PURSUIT OF JUSTICE by DiANN MILLS

Wow! Intrigue/thriller/romance!! DiAnn Mills has written a book that will keep you turning page after page and leave you wanting more! I loved this book. There were so many twists and turns in this read it will keep you on the edge of your seat. A crime happens and three people are dead on Carr Sullivan's ranch. Special FBI agent, Bella Jordan, is sent out to investigate. There is a legend in West Texas filled with tales of gold and wealth. Carr has a past and Bella too is carrying her own demons that haunt her. Bella is from this area and carries a deep past here. Does she know more than she is willing to share? Sullivan is the top suspect in these murders, but soon, there are more and Sullivan is desperately trying to prove his innocence, while Bella is on the search. She is on the trail and she is close, but the murderer seems to always be one step ahead. Bella is discovering and uncovering much more than she ever imagined. Bella is pursuing justice in more than one area. The Lord is doing a work in Bella's heart and she is fighting Him every step of the way. Her past has hardened her heart, but Carr Sullivan is about to change all that. This book takes you deep into Texas where legends are alive and truth prevails. This is a winner in my collection and one that I will have to share with friends!

This book was a gift from Revell for it's review.

Award-winning author DiAnn Mills is a fiction writer who combines an adventuresome spirit with unforgettable characters to create action-packed novels. DiAnn's first book was published in 1998. She currently has more than fifty books in print, which have sold more than a million and a half copies.
Six of her books have appeared on the CBA best-seller list. Six of her books have either won or placed in American Christian Fiction Writers Book of the Year contest, and she is the recipient of the Inspirational Reader's Choice award for 2005 and 2007. She was a Christy Award finalist for Lightning and Lace in 2008 and for Breach of Trust in 2010.
DiAnn is a founding board member for American Christian Fiction Writers and a member of Inspirational Writers Alive; Romance Writers of America's Faith, Hope and Love chapter; and the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. She speaks to various groups and teaches writing workshops around the country. DiAnn is also the Craftsman mentor for the Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writers Guild.

Is It Midnight Yet?

So much in life just happens. Things we just simply have no control over. What do we do with that? We plan our lives, even as a little girl, and we see perfection. We see that white house and picket fence. We see our children playing in the yard and our husband coming home from work and the dog barking to greet him. We see our mini van in the drive way and money in the bank. We see our family surrounding us at Christmas and on every Sunday for dinner. We see health that carries us through until we are one hundred and ten. We see groceries in the fridge and dinner on the table. We see our kids off to that perfect school that will not only teach them, but love them.

When does this fairy tale come into our minds? Maybe when we are young and watching Cinderella? But even Cinderella didn't have a perfect life. She lost her mother and father. She lost everything that mattered to her. She now is living with a step-mother and sisters who despise her. They envy her and their jealousy is only hurting Cinderella. She doesn't want to be envied, she just wants to be accepted. But something amazes me here. Cinderella doesn't just sit back and saturate her mind with her situation. She seems to find joy in everything. In the creation around her and even in her work. As she is scrubbing the floor you can see a beauty. Not just a beauty on the outside, but something deep within that just seems to flow. Maybe that is what bothers her family now. Maybe they see the joy inside and that is what they too so eagerly want. They just don't know how to get it, so what now? They try to steal hers away, but it just doesn't happen.

She is ready to go to the ball in a gown made by mice. She is ready to go and just dance. One night of joy. She knows it is going to end at midnight, but she doesn't say, "Nope, not me, not this girl." She puts on that gown and is ready to accept the time she has to dance. It just so happens she gets to share a dance with the prince. A little piece of added joy she didn't expect. But, isn't that usually when our joy comes? It appears when we least expect it and that is why it puts a smile on our face. If it happened every day would we not begin to take it for granted? I know I would. I think those little moments of joy are to show us little glimpses of what heaven will be. Can you imagine? What we feel here on this earth for a short while that brings a smile to our face is nothing compared to what heaven will be.

Cinderella has the great attitude to carry her throughout life. She sees not the situation, but she takes each moment and makes the very best of it. I want to do that!

We didn't sign up for job loss. Didn't sign up for struggle. Didn't sign up for illness to hit. We don't sign up for an empty house. We simply didn't sign up for loss of any kind. Tears are not on the list. Pain was not number one the list. Families are losing their dream homes. Men and women across America are losing their jobs. People are going hungry. Kids are not getting an education. The clock is about to strike midnight and we are running out of time. What are we to do? Our situation does not define who we are! Our situation does not define who we are! Can that be said enough?

Standing in line for food stamps is not a place people dream of being. Sitting in a hospital room is not the place we hope to be. Somewhere our dreams begin to change. Now, we are not hoping for that perfect house and white fence, but now we are just hoping for life. We are just wanting the simple things. We just want our bills to be paid and food on the table. We want a decent car to drive and we want just a few dollars in our pocket to do something fun for once. We want to take our family to the doctor when they are ill and get check ups before that illness comes. We turn from that perfect picture we dreamed of and realize we just want love. We yearn for smiles and laughter to echo in our home. We want our children to have better than we did. We want our kids to go to school and be safe. Dreams seem to change as time goes on. We no longer dream of taking trips and exploring the world. But shouldn't we be? When does the loss of those big dreams happen? I want my kids to dream big! I want my family to experience great and mighty things.

