Skip to main content

Do you hear that drip?

"A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping." Proverbs 19:13

"Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman." Proverbs 21:9

"Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman." Proverbs 21:19

"It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman." Proverbs 26:24


Wow, know anyone like the women these scriptures are speaking of? Hello? I think I could very well be in the mix of these women pushing my husband in the corner or down right out the door. Yikes! Ladies, we do this without thinking. We have our busy days. We are exhausted. Stress is at it's highest and what do we do? We hit our husbands with everything as soon as they walk through the door. What are they to do? No wonder so many want to just turn around and go back to work.

I have heard men say before, "I would rather spend my time at work than come home and listen to my wife complain." How sad for a man to feel this way. Now, we are not talking about us right now. Let's focus on them for once, shall we? Ladies, every time a wife nags her husband she is saying, she is more important. Her criticisms and blames only say, "I don't trust you." When our husbands feel respected, they lead. When they feel love, they move heaven and earth for you. May we show the same deep love we receive from our Father and trust God in all those situations. Not driving us to nag, but to simply go to our knees.

As a stay home mom for twenty years now, I have had days where I just wanted to scream. Is that to say my husband hasn't? We say, "I want him to help me more. I want him to do more. I want...I want...." Do we ever wonder how our husbands feel? They are gone at work daily. Why? To provide for the family they love. I cannot imagine all my husband has been through or seen as he has traveled across the United States. One thing I know for sure. He missed out on a lot. He missed things he wished he could have been here for. While he was working daily, I was here seeing the blessings of our children unfold before my eyes. Of course, I could share with him, but it simply isn't the same.

So many times when we are stressed and mad as all get out who do we blame? The one who isn't there. We blame the one we love. The one closest to us. Why? Many times our husbands are an easy target. We make them lists. We charge with our to-do's without thought about what they might want to add. What happens? Well, after working all week, the weekend comes and we are ready for them to mow the yard, fix the faucet, paint the house and watch the kids. You think maybe they are just as tired as we are? It is so easy for us to say, "Gosh, I wish you would do more." Do we ever think they might be thinking the same thing? We complain about all the help we need and are not getting, but do we ever put ourselves in their position? Really, a dripping faucet? How irritating is that sound? We try to rest and that drip drives us crazy. I hate to think I have ever been that irritating drip to my husband.

I know it was always harder for my husband to express himself. He had so many emotions going on and while he was trying his best to care for his family, he was holding all that inside so I didn't see it. After twenty years of marriage we have learned to communicate. We have learned we speak a different language. I am blessed to say our marriage is better than ever, but it took us some big ups and downs to get there. I am sure as we continue to grow we will still have those enter our lives, but now we are better able to understand the other.

We can be so selfish. We can think it is simply all about us. We tend to see all we do and we want to make sure our husband knows all we have done. I know for a fact as my husband has traveled, he has only shared with me bits and pieces. I am not sure I could handle all he has witnessed.

My husband will tell you I am not a nagger. I never have been. I suppose that is one of my pet peeves. I hate seeing men degraded by their wives in front of others. If it happens in front of others we can only imagine what happens when no one is looking. I see women take the lead and simply tell their husbands how it is going to be. Sadly, these ladies are missing out on something wonderful. They are missing out on having a husband take the lead. They are missing out on watching the growth of a husband God is still molding. I too dislike our comedy shows today that share just how dumb husbands are while their wives are well, standing over them like they were children.



It's easy to do when they are at work all day. It's easy to get set in our ways with our children. Before we know it we are leaving our husbands out more and more. I think they too can feel a jealousy. Of course they know our children need their momma, but maybe, just maybe we could entrust our husbands with more. Instead of taking away and making them feel less, why not give them more and make them feel needed? Wanted?

"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear." 1 Peter 3:1-2

"Submitting to one another in the fear of the Lord. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:21-24

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs anger." Proverbs 15:1

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:10-12

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her." Proverbs 31:28

Now, I have not been that nagging wife, but I have indeed been that wife wanting to make sure my husband knew all that I did throughout the day. If the kitchen was a mess I wanted to make sure he knew how hard I worked on other projects and how much I cared for the kids. But see, he already knew that. Even though he wasn't here, he knew how hard I worked and missed out on being part of it. So, instead of making them feel as though they miss out, why not make them feel included? Give them bath night, give them the time of reading a book to the little ones. Give them room to share instead of us being ready fully loaded to bare all.

