He is present. He is able. He is here for us in the midst of everything we face daily. As He intercedes on our behalf we too are to intercede for those around us.

I am calling on every believer to pray. I am calling on every believer to share with their friends, family, and church. I am calling on the people that attend church with Bobbie, those who have watched Donnie grow in church, and those who have yet to meet him. Every parent and every grandparent. Every sister and brother. I am calling on every single person in our Franklin County of Missouri to join us in court on June 17th at 2pm. Why?

Many of you have been following along as I share Donnie's story. Maybe you are just now seeing it for the very first time. It is my hope that you will share his story, that you will pray for this family, and that you will join us in court on June 17th at 2pm at the Franklin County Court House on the third floor. 

It is on this date that Ethan Humphries will be sentenced in the senseless death of Donnie Tipton on the morning of September 12, 2014. {Follow the links below to read about Donnie}. It is so very important that we pack this court room, fill the hallways, and have people overflowing until there isn't enough room to hold everyone inside. Why? I am sure you too have been watching on the news and seeing how judges are being slack in their sentencing rulings. It seems their ruling doesn't quite fit the punishment that should be for those who have chosen to break the law and create evil in their wake.

Christopher Kitchen was sentenced. He was released early from his 90 day sentence on good behavior. While he was in jail he was too released daily for the work release program.

Gerard Trotter received 3 days in jail and was released.  

Kevin Ryan has yet to be sentenced. We will still await his punishment. 

This should anger us all. What is happening that criminals should go free? These men who caused the death of Donnie deserve so much more.  Shouldn't they face a stricter punishment? These men all finally after two years of court proceedings have pleaded guilty to their charges. Guilty! Shouldn't a guilty plea mean you take the punishment given to the fullest? I mean, after all you are admitting you are guilty of a crime. That shouldn't mean you now receive a lesser punishment because after two years of fighting and saying you did nothing wrong, but now you are willing to say, "I'm guilty". We can turn on the nightly news or scour Facebook and the internet, hearing and seeing story after story where criminals are walking away from the punishment they should receive, to only walk away with a slap on the wrist. Do judges not value life? Friends, we have to be willing to stand against evil. On the afternoon of June 17 at 2pm we will have the opportunity to take a stand as we will see Ethan Humphries stand before the judge and receive his sentencing. Won't you please join us? Your presence will make a huge impact.

See, Donnie, could have been your child, your grandchild, your brother, your cousin, your friend. What would you be asking of others if he were? You would want others to fight with you, to stand with you. We have a voice. Every voice matters. We don't have to sit back and allow these senseless things continue to happen.

I have watched this family live this unexpected tragedy ravage their lives. This will never be over for them. Our community came together when Donnie was killed. But as we went on with our lives this family is still living the nightmare caused by the actions of others. We need to continue to stand with this family. This is the time so needed for us to make an impact. For this judge to see that this county is not going to take these light punishments any longer.

There's many things we can do. We can write our newspapers, our congressman, our local judges, and the prosecutor's office. We can come together and keep moving until we see changes happen. We don't have to sit by being polite and afraid to speak.

Donnie was only fifteen years old with his whole life in front of him. A life filled with dreams. He was so encouraging. He was an inspiration to every person who knew him. He loved his Jesus. Help me lift up the arms of my friend, Bobbie. Please, help me hold up her arms. Let us come together as Moses, Hur, and Aaron, overlooking the battle before us with hope and belief that God isn't finished yet. He is the author and finisher of our faith. Let us come together and cover the courthouse with our praise and presence!!

The battle is still before us. This is the time to lock arms together and make a difference so this doesn't have to happen to another child. Let there be no 'next child' that must die at the hands of the heinous actions of drunk drivers. Again, what if it were your child? What would you be asking, wanting of others? This is a fight for us all to battle together!

Since September 12, 2014 I have shared many posts about my friend. Here are just a few. Maybe you would like to take peek and follow just some of this journey of a mother's loss and heaven's gain. Maybe share them with your friends, family, and church members. It would be a blessing to continue to share Donnie's story. I encourage you to read each post and share with others. As we share Donnie's story we can give way for God to move in a HUGE way. Let us pray together, but let us be present to fight this battle on the front lines with this family who has been fighting for two long years now.