I am learning it doesn't have to be in Paris to do so. It doesn't have to happen in a shopping mall. We don't have to have thousands in the bank and go out every night. We don't have to have all those luxuries to make us have simple joy. We can have joy in the falling of leaves. In the white of snow covering the ground. We can take joy in mac and cheese. I am learning that in all these struggles that come we can still laugh. We can still see beauty in the day. We can believe there is something greater and far better than we could ever imagine.

In our struggles God is there. He is intent on letting us know He is there. Sometimes those circumstances do not change. Sometimes are dreams begin to change, but life in Christ is far more than a fairy tale. If you remember in all those fairy tales there is always an evil existence there trying to take out any light of goodness. It just simply cannot be done. Where there is light, darkness is no more. Just the twinkle of light, lights up the night skies. One candle can saturate the room with a warm glow.

I saw this quote yesterday, "Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you." — A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh) For me, this is a beautiful picture. I can see Pooh, filled with love and little Piglet, in all his worry, just feeling safe knowing that Pooh is next to him. Sometimes just having a friend there. One to hold your hand is enough. The Lord tells us that His grace is sufficient for us. He is enough. In Him we can find that perfect peace. We can find all we need. Simple as that. There is nothing in this world that will bring us more joy than the love of Christ.

My grandparents lived in the country in Arkansas. I remember being little and driving down for a visit. I remember that white picket fence around the house. In the back yard were these trees that took your breath away. Flowers were everywhere. It was like a fairy tale for me as a kid. But as years went on that fence aged. It was no longer white. The gate soon fell and the trees and flower were falling away. My grandparents were aging and soon they too were gone. The fragrance of flowers no longer graced that back yard, but in my mind? In my mind they did. I can still see that beauty today. The house no longer stands. It is all a moment of yesterday, but in the depths of my mind I can still see it clearly. I can still see my self out there picking fruit, smelling flowers and riding this little cement donkey with a cart behind him.

Everything here on this earth will fade. Nothing lasts forever here. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, but one thing is for sure, we have a promise that Christ is here with us. He is never leaving. He fills our hearts daily with His presence. He walks with us down the hospital hallway and he is with us at our dinner table as we set out bills out with wonder. He sees us walking into a company, humbling ourselves for work. Whether we are pushing a broom or entering a surgery room we can do so with a joy that makes our job lasting. Each moment of our lives is moving on to the next. Nothing happens without purpose. We might not be able to see it then, but as life happens, as God happens, He will show us and lead us to the ball.

Remember Cinderella and all that touched her life. Everything that happened only helped her appreciate the ball that much more. Whatever is touching your life today, look at it as it is preparing you for tomorrow. This is our life and I promise with with Jesus in it, it will end like no fairy tale you have seen. Your story is being unfolded as we speak.In each moment of your life a new page is beginning as another has been read. Your story is not complete yet. It has not ended. As if another were to read your story what would they see? Would they see pain and struggle? Would they see the slipper missing and the Prince coming back for His princess? You are a daughter of the King. You are royal blue blood!

1 John 5:4 "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world-our faith."

1 John 4:12-16 "No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him, and He is us, because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him."

1 John 17: "And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever."

1 John 1:5 "This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all."

2 Peter 3:8 "But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day."

1 Peter 5:6-7 "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!"

Romans 8:16-18 "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

2 Corinthians 12:9 "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Lets just assume, shall we?

I don't know about you my friend, but I think I could win the award for , "Assuming Queen of the Year." Yes, this stubborn girl has many struggles and one of them is always assuming. I was blessed to do an interview with Angela Parsley. Visit this link and you can see all the wisdom in Angela's comments. http://robinsnest66.blogspot.com/2010/09/lets-chat-friday-with-angela-biehn.html

Angela shared with an honest heart that she is an assuming girl. This caught my eye. She didn't share a lot about this, but in the moment I read her words I knew the Lord was reaching my heart. He has a way of doing that, doesn't He?

It was a few months back a friend of mine shared with me that I seem to just assume too much. At first, I thought, "How dare she, I never assume." But, there is always a but! I did, I do, and yes, this girl struggles with this. You ask, "What do you assume?" Well, here goes; If someone doesn't call for a while, what do we think? Oh, my she must be angry at me. If someone looks at us, we just assume they are thinking something awful. When someone doesn't speak to us we just assume they do not like us. Am I hitting home with anyone else? We assume we are less of a person. We assume we just don't fit the bill. We assume we are just not good enough. We assume we are not pretty. We assume Jesus will never love us, much less forgive us of our past. We assume another doesn't like us simply because they do not speak to us or share our same interests. We walk into a room and then it goes silent. We assume others are talking about us, right? Why do we not just go to that person and speak? We assume another doesn't like us when they walk by and say nothing, but are we looking them in the eye and simply saying, "Hi, how are you? I know we never get to talk a lot, but I just want to introduce myself to you."