Marriage is a gift to be shared between two people who love one another. It is not all about the needs of just one, but both, coming together and finding a way in love to make each day fulfilled in joy. Our home can be filled with love, laughter and joy. We just have to work hard at giving ourselves and loving others just as Christ loves us. No regrets, only blessings. It can happen. We can be the women of God we are called to be. We can still be strong women, but may we allow our husbands to be strong and to be the men they too are called to be.

"And now abide, faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The One True Love of Alice-Ann by Eva Marie Everson

Oh, just where do I begin? This is the stuff in which great novels are made. I made my way through this richly beautiful novel turning page after page with such deep emotion and thought. I couldn't turn the pages quick enough, but I didn't want it to end to soon. It's one of those novels you could continue reading as long as there were pages. No page just made of fluff, words with no meaning on the page. Every single line in this novel created a story that will last in my heart forever. 
Ms. Everson, I am so happy stories of the war were shared with you. Oh, to have your Sunday school teacher share with you, "You can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose who you marry", is a blessing that has now enchanted your readers. What a story you have weaved together. History penned with such depth, detail, and a story that captures the heart. 
This lovely story begins in 1941. The war has started. Picture a family gathered around the Zenith to hear t…

The" I Am" Makes Us Think About What "i am"

In Genesis 1:26-27 it shares something valuable to each of us about who we are in God. We are created in His image. What I love about this verse below is that is says, "make man in OUR image". What's OUR? The trinity, God, the Holy Spirit, and Christ Jesus. Ponder that. I mean really go deep. We are make in THEIR image. 
"Then God said, "Let US make man in OUR image, according to OUR likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them."
We are His workmanship. He knew us before we were ever born. He weaved us together within the womb, but even before then He planned our life perfectly for us. That's so much to ponder isn't it? 
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared…

Unexpected Blessings

The last words my dad spoke to me from his hospital bed were, "Rob, take care of your mom." Those are words I have never forgotten. I have not only honored them for my dad, but for my mom. I too am commanded by my Father to honor my mother and father.
"Honor your father and mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
My mom gave her life in caring for me. On my first birthday, my very first Christmas, was spent in the ICU as I was very sick with pneumonia. A little later I would burn myself with spilled coffee. A few years later I would tumble down many stairs and once again spent time in the hospital. 
I remember all the times I was sick and could feel my mom's hand brush against my forehead as she checked for fever. All the times she must have stayed up all night as I was sick. 
When I was little she would pour me a bowl of Raisin Bran. I loved it. Only I didn't like the raisins. She would take t…

The Glassblower by Petra Durst-Benning

I came across this selection on Amazon. I had seen so many reviews that it intrigued me. I had never read anything from this German author. The cover caught my attention as did the description of this novel. 
It's a part of a trilogy. I am getting ready to open up book 2, The American Lady. I cannot wait to begin. I tell you this book marveled me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. What a journey into another time and place. 
We travel to Germany where this novel is set. The year is 1890 and we find ourselves in Lauscha, Germany. The author did a fantastic job at the perfect description of not only the area, but circumstance, and heart of the characters. Her writing style flows so easily that the pages almost turn themselves. 
The characters are easy to love. Three sisters who are now wondering, after their father had passed from this earth,  how they will now provide for themselves. It isn't going to be easy, but these sisters show us how to prevail over challenges that…

Of Stillness and Storm by Michele Phoenix

This is my first novel read by Michele Phoenix. I love the premise of this novel and all that she opened my eyes to. We always hear of the 'calling' by missionaries. We want to go where God calls us. We want to make a difference. 
To be called by God isn't the same for every soul. We all fit differently into His plan. Our walk with Him isn't ALL we do for His name, but our relationship with Him, our intimate journey with our Savior. 
This novel is raw and transparent. For me, it was the journey of Lauren. We see that her husband feels called to work in Nepal and with the people, but we really don't read about much of his personal journey. 
Their son, Ryan, is struggling. We can see through the conversations he has with his parents that he is truly unhappy. We see the fall, but we don't really get a close glimpse into his heart. 
It is with Lauren that we journey. She feels alone and lost. Through her words we can 'feel' the pain in her heart. She is br…