My Letter to my friend, Bobbie

Lord, Please Heal My Friend And Bring Justice For Donnie

September 12

A Grieving Momma's Heart

Me and My Friend

Lord, Please Heal My Friend

Not Just A T-Shirt

The Love Of Friendship

When we stand together in Christ it gives a powerful testimony of Christian love for their fellow brothers and sisters and for a world in need of seeing a love like no other. Bobbie, Jeremy, Phoenix, and their family will be so blessed to see this court room filled to overflowing. Won't you join all of us who will be there? Please, never think your presence wouldn't matter. It does, friends. Never think there will be enough people there without you. Your presence matters. If Donnie touched our lives in any way at all it is our responsibility to be there in support of justice. It takes courage to stand together. Let us show that Donnie's  life is worth fighting for today and always. Let us stand together and make a difference.

Standing In The Gap 

by Babbie Mason

I heard that you were hurting
That you were suffering pain
But I didn't dare just turn my head
And look the other way
For when your heart is aching
My heart is aching too
Let me help you bear your burden
That's the least that I can do
CHORUS
I'll be standing in the gap for you
Just remember someone, somewhere is praying for you
Calling out your name
Praying for your strength
I'll be standing in the gap for you
Right now you may be troubled
But everything will work out fine
For the Spirit knows before you speak
What is on your heart and mind
So I'll be interceding
Til your standing strong again
The peace that passes understanding
Is going to be yours, but until then
CHORUS
BRIDGE
So hang on my friend
It won't be long
And you have the strength
To carry on
For when two or three are walking together
It will be a much lighter load
For isn't that what a brother and a sister are for

Its Not Just A T-Shirt

I was bent over and looking at a table when I hear a man's voice, "What does your shirt say?". I turn realizing I was wearing a simple t-shirt I had purchased at our local Goodwill. Okay, first, a great place to pick up comfy t-shirts, and second, I really had to think about what I was wearing at the moment LOL.

I looked down at my shirt and then up at the man in a wheel chair before me. I smile at his tender eyes and say, "Oh, its just a comfy t-shirt". Maybe I should back up just a bit. I was looking in Goodwill for some t-shirts to wear at home and found one that spoke about drunk driving. Well this t-shirt is from a local college and speaks about spring break and how 97% of the students attending this college have designated drivers during their spring break. 

This man reads my shirt aloud. At this time we are becoming surrounded by more people that are looking at items near us. He says, "Oh, are you a student?" Bless his heart, right? A student! I could have kissed this man. I tell him, "No, its just a t-shirt". He says, "A professor? Are you a professor?" Okay, by now I am simply falling in love with this man. Again I tell him, "No, sir. Its just a t-shirt I picked up". 

See, when I was in Goodwill and spotted this cute t-shirt I thought of more than comfort. I had immediately thought of Donnie. My friend's son, Donnie, who was fifteen when he was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Donnie was simply waiting in the drive way for the morning school bus. When I seen the t-shirt I had thought it could be an opening for a conversation about how it only takes one drunk driver to take a life. Only I never expected it to happen. Oh, our God is BIGGER than we can imagine!

He is still asking about the t-shirt and once again I tell him, "Its just a t-shirt, but when I purchased it I thought it could be an opening for conversation about drunk driving". I well up with tears and tell this man I have just met about Donnie. The man becomes emotional. As I am sharing Donnie's story people around us are beginning to really listen. 

This sweet man continues in conversation with us. My husband is listening intently to this man's story. He shares that when he came home from the Korean War he was battling PTSD. He shares that at the time they didn't have a name for it, but now it is well known. He shares how his life was spinning out of control. He doesn't want to speak about the war he witnessed and lived through. I can tell it is still traumatic for him. He shares how he started picking up the bottle. He became a drunk and would drive daily with his body inundated with whiskey. He says, "I have no idea how I got home after a day of drinking". 

He tells us his wife gave him a choice. The bottle or their marriage. He chose their marriage. He put down the bottle and never again took a drink. He continues with his story. He and his wife have been married for sixty-four years. He says, "I kissed my wife on the forehead every morning and night. She is now in a nursing home battling Alzheimers and I still kiss her on her precious head, but now she no longer knows my kiss." At this point tears are falling and my husband is about to lose the tears he's trying to hold back. He says to us," I can see how much you love one another. It shows just in your presence together. Kiss each other daily, never taking a moment for granted. Kiss one another and remember your love".

I wanna take this man home with us. I want to hear more of his stories. He says to me, "Never say, its just a t-shirt. That t-shirt caught my eye and brought me back to a time when the bottle owned me. That t-shirt could change someone's life. Your 'just a t-shirt' gives way for you to share your friend's story about her son and his life on this earth and why people should choose not to drink and drive. You keep wearing that shirt and take every opportunity you can". 