Now, see how easy that is? So, what is the problem? We always seem to want others to come to us. We want others to make that first move and do the work. We can sit back and assume someone is angry with us all day long, but until we go to that person and share our heart, we will never know, will we? Let's take Face book for instance. We see something someone has written, and all be, we think it is about us! Are we really just that self centered or that insecure? I think it can be both. We just simply want to be accepted, but in our insecurity, why on earth would someone want to accept us? We don't just assume about us. We do this to others. We see someone dressed a certain way and what do we think? Drugs, right? We hear something on the news and before we know the whole story we have them guilty and ready for the electric chair. We see friends out with others and we are not invited. We become hurt and think, "How awful, they didn't ask me to come along." We assume before we know the circumstances. We hear gossip and just assume it is the truth. That one kills me! Yikes, if it is gossip, should we be involved or thinking about it anyway? My Pastor says, "If you are not part of the problem or the solution, walk away." It just simply isn't our concern. We seem to want to make everything our concern. Let's not be busybodies. You know, those little ladies down the road who know everything about everyone. They can tell you whatever you want to know. We can become those little ladies in the blink of an eye. We see a man speaking to another woman and assume they are having an affair. We see a man picking up a beer can, placing it in his pick up and assume, "Oh my, he is a drinker, who knew?" Well, soon everyone will know because of our assumption.

There is no truth in assuming. It is like walking in the unknown 24 hours a day. There is no reality, only our thoughts to haunt us. In assuming, we not only take ourselves there, buy we invite others along for the ride. Soon, the train is pulling out and we are all on our way to Assumption City. If a friend has not called you in a while, give them a call. Just maybe they are in need of a touch of love. If you haven't been to lunch with your girlfriend in a while, reach out to her and invite her for tea. Just maybe she is struggling and is in need of a shoulder. May we not make everything about us, but think of others first.

Women are really bad about this. Really we are. A woman can see another and just by looking we think she is a snob. Who are we to even think that? Maybe she is shy. Maybe she feels out of place because others are looking at her and she finds herself assuming! Really, do we ever hear our husbands come home from work and say, "Oh honey, there is this guy at work and he looked at me funny today, I just don't think he likes me." Can you see your husband coming in from church and saying, "Joe walked right by me and didn't say a thing, I think I must have done something to make him mad." Hello, men do not do these silly things. When men have a problem with another, they go to them. Not to another friend, but straight to that person. Why do we as women struggle with assuming and then do nothing about it?

We have got to lay down our insecurities, because I am telling you that girl who walks in all dressed, hair fixed perfect and walking tall carries the same insecurities you do. In assuming we play judge, jury and executioner. Friendships can end by assuming. Friendships will never even have the chance to begin when we assume first and act second. Don't allow your mind to wander and twist things. Satan would love for us to stay in the land of Assumption. When there, nothing of good can happen.

We are not going to be the people God has called us to be. We are not going to be reaching out to others, and we certainly will not be sharing our hearts with others if we are just assuming no one likes us. Satan may not like us, but God loves us! It doesn't matter if Susan doesn't like you, speak to her in love. Give her a chance before you assume she doesn't. When we get a crazy look, why not just smile back, and say, "It's a beautiful day isn't it?" Reaching out to others has a way of making others smile. Jesus reached out to those who didn't like Him. He spoke to those who assumed He was no more than a crazy man. He walked as One with integrity. He was pure in His thoughts and His actions had honest motives. His character told of who He was. Jesus saw the heart of man, He didn't look to the outward and judge first as we do. He didn't assume what Adam and Eve were thinking in the garden. Oh, He knew, but He asked them. He wanted to hear from them. When we focus on God instead of the way of this world it will change our attitudes. When we see our worth in Christ, our insecurities will fall away. When we stop trying to gain acceptance from others and look to God for our needs we will begin to reach out to others. All we can do is be ourselves. Not everyone is going to like us. Not everyone will want to be our friend. Instead of concentrating on those who don't like us and thinking about why, may we just simply be who God created us to be and love those around us.

We can assume a great deal of things. Shame on us for assuming another by their circumstances. We are not our defined by our circumstances. When we accept Christ as our Savior we become children of the King of kings. There is nothing that tops that! Nothing can tear us away from Christ. He is the real deal. He is here to stay and love us for who we are. Christ can break those assuming chains we wear so well.

Colossians 3:2 "Set your mind on things above, not on things on this earth."

Philippians 4:8-9 "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

Philippians 2:3-4 "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

Ephesians 5:1-2 "Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling aroma."

Galatians 6:2-5 "Bear one an other's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load."

Galatians 5:16 "I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh."

When we live a life of assuming we are living in our flesh. We are allowing our flesh to overtake our minds, when in fact if we walk in Christ, allowing His Spirit to wash over us, we will think upon pure things, letting go of those very thoughts holding us back. May we walk in truth and not down Assuming Lane. May today be the day we assume no more and live as Christ has called us to. Not just looking out for ourselves, but looking into the eyes of others, into their heart and reaching them with the love of Christ.

Transformers it is!

Transform: 1) To change in composition or structure. 2) to change the outward form or appearance of. 3) To change in character or condition. Convert.

