Monday, April 2, 2012

Addicted And Coming Clean

Friends, I will be a way from my computer and desk for about a week. But my story is being penned each day. A story I will share with you, little by little, as God uncovers His glorious redemption over my soul.

See, about twelve years ago I started taking medications for my migraines and panic attacks. Over those twelve years, most of those medications have been sent to the trash, but there are three that I have held on to for dear life. Well, my thyroid medication is a life or death situation. If I have no thyroid, that one tiny little pill brings life to me daily. But another pill I take daily is for my panic attacks. It is to help keep them at bay and it has worked. The third has been for pain of migraines and Fibromyaligia.

Friends, twelve years is a long time to be on pain meds and they were beginning to kill my body. My stomach was no longer adjusting to them. So, sitting in my doctor's office last week I made the decision to move away from that high dose pain med to another. One at the time I didn't realize would soon put my body in to withdrawals.

You may have a picture in your mind of a drug addict. Maybe in the backstreets, dirty, hair uncombed and shabby. That is not true. Drug addicts come in all shapes and sizes and yes, even those church ladies who teach and mentor. Did I become a drug addict over night or because I wanted a high? No way. It took me twelve years to get where I am today. Each pill for me was taken  in fear. Fear that another migraine was on the way. Fear that my body was going to be overtaken by panic and sheer fear.

No one understands unless you have been there. God has been showing me a whole new side to myself. Yesterday I wanted to die. I seriously did not think I could take one more minute. But with each minute that passed I stood on God's promises. I kept saying, "God you promised You would never leave me or forsake me". "God you promised to always be with me." On and on I took those promises straight to the throne of God as my head was about to explode.

I am praising God today for a husband who stands by me. Who lifts me up and encourages me with every fiber of love he has. For a son who goes the extra mile for his momma and for my friends, Jill and Bobbie, who know my pain so very real.

I am praying you will not judge me, but follow my story. You might very well find yourself in here somewhere. So, for over the next few weeks I will allow you to journey with me. I would covet your prayers.

I know God has HUGE things in store for me. I too know before I took another step I had to totally surrender to Him and let my fears go. Some might be in shock as they read these words. Others may say, "Oh, I knew all along".

I come before you humbly and in love. May we begin today to seek God on a new level. He is so good. I cannot say that enough. I couldn't have made it through yesterday without Him. I am leaving my fears behind and surging forward with faith. A faith that will carry me into tomorrow and all God has for me.

Friends, if you see a mountain in front of you, God will get you to the other side. Once there. Once at that mountain top you will be able to see the beauty of the travel. This is my hope for you today as I journey into a new place in life.

Blessings and love, Robin

"Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: The Lord's right had has done might things!"
Psalm 118:15

"But thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."
1 Corinthians 15:57

"And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."
Romans 5:5
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