By now my hubs isn't holding back his tears. My heart is so full at this very moment over my, 'its just a t-shirt' answers. I know my Jesus enough to know that this wasn't just a chance meeting. He ordained this meeting with perfection. Not only did God give way for me to share Donnie's story, but also to hear this man's precious story about redemption and healing. To hear of a love story between this husband and wife. To just open our hearts to a stranger can give way for God to move in a way not expected by us peeps just wearing a t-shirt with a hope to share. 

Before we ended our conversation I took this man's hand in mine and thanked him for his service and for sharing such a personal story. He smiles at me and says, "You keep doing what your doing and don't you put that t-shirt away".

This taught me a valuable lesson. When God places something in our heart and gives us a mission He will forever provide the way. He will show us that nothing is too big for Him. I will continue wearing my t-shirt with a mighty hope. Oh, may we walk daily realizing that with God nothing is ever 'just an anything', but always an opening for Him to move in a mighty way! He can take a blank canvas and write upon it His story and way for the world to take witness to His mighty glory. 

Where There Is Fear Faith Can Overcome

It isn't by chance that God gives us, "Do Not Fear", 365 times in the Bible. He knew we would fear in this life before us. 

You're not going to hear from me that if you have faith you will have no fear. No, it is in that very fear that your faith will come alive and carry you through. Your faith will give you strength and courage. 

Our fears can consume us. They keep us from living a life in freedom. Can we ever truly be free from fear? In trusting Jesus we can overcome the fear that shackles our feet in concrete. 

How do we trust Him? We believe Him. We either believe He is God and He's in control or He isn't. Each day we have to make a choice to surrender our fears to Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to us in ways that remind us He never falters, never waivers, never will we slip from His hand. 

Instead of a mind filled with what could happens we need to fill our mind on positive things from above. This world is filled with evil that is very real. Each day we must remember that God is alive and working in ways that we cannot see. His ways are higher than ours. That brings a comfort to me. When tragedy strikes I don't have to understand what makes no sense at all. What I do is believe that God will bring beauty from ash. He will use for good what Satan intends for evil. 

In this past year my fears have grown more real to me. As many of you know September 12, 2014 my friend's son, Donnie, was hit and killed by a drunker driver. You can read Donnie's story. 

It is since Donnie's death that fear has become more alive to me. I recently shared with my mother the fears that surface daily. I have kept this inside for such a long time now. Not wanting to share the thoughts that come and bring instant tears. 

Driving, hearing sirens, many things set it off for me. Most of all I question when the bad day for my family is coming. Our family has been so very blessed. For that I give God glory and thanksgiving daily. Our family isn't immune to tragedy. Why another and not us? So many things can happen and those things run raggedly through my mind. 

Where do I find escape? I turn to Jesus. I call out His name. I turn on Christian radio. I open my Bible. I read Christian novels and spread out my devotionals. I keep an open contention with my Jesus daily, praying and asking God to place a hedge of protection around my family. I take time and spill out blessings one after the other until the fear is gone. But I also must ask Him to use us in a mighty way. To broaden our territory and to give show us our purpose and call. To open the hearts of my children. For my grandchildren to receive Him as Savior at a young age and love Him all the days of their life. 

What Satan is trying to use to take me down, only brings me to my knees and closer to my Jesus. I refuse the thoughts of fear and ask God to change my focus to the things He has set before me that bring me to a time of thanksgiving and praise instead of fear and anxiety. 

When I turn to Jesus and away from my fears it only makes me love Him more and more, for He shows me His mighty strength covered in a grace that unveils His great love for me. 

Prayer is conversation with Jesus. Keep it going throughout the day. Prayer is powerful. It is our communication line straight to God. It is in Him and Him alone that all fear can be cast out. Friends, we don't have to allow fear to dictate our lives. It has its place in our life by giving us warning of evil, but beyond that warning we do not have to allow it room in our lives. 

I still wrestle with fear, but it isn't winning. There is a Victor in my life and that Victor is Jesus, my Warrior, my Shield, my Safe Harbor. 

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable-if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things." 

Philippians 4:8

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."  