Romans 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

2 Corinthians 3:18 " But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord."

One of my son's favorite movies? Transformers! He loves watching these simple things go from small to mighty in about thirty seconds flat. Just something that you wouldn't think could do much, turns into something that holds power and might. Now, you have those that are good and those that are bad. You must watch out for those that are bad. They are not out to bring a smile to your face, but just remove it. I too enjoy watching these movies. We see good and evil going against each other. Amazingly good and evil cannot run together. You must be one or the other.

We seem to fight for the underdog, cheering him on. We want him to succeed. We want to see him win the battle. Just as in these movies we too want the evil destroyed and good to prevail. Isn't it the same for us in life, real life? We cheer on those who are in the battle of their life. We want good to outweigh the bad. We want to see change. Our country even voted for change. And change is definitely what we got. Maybe not the change we had in mind. But none the less, change occurred. Through this change many have come to know the Lord. With Change, questions always come. We ask, "Why?" The One to seek to answer that is the Lord.

Change comes daily. In our own daily battles we struggle with good and bad. We struggle with overcoming our feelings of doubt and fear. We battle those moments when temptation is no longer temptation, but sin beginning. Each day is a choice. Each moment we make choices that will determine tomorrow.

God wants us to transform. He wants to see change. How does that happen? If everything is going just perfect do we seek change? No, we do not. When trials come, that my friend is when we seek change. We want things to be different. I know when trials come my way I want them to move quickly. But, God on the other hand has a total plan through that mountain of unknown territory. He wants to see change in me. He wants me to be transformed. Many times it is not that circumstance God is concerned with, but me in that circumstance.

We can transform into anything. We can be a part of this world and seek to be like it, transforming ourselves to meet the standards of those around us. There are television shows and books on transforming your life. We must be careful in what we are basing our transforming on. Like a high school teen, we want to be part of the crowd. We want to fit in, and that is a scary thing. In that fact we turn out to be followers of the pack instead of leaders of the world.

God wants us to look to Him for our transforming. When we come to Him, it is at that point change begins. When we accept Him as our Savior a change begins to form and little by little, the more we seek Him, the more we look like Him. I often tell others when they are making a difference in this world, "Jesus looks good on you." When a good change is occurring we can see God at work. We allow that old self to leave and we allow the new to form, changing us to look like our Savior.

But, He doesn't just want change on the outside. Anyone can do that. He wants the change to begin on the inside. In the heart of man. If change is not in the heart, is there really change at all? Can we walk with Christ if there is no change? I don't think so. The more time we spend with Him, the more we realize what we need to let go of. In letting go of the old, the new comes.

I know in my life right now, I am not the same person I was when I first came to Christ. Praise the Lord, I am a work in progress. I could be wearing a sign, "Change taking place." God is forever working in our hearts.

We are always so fearful when change comes, but change is good when we can direct ourselves to the Lord through it. There are times we see change coming and we want to run. He doesn't want us to run. He wants us to face change head on, knowing He has a plan and purpose for us.

When we renew our mind, our body will follow. When our body follows others will notice. They notice our speech. They notice our actions. They see how we react to change, to others and to those valleys in our life. This world should be able to look at us and see transformed people. We should look different. Act different. Live different. People should be able to say, "Yes, that is a Christian family that lives on the corner."

God is in the business of transforming lives. He did so with Paul. He did so with His disciples. Everyone who came in contact with Christ were changed in one way or another. We cannot come in contact with Christ and leave unchanged.

So, are you a transformer? Can others see change occurring in you? When others see you do they know Christ is alive and well in your life? I pray I am that vessel for the Lord. I pray I do not put off change, but grasp it with joy, knowing the Lord is about to do something powerful in my life.

Change is nothing to fear, but something to accept with a smile. Whatever God has in our life it is there for a purpose. He can use our lives to reach others in a mighty way. I always tell my kids, "People are always watching you." It is true. Someone is always watching us. Just by our actions we can bring others closer to Christ or farther away.

So, what transformer are you? I know there are days I could go either way. There are times I am not standing tall for Christ, but standing for my own gain. I am not here to gain for self, but to gain for Christ. Our lives can make a difference. The question is, "What kind of difference is our life making today?"

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Philippians 3:7-11 "But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."

Ephesians 4:22-24 "That you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."

A HOPE UNDAUNTED by JULIE LESSMAN (Winds of Change book 1)

