Skip to main content

Women, Drama, and Friendships

Know any women who would rather be surrounded by a group of men than a group of women?  Like you I can understand why they feel this way. I think we are are honest we have all felt this way. Women can be downright mean. We don't always make it easy, do we? 

Men can gather for a fishing trip, a trip of any kind and laugh uncontrollably. They have a great time. It doesn't matter who doesn't really get who or who doesn't really know the other. If a man doesn't know another man, they just jump in there and say, "Hey, how ya doin'? I'm Kenny." You never hear men say, "Oh my gosh! I am not sitting by John!" Men do not get so angry over a misunderstanding. Men, however, if they do have a problem, they go straight to the source. Women? Well now, that's a whole other story.

Women like to pretend they forget things, but we don't. It's like we have a memory the size of an elephant. We keep score. We get mad and believe it or not, remain mad, until that other person comes to us begging for forgiveness. We take misunderstandings to a whole new level! We get mad and rather than talk about it and be honest, well, we just walk away from the whole friendship.

Men can be in a whole group and you never hear a man say, "Hey, I want to sit by Joe. I didn't get to sit by him at dinner." Are you kidding me? Women live in cliques! It's like part of our DNA. We find out information and immediately we are in action. We don't sit on anything we hear. We are off to start a prayer chain. Yep, you know those prayer chains, right? We say, "Well, you know Susan? She needs us to pray for her." Now, it would be okay if we stopped there, but we don't. We add our own two cents in, if it's worth that much. We don't just pass on prayer, we need to gather the whole truth and nothing but the truth before we begin to pray. Ever feel like everyone around you knows more about you than you know about yourself?

Are we just born jealous of other women? Oh my, she's skinnier than me. She's friends with everyone. She has everything I've ever wanted. Her home is so pretty. She just got a new car. She's so put together. She makes more money than me. She stays at home with her kids. What does she know about hard work? The list can go on forever.

We love to point fingers at other women, trying to figure it all out as to why they are different from us. We look at other women with such envy. We see all the perfect things about them. We have a hard time looking in the mirror and seeing our own beauty. We too can point out every fault in other women while we rarely accept our own faults.

Women should be able to gather as a group and pray. We should be able to love one another even if we, "Don't see eye to eye", and we too should be able to overlook those quirky things about each other that make us so different from others. Women should be able to just be themselves and enjoy the very people that are around them. We get so caught in the fact that our friend had lunch with another friend and didn't invite us! Seriously, what example are we giving to our daughters?

Do you know what most women think when they see a group of women standing together? They are wondering why they are not part of that group. They are asking themselves, "Why don't they talk to me? Is there something wrong with me?" This is where women get the idea that some turn their noses up at them. We can simply be walking and our mind is filled with all that is going on in our lives, not paying attention to anything, but what our child is going through or what we must prepare for dinner. Then there before us is another woman, by the way we don't notice, because we simply aren't thinking, and before you know it, it's around that you are a snob and you don't even speak to people in your path!

Do you think the disciples acted like that around Jesus? Do you think they were petty and jealous about who got to sit where and who got to spend time with Him over dinner? I think most women are so insecure about themselves, they are always questioning why someone doesn't like them or why someone isn't speaking to them. You would think women would be totally in support of one another. You would think we would encourage those women around us, but we are so caught up in what we need ourselves, it's hard to give that much to others.

Sure, we give support and encouragement to those in our inner circle, but what about those other women? You know them. They keep quiet. They are standoffish. They are not really trusting. All they want is to be accepted for who they are. Not what they have or what they can give, cause lets face it, there are all kinds of ways to use a person and many feel that if they cannot offer something, well, they just won't be accepted into the group.

What if we stopped looking at one another as enemies and gathered together as the sisters in Christ that we are? What if we reached out and were simply honest with one another? Think of the possibilities if we just walked as Christ calls us to. With women, we make one wrong move and it's, "Your out!" We don't even do the three strikes and your out thing. Why give a woman more than one chance? We need to make ourselves inviting. We need to remain honest and stop pretending our life is perfect and everyone else is messed up. If women see us walk in our struggles. I mean everything we struggle with, do you all realize how many women would open up and share? It would allow women to know they aren't alone. We keep our faults and temptations in a hush, but we are wide open to bringing those of others to the table.

Ladies, we gotta change our attitudes. First, we must begin with our own hearts. We must stop looking to others and they must be perfect and give them room to make mistakes. We too must stop judging other women for things we have no clue about. And the biggest thing, how about we just stop being fake. We need to stop judging one another on motherhood, being a wife and raising children. Just maybe our own kitchen floor needs a good sweeping before we attempt to sweep an other's floor.

No one said we have to like everyone around us. In fact, there are going to be people you just don't click with. That's okay! Really it is, but lets show love. You never know, reaching out to that woman you think you have nothing in common with, well, she just might bless you in ways you never expected.

It too is okay to have that inner circle of friends that you are so very close to. Jesus had His inner circle of the twelve. Nothing at all wrong with that, unless you aren't allowing others to join you or if you are making others feel like they are outsiders.