1 John 4:18

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  

Joshua 1:9

September 12

My windows were open allowing a soft breeze to grace my morning. Coffee brewing as traffic passed in a hurry. I was just getting started with my day of cleaning and then planned to have an afternoon with pen in hand writing what my heart was ready to pour. Across at our neighbor's home I could hear her readying the school bus to pull out of the drive. Just a normal morning.

Just a few moments later my phone would jingle an early tune. Too early for a call. Who would it be calling me? I answered to hushed sobs. "Rob, you have to go to Bobbie right now. She needs you. Donnie has been killed." 

Another call. Broken sobs once again. The voice on the other end telling me to go. My phone dropped from my hand. I don't know how hard I fell. I went to my knees. Screams escaping. I was on my face crying, "No, no, no. Sweet Jesus, no. Not Donnie." 

My phone rang me back to wiping tears from my face. I didn't want to answer. It would be my daughter's voice on the other end. She had heard. "Mom, you can't go yet. The road hasn't been cleared. You can't drive being so upset. You have to wait a while, Mom." 

I sat shaking. All I could see was Donnie's sweet smile. I had to get to Bobbie. What would I say to my friend? My God, what would I say? I gathered myself together. Keys in hand I walked out the door only to unlock the door and walk back inside. It just couldn't be possible. 

I'm driving down Hwy FF with tears rolling faster than my driving. Uncontrollable emotion. I have to gain control of myself. I'm on Hwy. 30 now. Just a few more miles and I will be there. 

I have no idea how I have made it thus far. Cars are just now beginning to move through. I get close to the drive way and what I see blinds me from all reality. Yellow paint in the driveway. Dear, Jesus, what has happened here? I can't breathe. How do I drive across? People are everywhere. Faces in shock. I see a crashed car. Sweet Jesus.

I knock. Why am I knocking and just not opening the door? I feel like a stranger in a home of my best friend. This just can't be. It's not possible. Faces are everywhere filling the house. The home of my friend who covets her privacy. I'm only looking for my friend. 

She's there on the sofa. Clearly in shock. All I can do is wrap my arms around her. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you." My words are spoken in a whisper. Her reply in sobs. "Rob, my baby is dead. My baby is gone. He's gone, Rob." 

Unimaginable agony hit this family like a tornado. No warning. Unexpected devastation on a morning that began in normal happiness. Nothing can be rebuilt. Nothing will ever be the same. How will they pick up the destruction that has been scattered and tossed from the winds of this storm?

This is a morning I will never forget. Just as I will never forget the morning of 9/11 as I watched in horror and disbelief at the devastation and agony of those in the path of these evil men who had nothing in their hearts but evil. 

It seems like yesterday that was to be the morning that changed our hearts forever and shook us to the core. How does a young, bright, fifteen year old ready for school, walk down the drive to wait on the big yellow have his life ended in the blink of an eye? How is it possible his life ends the moment a drunk driver crashes into him? 

How is any of this even possible? Who is drunk at 7:00 in the morning? The sun just beginning to rise and create a day of beauty to be canceled out by a group of men intent on making life all about them. What kind of men have a mindset to drink so early and make the choice to get behind the wheel of their cars? Who downs their beer and has the audacity to race down a dangerous section of highway where a bus is readying to pick up children? Just a few more minutes and Donnie would have been on the bus! 

These men made the choice to not only drink but to race to the local diner. Needless to say they didn't make the breakfast rush. What they did make was a disaster that cannot be reversed. 

If only they would have chosen wisely. If only they would have gone home after work instead of drinking. If only they didn't enjoy racing to see who could what? Get there quicker? What a grand prize for the winner. Who was it who won the race on this day? They didn't get past Donnie without killing him as he did nothing but stood in his driveway with pack back and computer in hand. If only these men could have thought about someone other than themselves. They not only took their own lives for granted, but the lives of everyone on the road that day and the child's life that ended because of their actions. 

A year has passed. This family lives the unimaginable daily. Living one breath at a time. Courageously facing court cases that are continued over and over again. Bars do not yet hold these criminals from living their lives so freely. A freedom they took for granted. One day soon may justice prevail and may these heinous men be held within the confines of four walls and lose the freedom they have taken from a family who is living in the wake of their actions. May they face justice and be held accountable for taking the life of sweet, young Donnie Tipton.

Donnie's story doesn't begin or end on this day of September 12, but it was forever changed. Donnie's life was so huge. The impact of his shine will forever light in the hearts  that know him and in those who are just now knowing his name. 