Katie O'Connor is a young, spoiled, wealthy girl who is growing up in the 1920's. She has this idea of what the new woman shall be and that is exactly who she is seeking to be. The woman of the world. Nothing holding her back. Dreams that reach the sky. She has this attitude that everything should be her way. She is out to look for that perfect husband as she is dreaming of her career. Changes are coming to Katie. Life is not all packaged with a pretty bow attached. Her father is a strong figure in her life and he is wanting to see changes come to Katie to make her the woman she has been called to be. Not the woman the world is calling. We get a great picture of Katie's family and friends surrounding her. As Katie is wanting to experience life as she wants, Jack is her dream man. Or is he? He is that boy that always seems to find trouble, but to Katie he is exciting. He has all the connections Katie will need. Until Luke McGee comes into her life again from a childhood of past. Luke McGee was that young boy who created meanness and an ornery boy who just had the opposite life of Katie. Luke came from nothing and sees life as it really is. Luke is wanting to help others who grew up with nothing and watch them turn their lives into something special. Katie was determined to despise Luke forever, but something is happening. Luke is spinning her in circles and her heart is changing fast. But more changes are coming and more choices. Luke has another in his life that also has a place in his heart and another will enter into Katie's that she was not prepared for. Life seems to keep spinning for these young people. As the world is changing, their hearts are learning what not only happiness is, but disappointment. This book is filled with many characters and many lessons about life, love, forgiveness and redemption. These pages are filled with faith and growth. This book could easily be turned into a movie. Really, it's that good! It was one I didn't want to put down. Katie is filled with spunk and a jest for life. She is a determined girl, but God has other plans for Katie. Come along on this adventure in the 1920's and watch this amazing group of family and friends come even closer and grow from the lessons that touch their hearts.

This book was a gift from Revell for it's review.

Click onto this link and see the amazing contest that Julie is inviting you to join. She is having amazing give a ways to celebrate the release of "A Hope Undaunted".

http://www.litfusegroup.com/What-s-New/julie-lessmans-technology-a-romance-giveaway.html

Julie Lessman is the author of A Passion Most Pure, A Passion Redeemed, and A Passion Denied. Lessman has garnered several writing awards, including ten Romance Writers of America awards. She lives in Missouri.

THE WINNER OF THE THOMAS NELSON CONTEST IS!

Thomas Nelson is giving away a t-shirt to those who love Ted Dekker's newest, "Immanuel's Veins". You can see my review of this book just by following this link: http://robinsnest66.blogspot.com/2010/09/immanuels-veins-by-ted-dekker.html
The winner of this give-a-way is puppetmaster! Congradulations to you! I know you will enjoy wearing your shirt just as I do. Please send your address to my email at srprater@gmail.com and I will send your information to Thomas Nelson. They will ship out your t-shirt. Thank you for leaving a comment and thank you for stopping by my blog.
Thank you Thomas Nelson for allowing this awesome give-a-way!

Down a different road

I must say as my mom gets older this road we are now traveling on is more than new, it is scary. Yes, scary. As changes come to my mom, they too reach me. I am not quite sure what to do with all these changes.

I usually call my mom on a daily basis. If nothing more than just to check on her. Sometimes we chat and others we just seem to make sure one another is doing okay and that is it. But just that one call allows my mom know she is being thought about.

This past week has been a rough one. I had not spoken to her all week. Why? Well, at her last doctor's appointment she hurt my feelings terribly. As she is walking this new road, she is experiencing all these new character traits and some of them are not the nicest on the heart. Her words can bite and her looks can sting. I struggle in this. I tend to take on this hurt and give it a name all of it's own. This week I allowed this hurt to turn into anger. It seemed the longer I went without speaking to her the worse the anger grew. I was expecting my mom to call and say, "I'm sorry Rob." But that call never came and those words never touched my ears.

I called my mom today. I opened my heart and shared everything. Every feeling and hurt. She cried and I too cried. But my heart was emptying all that anger and was gaining a new peace. I did not speak with an angry tone. I spoke in love. I felt it needed to be said, right? Here I was spilling my feelings and then I asked my mom, "Mom, if there is something on your heart, just always please be honest with me." Turns out, mom is fearful of the unknown. See, her mother, my grandmother is in a nursing home. Alone. She suffers from dementia. Most of the time she doesn't even know her own children. Mom is terrified of being like her mother. She is afraid of not seeing well. She is scared of being alone. All those little moments she took for granite just yesterday are gone. She now has to have help with her bills and those everyday things. Her mind is just not what it once was.

See, she didn't want to listen to me and I wasn't hearing her. We were talking, but we were not communicating. We were not understanding one another. I think to a point I didn't want to hear my mom. I am just as fearful as she is. I don't know what the future is going to bring either. We always expect our parents to just be there. We expect them to be healthy. But my mom just isn't. I now, am watching over her as she once did me. I am driving her to doctor's appointments and speaking to the doctor as she did for me so many times.

Just as I am not use to this, she isn't either. She is losing control and I am taking on this role of care giver. The doctor's now look at me when they speak. They check with me and ask my opinion. Little by little my mom is losing a piece of her independence. That is a heavy thing to lose.

Things are happening that I do not understand. There are days I can give my mom 100% and others, well, it might be 30%. I have those days in which I can barely care for myself. The more stress in my life the worse my fibromyalgia is and those migraines just love stress. So, what do you do? What do you do when your mother is counting on you and you are afraid you can't deliver?

See, when my mom hurt my feelings last week, I should have just walked her in the house and sat down and shared with her. But I was afraid. I was afraid to hurt her feelings. But I ended up doing it anyway by not calling her. I just needed to share with her then and not wait. I ended up thinking, "What if something happens to my mom?" I want to care for my mom in such a way that each night when I go to bed I know I did all I could, even if it wasn't much, it was all I had to give that day. I want her to live in such a way that she can talk to me about her fears and frustrations. Although she is a grown woman, she cannot think as she once did. Her thoughts are a little slower and her fears run a little deeper.