We must remember, it's not always about us. In fact, it isn't about us at all. It's about Christ. We can be His vessels. Is there more of a humbling gift than to be used by God? Lets open our hearts. Lets make room for those ladies around us. Reach out and make some new friends. Lord knows, we can all use a friend and there is always someone looking for a friend.

Friendship is a powerful thing if used right. If we disregard compassion, forgiveness and love, well then, that friendship is doomed to end. We gotta stop expecting from others what we ourselves are not willing to give.

The only reason we feel threatened by another woman is because of our own insecurities. There are friends I miss dearly. There too are friends who have hurt me by just walking away and never giving our friendship a second thought. It leaves you guessing, "What did I do?" Sometimes it's like high school all over again and ladies, lets be honest. We all tire of the whole thing, so why not change it? We can begin the change.

There is that wise quote that a woman should be so close to Christ that her husband should have to seek God first to find her. The same can be said about friendships. If we concentrate on our walk with Christ, well, God has a way of taking care of the rest.

Lets not be so quick to judge, to gossip and to leave a friendship high and dry. After all, Jesus is the greatest example of a Friend that we have, so lets follow in His steps and leave all the rest behind.

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.”
Proverbs 27:9

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
~ Walter Winchell ~


Rebecca Bany said…
This post is wonderful and so true. I love it.

Popular posts from this blog

The Illusionist's Apprentice by Kristy Cambron

I want to begin this review sharing two reviews I was blessed to do. The Butterfly and The Violinand A Sparrow in Terezin. For me these two novels were masterpieces. Works of such exquisite beauty. They showed that Kristy Cambron is gifted with the pen, a master storyteller. They remain two of my all-time top favorites. 
It was for this reason I was thrilled to be receiving a copy of The Illusionist's Apprentice. Once again Cambron shows us a masterpiece of bringing a story to readers that speaks of faith and our Lord. Although throughout the novel these aspects are not boldly proclaimed, but are masterfully weaved throughout the story. 
Magic and illusion are not the same. I love how she brings this truth. Love that the main character was an apprentice to the master of illusion. She takes the use of being an apprentice and walks that road with integrity and hope. When we choose to walk with Christ we are His apprentices. We are to walk as the main character, Wren Lockhart walked…

The One True Love of Alice-Ann by Eva Marie Everson

Oh, just where do I begin? This is the stuff in which great novels are made. I made my way through this richly beautiful novel turning page after page with such deep emotion and thought. I couldn't turn the pages quick enough, but I didn't want it to end to soon. It's one of those novels you could continue reading as long as there were pages. No page just made of fluff, words with no meaning on the page. Every single line in this novel created a story that will last in my heart forever. 
Ms. Everson, I am so happy stories of the war were shared with you. Oh, to have your Sunday school teacher share with you, "You can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose who you marry", is a blessing that has now enchanted your readers. What a story you have weaved together. History penned with such depth, detail, and a story that captures the heart. 
This lovely story begins in 1941. The war has started. Picture a family gathered around the Zenith to hear t…

The" I Am" Makes Us Think About What "i am"

In Genesis 1:26-27 it shares something valuable to each of us about who we are in God. We are created in His image. What I love about this verse below is that is says, "make man in OUR image". What's OUR? The trinity, God, the Holy Spirit, and Christ Jesus. Ponder that. I mean really go deep. We are make in THEIR image. 
"Then God said, "Let US make man in OUR image, according to OUR likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them."
We are His workmanship. He knew us before we were ever born. He weaved us together within the womb, but even before then He planned our life perfectly for us. That's so much to ponder isn't it? 
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared…

The Glassblower by Petra Durst-Benning

I came across this selection on Amazon. I had seen so many reviews that it intrigued me. I had never read anything from this German author. The cover caught my attention as did the description of this novel. 
It's a part of a trilogy. I am getting ready to open up book 2, The American Lady. I cannot wait to begin. I tell you this book marveled me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. What a journey into another time and place. 
We travel to Germany where this novel is set. The year is 1890 and we find ourselves in Lauscha, Germany. The author did a fantastic job at the perfect description of not only the area, but circumstance, and heart of the characters. Her writing style flows so easily that the pages almost turn themselves. 
The characters are easy to love. Three sisters who are now wondering, after their father had passed from this earth,  how they will now provide for themselves. It isn't going to be easy, but these sisters show us how to prevail over challenges that…

Unexpected Blessings

The last words my dad spoke to me from his hospital bed were, "Rob, take care of your mom." Those are words I have never forgotten. I have not only honored them for my dad, but for my mom. I too am commanded by my Father to honor my mother and father.
"Honor your father and mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
My mom gave her life in caring for me. On my first birthday, my very first Christmas, was spent in the ICU as I was very sick with pneumonia. A little later I would burn myself with spilled coffee. A few years later I would tumble down many stairs and once again spent time in the hospital. 
I remember all the times I was sick and could feel my mom's hand brush against my forehead as she checked for fever. All the times she must have stayed up all night as I was sick. 
When I was little she would pour me a bowl of Raisin Bran. I loved it. Only I didn't like the raisins. She would take t…