Donnie's story begins with a God who created Donnie into existence with glory and might. Donnie was created in His image for a great and mighty purpose. He was created in greatness for greatness. It carries through to a momma's love for him as he was just beginning to form. This is where Donnie's story begins. 

His life on this earth was magical as he touched the lives in a powerful way of everyone who knew him. Donnie did more in fifteen years to impact the hearts of others than most do in their entire life lived many years. Donnie didn't have the chance to continue his journey here. That was taken. Stolen from him and his family. 

Donnie's story will continue on in every heart. And there will be a day, oh, that day will come where we will all meet once again. Right now Donnie is living on the other side of heaven. I can only imagine the beauty that has touched his sight and brought new emotion he didn't even know possible. His loving Creator never taking His hand off His child. But reaching deeper and wrapping His arms around him to carry home the child He created.

Oh, how the stars are brighter for Donnie now. He's on the other side of this earth with his Heavenly Father. His momma has been without her son for 364 days today. I can't fathom spending one without my son. My heart aches for my friend and her family. Life unimaginable isn't changing. Time isn't healing all wounds. Life is breathless and each day is one that they rest in the hope of Jesus, knowing one day soon they will see Donnie again and until then they live with that hope, a faith that remains and is too strong to be broken.

How do you not question everything in life now? How does fear not cover you like a think blanket? Jesus. He is the only answer. This doesn't make sense. This new life for them is unbearable, but with Jesus they breathe in and breathe out with a lasting hope of forever where the stars are brighter and no storms can reach. A place beyond the agony they live daily. A heaven that only our Father created. It is through Jesus that hope is alive and through Jesus that faith stirs in us a longing for home.

We love you, Donnie. See you soon.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

"The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom should I be afraid? When evildoers came against me to devour my flesh, my foes and my enemies stumbled and fell. Though an army deploys against me, my heart is not afraid; though a war breaks out against me, still I am confident. I have asked one thing from the Lord; it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, gazing on the beauty of the Lord and seeking Him in His temple. For He will conceal me in His shelter in the day of adversity; He will hide me under the cover of His tent; He will set me high on a rock." Psalm 27:1-5

My Letter To My Friend, Bobbie

Lord, Please Heal My Friend

Me and My Friend

I sat with my friend today. Have you ever sat next to a friend while they had to describe to someone the death of their child? No one ever imagines that conversation to be overheard. My friend, with phone by her ear, with words pouring from her lips, sat before me broken and battered. I heard her once again share the impact upon her life the morning her son's life was taken from this earth. 

Can I be real with you? I can't remove this heartbreaking story from my heart. It's not just a story I read in a book. It's life. It's my friend. My beloved friend. I see the images she describes. I keep myself together when I am with her. But when I'm alone it hits. I share with my husband, but still to this day I have never shared with anyone the full story of that day. I can't speak the words. My heart bleeds for her and as a friend there isn't anything I can do. Sure, I can pray with her. I sit with her. I can help her fight for justice, but in no way can I take her indescribable pain away. Sometimes I simply feel useless. If there was only more I could do for her. I keep my phone next to me as I sleep at night. I can only imagine what her nights are like. She's afraid to go to sleep. She's fearful of waking up. It's playing the nightmare over and over again. Reliving the tragedy that took her precious son from this earth, from his family and friends. 

It could have been my child. It could have been my grandchild. It too could have been yours. Let that really sink in for a bit. In about 10 seconds her world changed forever. How people to go work at night and as they get off work at 3am and begin drinking is beyond me. It's something I can't comprehend. To be so drunk, double over the limit, put the key in the ignition and take off for a race with your buddies when children are standing out waiting for the bus to pick them up. They have only been awake for a little while. Long enough to rush the sleep from their eyes and try to prepare for the day. They hurry and eat or skip breakfast because there's just too much to do. Kisses and hugs. Goodbyes from their parents expecting that at a little after 3 they will be getting off the bus and rushing to the door. We take our precious moments for granted. Not any more. Not me. Not after Sept. 12. My friend, Bobbie, will never kiss her son, Donnie, good morning again. 

Now she fights and waits. Shares and reaches out. January 15th Donnie would have turned 16. The birthday every child longs for in excitement. The birthday every parent is fearful of because now their child will be getting their license. I remember those nights of waiting up and praying for safety over my children. Donnie didn't get that chance. No first drive, no first date, no movie night with his buds in his first car, and I might add that he absolutely loved cars! 