Growing up we just didn't share our emotions at home. Mom and dad just didn't open up like that to me. We didn't hug and we didn't say, "I love you." I didn't hear, "I love you", from my dad until he was ill and dying with cancer. It was just the way they too were raised. I am much different. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't hug my son or tell him I love him. It was the same when my girls were at home. Maybe that came from what I did not have. But even so, I knew my parents loved me. I knew I was the life of my dad. I knew I was his princess. I knew my mom would give her life for me. She still would.

I am learning no matter what road we are walking down, God has us covered. He has those rails up so we don't fall off. He shines His light so we don't stray off the path. We might get close to the edge, but like today, He brings us back around.

Just like raising our children was a learning experience day by day, sometimes moment by moment, so is taking care of my mom. I don't know everything. I am going to make mistakes. It is one of those things you learn as you go. But to learn we must have communication. We must open our hearts and share. She is learning humility and it is not an easy thing for her to do.

I cannot expect anymore from my mom than what I myself am willing to give. She is not perfect. As her care giver I see things she doesn't. And she has things in her heart she has not been willing to show.

This is one of those roads that is not easy to travel. We take so much for granite. Just those little things that make us smile. Many of those little things my mom can no longer enjoy. She now has a hard time reading. That is a hobby she fell in love with and now she is losing one thing that brought her comfort.

So, why am I telling you my struggle? I have a feeling I am not the only one. Until we are honest about our feelings and fears we are never going to grow. It's okay not to know everything. It's okay to falter. We are not perfect. It's okay to be angry about what is going on. It's what we do with that anger that is important. We must give it to Jesus. We must hand over all those feelings so He can sort through them and return our hearts to peace. Peace will not come until we are ready to give up all those feelings we are holding on to. I think sometimes that anger is a protection for us. I know this week it was for me. I was afraid to see my mom that way. I was fearful of seeing her talk to me the way she did. But today I reminded her of when she too cared for her mom and her mother hurt her feelings. Grandma didn't know she was and my mom didn't know she was either. She was stuck in her frustration. I was stuck in my fear of losing my mom. Isn't that what it comes down to? Losing my mom, or even losing some of my freedom? Hmm. That is hitting home now. See, the more my mom needs, the more I must let go of.

It is a struggle, but I know on this new road the Lord is going to lead us. He is going to provide us with new blessings. Sweeter moments and memories to last. I am learning patience. I am learning to stop and remember IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. Right now, I need to make the Lord my focus and when I do He will give me all I need to care for my mom. When change comes we can't run the other way. We must face it head on. Not with fear, but with a faith in God, trusting Him each step of the way.

She isn't wanting my sole attention. She is wanting only my love. She knows I live with a great faith. She sees me travel a road of my own and she admires me. That stirs my heart with such emotion. I need to pray with my mom. I need to reassure her with God's promises. I need to surround her with positive attitudes of courage and strength. I know the Lord has a plan. I just need to tune myself into Him more and He will fill my heart with encouragement and grace.

Wherever you are today my friend, know that He is with you. You are not on any road alone. Reach out and ask for help. Don't allow yourself to get rundown. Get your pick me up from the Lord. Get on your knees and don't get up until you are refreshed and renewed with a positive attitude and one that you can share with others. I need to share more of that with my mom.

Lord, thank You for my mother. Thank You for today. Thank You for my daughter who opened my eyes today to help me see I needed to let go of my own hurt and find the truth. Help me to remember today is all we have and I need to make the best of each moment. I can make a difference in this world and in my mom's life just by being a willing vessel and allowing You to live through me. What a gift just this one phone call was today. Forgive this stubborn girl and help me to always see there is always a better way, Your way!

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown."

1 Corinthians 10:24 "Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being."

1 Corinthians 10:31 "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

Hebrews 13:5-6 "Let your c0nduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"

1 Peter 6-7 "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

1 John 3:11 "For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another."

THE WEIGHT OF SHADOWS by ALISON STROBEL

God's grace covers all. His redemption touches all. His forgiveness can wash us all. Alison Strobel has written a beautiful story that shows us just how mighty God is and how one choice can change our lives forever. This story brings together, Kim, a young woman facing abuse, Debbie, a woman who is working at a women's shelter, and Joshua, a father, trying to raise his daughter after his wife's death. As each detail unfolds in this gripping story you just keep turning pages. I was not able to put this book down until I finished the last page. Even though I have never found myself in any of these character's positions Alison has a way of making us feel connected with each character. Our pasts haunt us and at times we are not able to forgive ourselves. We find ourselves searching for ways to cover our pain. Each of these characters brought out something valuable. Our need to be loved, forgiven and accepted. We carry such weight and walk in shadows hoping others do not notice our pain. Alison Strobel has a rare gift in bringing such a painful story to light. This is such a hard subject, but this book shows every side of pain. I can tell you, this book is a gem. It is a treasure to hold in your hands. This was the first book I have read of Strobel and it will not be my last. Wow!

