Friday, April 25, 2014

Don't Be a Drip!

At night I lay down. After a busy day I am calmed by the quiet. I'm snuggled up and close my eyes. Sleep isn't far away. I'm thinking of sweet dreams. But there it is, that sound that is bugging the fire out of me. I try to ignore it. I don't want to have to get up. I'm so comfortable. I can't take it. I toss the quilts back and make my way to the bathroom. Just that one constant drip causes me to want to pull my hair out. It isn't comforting. It's downright annoying. Just one drip could literally keep me awake all night and I can tell you without a doubt that it would not give me a great waking.

Once that drip has been turned off I am now able to quiet myself and calm my thoughts as sleep overcomes me. A goodnight of rest does wonders for the body, mind, and soul. But what happens when that calm is disturbed? Everything is out of whack!

"If one blesses his neighbor with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse to him. An endless dripping on a rainy day and a nagging wife are alike. The one who controls her controls the wind and grasps oil with his right hand." Proverbs 27:14-16

"A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a wife's nagging is an endless dripping. A house and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a sensible wife is from the Lord." Proverbs 19:13-14

After twenty-four years of marriage I have learned quite a few things. One of those is that a man doesn't embrace a nagging wife. Not that a wife wants to be nagged at either. I don't want to be that dripping faucet. I must admit that I've never quite been a nagger. I've never been one to make a honey-do list. I am blessed with a husband who I respect and one who respects me in return. 

Something I have learned over the years is that everything changes when I'm right with the Lord. When all isn't right with Him everything else becomes a mess of things. We can come to expect others to make us happy and look for others to make us feel needed. It isn't up to my husband to make me happy. It isn't up to my husband to complete me. Ladies, that is huge for us! I am to seek my heavenly Father for everything and it is in Him and in Him only that I will find who I am and be complete in His mighty purpose and plan for my life.

When we are unhappy we tend to make others feel unhappy. Funny thing is that is starts as a drip. Slow and aggravating. Then it's spewing out of control. Have you ever noticed what change can occur from just one person with a kind word to share? Just as when I was ready for bed and the drip unsettled me. All I had to do was get up and do something about it. Sometimes we don't want to. We'd rather just settle in and try to ignore it. But that drip can't be ignored forever. 

In my study I came across these verses. First the Proverbs 27:15 and then I was guided to the others. There is a lot to take in here. Great life lessons within these verses. We see how we are to treat others and how we too should be treated. In the very first verse we see that our neighbor's early words can set our day off to a great beginning or has the potential to bring a not so happy morning. Yes, this verse is speaking of a neighbor, but don't you think it could apply? When we first wake up we sure don't want someone barking out orders and checking off a list for us before we have enjoyed our first cup of coffee. Attitude is catching. 

There are mornings I wake up like a cheery, little bird and others that I am a grouch from the word go. That goes for the evenings too. After a day full of chores and an aggravating circumstance I may not even greet my husband at the door, but stay put right where I am and wait on him to say something nice to me. Again, there I am waiting on him to make me feel better. That isn't his job. He just worked a ten hour day and he too is coming home and wanting to find some relief after working so hard. 

Yes, in today's world the wife and husband both work. We work in home or outside of the home. We get tired. We get worn slap out. But we must remember we are to work together in bringing out the very best in one another. We are to help each other. We are to encourage and inspire one another to be the very people God has created us to be. Marriage isn't a 50/50 contract. There are days where my husband is doing 80% and I'm moving at 20%. There are other times where I'm doing 70% and he is able to do 30%.

"The one who controls her controls the wind and grasps oil with his right hand." Proverbs 27:16

When I ponder this verse it pretty much brings everything into perspective for me. My husband can't control his nagging wife anymore than he can control the wind. Have you ever tried to grasp hold of oil with your hand? It's impossible to grasp. Just like that dripping faucet that keeps me from finding peace at night. I don't find solace until that drip has come to a stop. Rest is not even in my reach. Look at the definition of nagging.

Nagging: To find fault incessantly; complain. To be a persistent source of annoyance or distraction. To irritate by constant scolding or urging. Badger, Worry. 

Does that sound like someone you would like to wake up to? Yikes, it's kind of scary to think about isn't it? 

I enjoy waking up with my husband and sharing coffee. We talk about our dreams and we laugh about complete silliness. After twenty-four years we are completely comfortable together just being ourselves. I could sit next to my husband for hours, never sharing a word and be in complete solace.

Today as I write our grass is growing tall. There are things around the house that need attention. But my husband will come home around 7:00 and that will be the last thing on my mind. As my husband is at work I am praying for him throughout the day. I too am praying him home. I want to be that smile he sees when we enters our home. I want to greet him with love, not a list. I want to share dinner and spend our time just being together. 

Sometimes it's all in our voice and how we communicate. In asking my husband, "Hey, hon, could you please help me in the kitchen", sounds much better than, "Hey, do you expect me to clean all this up by myself? A little help would be terrific." Lets be real. We cannot expect from our husband what we ourselves are not willing to do. Sarcasm isn't pretty. Especially when we use it toward our spouse. Communication is key. Too often we don't share our heart and then after we have kept everything bottled up we tend to explode.  

Maybe it's age. Maybe it's lessons learned from being married for twenty-four years. There will always be things to be done. My husband is more than a list to me. I don't want to be that woman I so often see as we are walking through the store. You know those couples you see. Your thinking to yourself, boy, I'm glad I don't have to go home with her. Am I right? 

Our home should be a place of peace and place where there is a steady flow of love. Like a flowing spring near by that you might like to lay down a quilt and open up a book and take a rest as the sweet breeze blows. 

We have a choice in how we make our home. Our attitude creates an environment that is either loving and gentle, or harsh and uninviting. My husband is a gift from the Lord. I want to make each day special. Each day living as if it were our very first meeting. Although I feel totally comfortable with my husband, I never want to be so content that I take him for granted. I want our love to continue to grow. A love that begins with Jesus is one that will blossom into something new each day. 

"A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22

"Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels." Proverbs 31:10


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