On January 15th his momma, daddy, and family settled at Orchard Park in St. Clair, Missouri for a balloon release in honor of Donnie. He would have loved this night. The clear night sky gave way for the bright stars to shine. He was a lover of the night sky. The balloons lighting up the night was breathtaking. More so it was heartbreaking. My eyes weren't so much on the balloons, but on my friend. She is so brave. Such a warrior. If you could truly know my friend you know she is fearless. Lights up the world with her personality, but now everything is different. 

She doesn't know if she can laugh. Can you imagine your friend, one who loves laughter, being fearful of laughing? Laughing is a part of our friendship. She's that friend I can act totally goofy with and the next minute be as serious as all get out. Most of all she's that friend that I can talk to for hours about Jesus. It's pretty cool when every conversation always comes back to our love for the Lord. 

Friendship is a beautiful and precious gift. Being sisters in Christ make it even more special. What can I do? I know that prayer is powerful. Listening, just being an ear gives her room to vent and bring healing. We hold hands and we pray together. We look to tomorrow with hope. Remember the story of Moses as Aaron and Hur held up his arms when he grew tired? {Exodus 17} They stood with him in faith. This is what we do for our friends. We stand. It doesn't matter how much time it takes or how tired we become. We hold them up with everything we have and call upon the Lord to give strength and lead the way. There's David and Jonathan. Lazarus and Jesus. John and Jesus. Elijah and Elisha. Friendships that go beyond expression. These are friendships that are lasting and powerful and leave behind a legacy marked with love and honor. 

Bobbie counts the days she has been without her son. These are days I see my children and make plans for my grand-babies to stay all night. The relationship I have with my son, Jacob, is one that resembles the bond she shard with Donnie. A mother/son bond is unbreakable. It's something almost indescribable. My son had just shared with me that I would forever be the only woman who never broke his heart. Do you know what those words meant to this proud momma? Bobbie doesn't get to hear precious words from Donnie any longer. 

But I can tell you that she loves her son and she was the best momma to him. They shared the kind of relationship that most only dream of having with their sons. So, how do I share with her the joys in my life with my children and grandchildren? All I want to do is protect her. I want to guard her from everything that will bring her to even more tears. 

She misses her son and I miss my friend. Isn't that selfish of me? God forgive me. The talks we have shared, the laughter that we shared, the dinners and movies, books and love of so much is as though it has evaporated. A mist that has risen and has left us dry and longing for something more. 

You know what we long for? Jesus. We long for Him to come and save His children from this evil world we live in. We are unsatisfied with this place we must call home for now. Donnie is already home. He has already seen the face of Jesus. In that my friend can breathe with peace and comfort. But that doesn't mean she isn't missing her son. Everyday brings something new. A new battle to face. A new court date. What happens when she sees these men who killed her son? 

I want to surround her in love and just wrap her up and shield her from everything to come, but you know what? There is nothing that can bring more pain than what she is already living each and every day. She knows the Word, knows the promises of God. She bravely walks in faith. She is a woman I admire. A friend I adore. A sister that I will stand with to the end. I just so happen to have the best girlfriend God could have ever sent my way. 

Friendship is a 'no matter what' kind of love. You're just there. Your presence means everything. You stay for however long, do whatever necessary, and simply be a friend. Friendship goes through the valley and over the mountaintops. I am longing for the mountaintop. I am praying healing for Bobbie and her family. God is moving. Oh, on those days where she can breathe a bit, God, in His gentle way showers her in His love. On those days she wants to scream for all of heaven to hear He is there with an unimaginable strength. This is the side you never imagine friendship to go. This is the road no mother should have to walk. And as a friend, I am here to walk with her, every step of the way. Just as I know she too would be walking with me. 

A few weeks back I knelt at Donnie's place of rest and promised him that I would help his mom fight for justice. I would stand by her side and do all I can with what I have. So, I trust and I pray that God will lead. That He will open doors and make a way for justice to prevail. 

Friends, we never know what tomorrow will bring. We never know when that call will come. Nothing in life can prepare us for such devastation. The unimaginable just doesn't make sense. But what we can do is be there for one another. Not just give our words, but put action behind them. Be the friend you would want at your side. Embrace each day and make time for those around you. Don't let the busyness of life get in the way of making time for family and friends. 

If there is someone hurting in your life right now I encourage you to reach out to them. Do what you can and be the vessel God calls you to be. Be the Jonathan to David. Be the Aaron and Hur to Moses. Don't put busyness before people. Open your heart and allow God to move. Although this life shakes us to the core, God is unshakable. This is what we remind one another when everything seems hopeless. Friends, with God there is always room for hope. He is our God of hope. 