This was a gift from Zondervan for it's review.

Alison Strobel writes novels that explore life, love and faith. She lives in Colorado with her husband and two daughters. Visit her at www.AlisonStrobel.com

LET'S CHAT FRIDAY with ANGELA BIEHN PARSLEY

Angela is one of those girls we can learn much from. She has a heart to spread the love of Christ and to reach others through her ministry. I am so happy she has come to visit and share her struggles and blessings. She is an encourager and one we can learn a great deal from. If you stop by her blog you will see her honesty and pure heart for Christ. I am one of those girls who assumes. I do this all the time. I friend pointed this out to me at one time and I thought, "No, I never assume anything." But she was right. I assume when others do not like me. When I was able to read Angela's wisdom here it was like a light bulb came on. One of those moments where it finally hit me, that yes, I do assume and it is not a great attribute to carry. When we assume it not only hurts our relationships with others, but hurts our very hearts at how we look at others around us. Thank you Angela for sharing your wisdom and heartfelt honesty today. What a blessing you are. Here is our chat:

(Robin) Angela, tell me a little about yourself.

(Angela) I am just an ordinary girl who loves Jesus and has a passion to share Him with others, especially women. I am a wife to an amazing man.
A mother to two girls that I enjoy homeschooling. I am a northern girl transplanted to the beautiful south. I have a heart for those who are hurting especially at the hands of the church. I love to grab me a Starbucks mocha anytime of the year!

(Robin) Since you have walked with the Lord has there been a time you struggled in your faith? If so, would you please share?

(Angela) There are times in all our lives when we struggle with our
faith. It is part of the process and growing and working out our salvation with fear and trembling. Our salvation is there always once we accept Christ's lordship over our lives but there is a deepening of that amazing gift. Trials bring that deeping. So there have been many struggles. First when I came down with an unknown debilitating illness. I questioned
why God would allow it to happen to me. Then another time occurred while at church serving and leading a ministry people turned against us. Those are the two hardest times this far that challenged me to really lean into God in a new way. Was not sure if I would make it through but God is good and brought me to the other side of both of those thus far. Each time it is hard but I have a deepened trust and deep knowing that God will truly never leave or forsake me no matter the trial. He is always there. Always dependable. Always.

(Robin) Has there been an "aha" moment in your life that has changed your perspective?

(Angela) YES! I did a Bible study by a woman named Dee Brestin. It was called Falling in Love with Jesus. This study changed my life. I finally realized how much God really loves me for better or for worse. I lived trying to earn love until this moment. Then the light bulb went off and changed my life forever. The security in HIS love is so good. God has allowed this sweet woman of faith to come into my life and mentor me from time to time. He used her to get me through some really tough spots.

(Robin) Do you have a favorite bible story, verse, song or hymn that gives encouragement when struggles come?

(Angela) These vary when different trials come. However, the book of Job and Habakkuk both bring great comfort to me. The song Blessed be You Name brings comfort. The verse "Never will I leave you Never will I forsake you" is a constant source of comfort in my life.

(Robin) What is one thing you look for in a close friend and what is one quality you hope others see in you?

(Angela) Authenticity. Trustworthiness. Someone who will tell the truth even when it hurts because keeping me pointed to Jesus is what matters most. That is true love.

(Robin) What are a few of your favorite books you have in your collection you would share with a friend?

(Angela) Radical by David Platt hands down. Also, Falling in Love With Jesus by Dee Brestin I spoke of earlier.

(Robin) When life seems to go crazy, what is one thing you do to bring comfort and peace? (Angela) Turn on the praise music. Get real honest before God. Find trusted friends to talk things through with. Those friends that will keep me pointed to Christ.

(Robin) What is one thing about yourself you admire?

(Angela) My endurance. God is showing me I am much more stronger than I ever thought I was but only in HIM.

(Robin) What are a few of the things you love surrounding you?

(Angela) My family and friends.

(Robin) What are your deepest passions?

(Angela) Seeing the body of Christ united. There is so much quarrelling in the church it grieves me to the point of tears. I want to see unity like Christ desires for His bride. I want to walk along those hurt and broken because of it. Also teaching the truth of God's word. Being a part of making that light go off in someones head when the understand something for the first time.

(Robin) What is the best advice ever given to you?

(Angela) Don't assume others don't like you unless they prove it to you. ~Jan Silvious (I am notorious for assuming people do not like me.)

(Robin) In the legacy you leave, what is one thing you hope out shines before all others?

(Angela) That I was a woman of Truth and Grace.

(Robin) What are you currently working on?

(Angela) Several writing projects and just being faithful as a ministry to take the next steps God gives us.

(Robin) How do you define success?

(Angela) Being in the center of God's will. That will be different for each person.

Simply being at the center of God's will. I love that Angela. As that place is different for each person, that is exactly the place we need to be. When we are focused on Him and totally surrender to Him, nothing but wondrous things can happen for His glory and honor. Thank you so much for stopping by. Thank you for giving such tender wisdom for us to carry away to make our own walk with Christ sweeter. Blessings to you sweet lady.

