Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Journaling Jesus

I recently started a prayer journal. I sat in my quiet time and as I talked with the Lord I wrote my words down. Pretty soon, my pen was writing faster than my words flowed. It is just me and God. My heart listening to the Spirit.

I'm learning that I must be diligent in my quiet time. This is where the idea of my journal came from. I always carry pen and paper with me. You never know when a great idea is going to come along and you need to write it down fast before you forget. Why not do the same with prayer? Why not listen to the Spirit and as He speaks simply write down all those that He is laying on the heart? Ever have people come to mind you haven't thought of for a while? The Spirit moves us to pray for others.

While out shopping with my son, he goes to grab something from my purse and grabs my notebook. He starts thumbing through and sees his name. I tell him, "Hey, put that back.", and he says, "Wait a minute. I see my name". He reads the prayers that I have written down for him. He didn't say anything. He simply read. He knows his momma and I knew he was touched. It blesses us to know others are praying for us.

Recently I shared an afternoon with a friend. We had a lovely time simply talking about Jesus. She was struggling with a few things and I shared that I would pray. I reached for my notebook and said, "Hey, wait a sec. Let me see what I wrote down just yesterday". I fingered through my notebook until I found her name and I started reading aloud. Tears sprang to her eyes. My heart was stirred. Do you know that the very things I wrote down to pray were the very issues she was struggling with! I was blown away. We continued in our chat about how the Spirit moves.

He never ceases to amaze me. When I surrender myself to Him wonder happens. I see things with a new perspective. If and when I quiet myself is when I hear Him most. But He too speaks to us in a crowded room.

I want to be more in tune with the Spirit. I want to move to His calling. I want to be aware of His voice. So, I'm learning to shut everything down. Turn everything off and tune in to Jesus. I want our time to be more intimate. I don't want to just go through the motions and check off our time together from my day.

I want to be interrupted. I want to know His voice so well that as soon as I hear Him I know without a doubt He has something for me. Opportunities to share His love. Possibilities are around every corner. I simply don't always look. I'm in a rush.

Think of a momma who hears her baby at night. She doesn't just roll over and ignore him. She quickly rises and goes to his side. Sometimes that little one doesn't have to make a sound. Momma just knows because she is so in tune with her little one.

Have you ever been watching television and someone enters the room and starts talking? There's a few sounds mumbled and then your son is out the door. You send him a text and ask, "Where are you going?" He replies with, "Mom, I just told you I was running down to grandpa's house." Ah..that's what that was. Yep, now I remember. Kind of..I'm so guilty of that. People talk to us and we even look at them. We watch their mouth move. We even hear the words uttered. But we are totally focused on something else. Are you guilty too? I hate to admit that it happens to me. Breaks my heart. I think, what if that was our last conversation? This isn't the kind of conversation our Jesus wants to have with us and this isn't the kind of conversation that brings us closer to others.

Coming out of my comfort zone is difficult. But it is necessary when listening and obeying the Spirit. I have been reaching out to those close to me and asking, "Is there anything specific I could pray about?" I can tell you that those I have reached out to have been blessed. Isn't this what we are called to do? Aren't we called to reach out? Friends, it takes time. It takes a heart on fire for Jesus.

I must be honest. This isn't my daily life, but oh, how I want it to be. I struggle just as you do. There are times I hear Him and I leave my journal behind. But this isn't who I want to be. To be who Jesus has called me to be takes discipline. A journey of praising Jesus and listening to the Spirit is a journey worth taking. I want to hear from Him. I don't want my heart so trampled with junk that it gets in the way of hearing the Spirit. So, I'm learning to let go of all that junk and focus on what's important. Prayer is part of our walk. Without prayer there is no conversation with Jesus. With a heart glued to the busyness of this world, where is there time to hear the Spirit? We must learn to let go of the unimportant and make time for what truly matters.

As I read through my journal over the thoughts and prayers I have added each day I see God at work. Most of all, in this girl's heart. I am in awe just thinking of how our Lord moves in us and intercedes. Truly amazing. Prayer is powerful. I think to myself, why have I not done this before? Just maybe I wasn't ready. Maybe this is how the Lord wants to speak to me at the moment.

I don't want to live rushed. I don't want to live hushed. I simply want to be aware of my surroundings. I want to put people before phones. I want to turn off the television and chat for an evening. I want to share coffee with friends. I don't just want to ask, "How are you?", in passing. I really want to know. I really want others to care about me and ask me the same. Why don't we give people our time? Why do we not allow Jesus our time? These are questions my heart has been pondering. No more, I say. I want meaningful talks. Heart to heart. If we don't take time now, what happens when there is no more time? We spend the rest of our time living in what ifs? I don't want wasted time.

So, this is where I am with Jesus. If my time with Him isn't where it should be, how can I expect my time for anyone else to truly be where it should? This is so true. If my relationship isn't right with Jesus, how can it be with others? If I'm not giving my Savior time, am I really going to give others time they need?

I want to be renewed through His Word. I want to be transformed into a new woman each and every day. I want my moments to count. As I pen with Jesus, He speaks to me. I just let my pen flow and as I read what I have written I am in awe of how He has spoken to me.

So, I continue to write. Just me and Jesus. It's a journey that isn't perfect. It is one in which I am growing and learning. Just writing down prayer, thoughts, and whatever the Spirit leads is blessing me each and every time I make the choice to pick up my pen and listen to all He has for me.

"Don't stifle the Spirit." 1 Thessalonians 5:19

"He also said to them, "Is a lamp brought tin to be put under a basket or under a bed? Isn't it to be put on a lampstand? For nothing is concealed except to be revealed, and nothing hidden except to come to light. If anyone has ears to hear, he should listen!" Then He said to them, "Pay attention to what you hear. By the measure you use, it will be measured and added to you. For to the one who has it will be given, and from the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken away." Mark 4:21-25

"Pray constantly." 1 Thessalonians 5:17

"In the same way the Spirit also joins to help in our weakness, because we do not know what to pray for as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings. And He who searches the hearts knows the Spirit's mind-set, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26-27


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