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." 

Walter Winchell

"The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." 

Elizabeth Foley 

"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart." 

Kathleen Grove 

Lord, Please Heal My Friend and Bring Justice for Donnie

What do you say to your friend who was forced to say goodbye to her son much too soon? She didn't know that the morning of September 12, would be the last time he would ready for school. This is forever a morning she replays in  her mind every day. This horror caused by five reckless and irrational people, who chose to act selfishly, changed the life of this mother forever. 

As many of you know, my friend, Bobbie, lost her son, Donnie, to the actions of a drunk driver and his four friends, who were racing after getting off of work.(You can read, My Letter To My Friend, Bobbie.) 

Nothing is the same. Life has changed forever. My friend is broken. Her heart has been ripped from her chest. She feels an emptiness she never knew could exist. She now needs God as never before. But how does she even begin? She wants to move forward, but her heart doesn't want to leave behind yesterday. A mixture of emotions that doesn't add up. This kind of pain cannot be measured. There is no scale of 1-10. This is something off the charts. An injustice that no mother should have to face. She is overtaken by an immensity of affliction. 

She can't breathe. Her mornings have changed. It's as though 7:00am no longer chimes a sweet melody but now a turbulent siren blasts and her heart skips a beat. Everything slows down. Time isn't passing, but standing still. She is motionless. She wants to go back to the normal. She wants to kiss her son again. She wants to hear his laugh. Touch his face. Just one more day. One more moment. But would that be enough? 

Nights are no longer calm, but are now overtaken as nightmares quicken the beat of her heart. She rises as screams can be heard. They aren't coming from someone else. These screams now belong to her. She doesn't want to claim them. She wants them gone and wants her son back. 

These are her shared words today: 

"My heart is crushed...I cant have my baby back...everything hurts...looking at his beautiful face hurts...then I feel I have betrayed him. Hes touched everything in this house, but I cant hold him...I cant see him...why cant heaven be enough...why....I know my baby boy is in the presents of the King of kings....and if I can only keep my mind on heaven for those brief moments....grasping tight before they fade ..then they are replaced with.....'he was such a wonderful young man....he was going to be an excellent dad...his witty humor...his hugs. ..Our long talks...star gazing....its gone....why cant I just let heaven be enough."

My heart aches for my friend. As a mother I can only imagine the burning fire in her chest. How do I bring comfort? Is there anything at all I can do? I find myself praying throughout the day and waking at night to pray. I pray for God to give her strength. To wash her in His sweet comfort. May He just surround her with His presence. Lord, give her breath. 

I know the pain of losing a parent. A childhood friend. But this is something much different. I remember all the well intended words spoken after the death of my dad. Those words seemed to only aggravate me. I wanted to scream at those who said that time healed all wounds, "Are you kidding me? Time? I didn't have enough time. Screw time!" 

I was angry at a God I had yet to know. I didn't want anything to do with God. Bobbie loves the Lord. She is a woman of strong faith, but with this? With losing her son? Can God understand her anger? I think He can. He knows her heart and the wrenching anguish she breathes. This is that shaky ground that our faith becomes our everything. This is the time she needs God more than ever. In a way she never expected. Lost and lonely, grieving and raw, she tries to live. She wishes for the days of normal again. Not this madness that is life for her now. 

What can I say? What can I do? I can love her. I can be there. Most of all I can pray. God knows the deepest parts of her heart. He knows her every need. The Spirit intercedes and calls me to prayer. I can wrap my arms around her by covering her in prayer. 

This is my friend who was so full of life and laughter. An infectious laughter! My pink and purple colored hair girlfriend who could make me laugh until I cried. My friend who would sent me goofy texts that made my day. My friend who would dream with me. Help conjure up plot lines for stories that we could write together that would for sure be number one on the best-selling list. Movies and shopping. Perfume hunting and gathering samples and more samples. We could talk about Jesus for hours. It seems every conversation we had would always lead to our Jesus and our love for Him. 

There have been times in my life where she stood right by my side. Times when I needed a friend the most. She helped me through some tough times. Times that I never thought I would make it through. And look, here I am. I made it through. There have been many times we have prayed together. She was there to encourage me and pray me through. But now it's my turn, God, and I don't know how to help. I'm lost at what I should do. This is something that I myself cannot make right. This is a healing that only You can do. I know You have perfect timing and a purpose and plan for everything. I know we are Your vessels and You can use us in mighty ways to do Your will. Lord, please share with me what I am to do. My heart breaks that I cannot reach her and bring comfort.