If you would like to see more of what Angela is doing I encourage you to check out these links:

http://www.refreshmysoul.com/

http://www.refreshmysoulblog.blogspot.com/

What do you see?

"If you judge people you have no time to love them." ~Mother Teresa

My family came from Arkansas. Both sides. Needless to say I grew up in a house filled with hatred. Hatred for what? Another man's skin color. The "N" word was regular in our home. It was a word I hated. Just to hear it made me sick. Growing up it is one I heard on a daily basis.

I am not sure how, but I escaped those feelings. Even growing up with them I never felt hate. I never thought, "Could they be right?" I always knew it was wrong. I never knew anyone of color. I didn't even know anyone of another race. It wasn't until I was in Cosmetology school that I met a black woman. This woman carried much love in her heart. She was funny, loving, and a woman I admired. She was the first person in my life to ever invite me to church. I went home that night excited to share with my parents, but was quickly let down. They informed me I would never enter a church where black people attended. Gosh, I didn't even attend a church where white people attended. My parents never walked through the doors of a church with me. I was so hurt. I didn't even know what kind of church my friend Alice attended, but I knew I wanted to go. Maybe I just saw something different in her. Something kind. Something I had never seen before. This woman was accepting me. She wasn't judging me. She didn't look at my color, but at my heart. Isn't that what we are to do? Does not the same blood run through all of us? We are all connected through One Savior. His blood touches us all and covers our sin.

I remember arguing with my parents. I remember their hurtful words. It was almost as though if I accepted people of color they were not going to accept me. It was a hard time for me. Here I was a young adult having heard this my whole life and still wondered, "Why do they feel this way?" Still today I do not know. It is something I just do not understand. I love the fact that we are all different. I love the fact that each heritage brings us all together in one way or another. There is so much to learn from each other. If we could only stop looking through eyes of color and begin to see the heart of man the world would be a different place. I learned from my friend Alice. I saw love in her, a love that I rarely saw in other people. She held a kindness in her speech and when she laughed her eyes lit up.

I mean, it's not as though my parents grew up rich or something. They were poor farmers. They picked cotton. They knew what life of struggle was. They never knew if they would eat the next day. Where does hate come from? Was it just passed down from their parents? Isn't that where most hate comes from? It is taught to us. We just accept it as truth. But in that acceptance we are missing out on a great deal of truth.

I grew up feeling ashamed of my white skin. I was ashamed that my family, not just parents, but aunts and uncles all felt the same way. Children do not judge. Children are taught to judge. Children are taught to see the difference in others. Is it fear that causes hatred? Is is unknown? I do not like the words minority and majority. What is that really except putting people of all races in a category? For me, there is no minority and most likely, I wouldn't want to belong to a majority. It is in that majority that we find hatred and indifference. What ever happened to One nation under God? What ever happened to one people?

There are good and bad in all people. We cannot judge that by color. To me, there is nothing worse than hate. Hate kills life. Nothing good can come of hate. Can we really believe in God if we are full of hate? Can we really have a faith in a Savior if we choose not to accept His children?

I may not agree with your ideals. I may not believe in your gods. But one thing we must do is respect another man's life. God does. God does not force Himself upon anyone. He wants all men to come to know Him, but He gave us free will. He gave us a choice. Who are we not to do the same for another man? Who are we to force our ideas on another? Whether it is race, religion or politics, can we all just agree to disagree on some subjects, but in that same breath respect the other for having an opinion? I don't want to force anyone to believe as I do. That should be a choice. If it is forced than it is really not from the heart is it?

We force our children to believe as we do. I think that is what happened to my parents. Ask my mom today why she feels the way she does and she cannot really tell you why. I think it was just the way of life and everyone did it, so why not join in? But you know, nothing is going to change until we stand up and begin to make a difference.

I think we can only gain from learning from others. Everything we know came from something. Our past, a hurt, there are many attributes to why we feel the way we do. Until we face them. Until we face our hearts we will never grow into the people God created us to be. I would not want another to force their beliefs on me anymore than I have a right to force mine on another. That isn't what God wants. He cannot reach others through hate.

It doesn't matter where we were born or what color our skin is. It doesn't matter if we are rich or poor. God sees the heart of man while we spend our time looking at the color of his skin. So, who is missing out here? We are. We are all created in God's image. Can you fathom that? It is hard to wrap our heads around isn't it? He can live in each one of us and through us, He can change the world.

It is time to stop the hatred and share the love of Christ. I can invite others to Christ through simply showing love and respect to others. May we begin today to stop looking at others and begin with ourselves. May we open up our hearts and peer inside, seeking why hate is there. By releasing hatred we make room for love.

"Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances." ~Wayne W. Dyer

Have you ever looked through a kaleidoscope? It is something of beauty really. All these bright colors are brought together to create something spectacular. You can hold the piece in your hands and begin to turn it, mixing the colors, bringing a new vision to light. Are we all not part of God's kaleidoscope? His beauty rests in all of His creation. Through Him we can see the cross. Through us we can see His love.

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirs up dessension, but love covers all wrongs."

1 Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, ofr I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."