She has inspired me to write and share the gifts that God has given me. She inspires me to simply be me. The me God has created me to be. She inspires me through her life and actions. This is what friends do. They are there for each other. I try with all my might to gently guide her to Your promises. May the Psalms be soothing ointment to her broken soul. Lord, You are enough. Reach her. Touch her. Bless her. Please keep the darkness from reaching her. Protect her as only You can. Fill her with Your everything so that one day she can smile again. That hope is not lost by this great despair that has robbed her of her son. 

Our community has come together with benefits to bless this family. With all of this Bobbie is so grateful. Most of all she is proud of the impact her baby boy has made on the community. She has been touched mightily by his school friends. This is a mother's hope. That her son will forever be remembered. 

I text her every morning and every evening. Many times throughout the day. I send words of hope and encouragement. Scripture that reminds her where her strength comes from and who is holding her tight. But is this enough? Even as I type these words tears fall. If only God could catch every tear and turn them all into blessings that unfold before her eyes today and for all the days to come that she must live without her son.

Lord, I want her to enjoy her favorite rainy days once again. I want her to look up in the heavens of night and be in awe of Your glory. I want her to be able to pick up a book and get lost in it again. I just want her to feel again. Feel something besides this anguish that isn't fair. I just want her to breathe You in and be able to breathe out Your peace and bask in Your comforting salve of Your Word. I want her to be whole. 

What is it that I can do, Lord? Please show me how I can reach out. I want to protect her. To cover her in every way. I want to stand with her. Lord, I'll carry her. I'll do whatever You ask of me. I want my friend back. I want my friend whole again. But even as I pen these words I know that isn't happening any time soon. 

I think of something funny and I want to shoot a text her way. But then I remember I can't. Not today. I want to call her and make plans for something fun only for us to cancel at the last minute and then laugh because we never quite it make it out the door and in the same the car. But now life is different. My friend is so broken. All I want to do is help her heal. Lord, I lift her up to You! 

Lord, how can you know a friend so well and not know how to help them? I want to place all of these senseless people in a room and scream at the top of lungs. I want them to know what their thoughtless actions has created. They should have to see before them what she sees every single day. These people didn't even care enough to help after the car crashed into Donnie and took his life. As Donnie lay dead and the driver of the car laying face down none of them did anything. I know, but only by the grace of God there go I. But right now, I feel anger. I see what they have caused. I write letters to the prosecutors and the judges. I pray for justice. 

Friends, if you live here in Franklin County, regardless if you knew Donnie, you can write a letter to our County Prosecutor Bob Parks. If you knew Donnie, write and share about him and his life. Help the prosecutor know just who Donnie was on this earth and the impact his life has made. If you have never met Donnie and don't know the Tipton/Boyer family, you can still make an impact by writing a letter and taking a stand against drunk driving and racing. You may think that your letter isn't enough, but it is.

We now fight for justice for Donnie. The community has greatly stood beside this family and many have joined the family for the very first court proceeding. Friends, it would be powerful if we could pack the courthouse at every single court proceeding in support of this family. We can take a stand against men like these four who took the life of Donnie. Your words and actions of encouragement could change everything. Most of all, it gives this family great hope that no other family would have to face the tragedy they are living with today. 

Prosecuting Attorney Robert E. Parks 

15 S Church St Room 204 

Union, MO 63084. 

I know it would be a blessing to Bobbie and her family if you could send a card of encouragement. I ask that you please pray for this family as they find their way through this new life that was forced upon them. In these coming days as trials begin for those charged in the death of Donnie this family is going to need prayer. Please intercede. Pray for peace and for justice. 

Bethel Baptist Church

c/o Bobbie and Jeremy Boyer

569 Bethel Church Road

Lonedell, Missouri 63060

Bobbie, my beautiful friend, I love you. I simply love you. This is my prayer for you:

You, Lord, are close to the brokenhearted, and You save those who are crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:18). You are surely so close to me, Lord. Help me to sense Your presence in my life. I need You more than I need the next breath. I am still confident of this: I will see Your goodness, Lord, in the land of the living. I will wait for You, Lord. I will be strong and take heart and wait for You (Ps. 27:13-14).