Saturday, February 13, 2010


It has become that time of year again. February 14th is here. It happens to be my anniversary. A day that my husband and I celebrated our wedding vows together. I am blessed to have an amazing, loving husband, but ladies let us be real for a moment. How many of holidays have you spent the day crying? How many have you waited for that little box to appear and it is no where in sight? How many times have you wished you could be the girl in the commercial on the romantic date, flowers in hand, lovely dinner just for two, and a carriage ride home?

Our lives are not always a Hallmark card. It is about two or three weeks before the holiday and all the commercials are out, the ads are placed in the paper, the flower shops are advertising, and that's just it, its advertising. It is one of those days in that money is to be made off our feelings. It is when men go out and stand at the card aisle for an hour trying to pick out a card. It is when ladies are at home wishing and daydreaming about how they hope the day will be.

But what happens when it is not? What happens when all the daydreaming doesn't bring home a dozen roses, and a diamond ring?

I have to be honest and say I use to get caught up in this holiday. I let all the ads get to me, I let the world try to tell me if your husband loves you he is going to bring home for you the gift of all gifts. I spent myself a many days crying when those things had not appeared.

Don't get me wrong. I have an amazing husband. I have had beautiful gifts that have lit a fire under my feet, and a stirring in my heart. Last year my husband made me a card, a handwritten card. I have to tell you that was the most meaningful card he has ever given me. I have had the dazzling gifts, the dinners, and the fun nights out.

But after 19 years I have learned what love is. I have learned it is not those fancy dinners, and diamond earrings. It is not the box of chocolate and the yellow roses. It is loving me when I am not lovable. It is picking me flowers out in the field. It is being a father to our children and sacrificing sleep to provide for us. It is seeing my husband in pain, but getting up to go out and cut wood anyway. It is seeing my husband leave for days, working out in the cold, doing a job that he doesn't like and is unsafe to meet our needs. It is my husband taking car of my car, filling it with gas and checking everything for my safety. It has been those nights he sat with me while I was having a panic attack. Having him hold my hand while I was being prepared for surgery. Doing the dishes and laundry for me when I cannot get up out of bed. Placing his hand upon my head when a migraine is so unbearable the tears are falling.

There is nothing my husband could buy for me to show me he loves me more than him living it daily in our lives. No gift could ever take the place of his hand in mine. No flower can say I love you more than him walking in the door, cold, muddy, and tired after a day of work.

Love is action, love is unspoken words, love is just a look, love is knowing the other better than yourself. Just laying next to my husband while he is watching television and I have a book in my hand, feeling his presence with me is special. It's him fixing dinner and me doing the dishes. Its his words of encouragement and even his words of wisdom I at times don't want to hear. Its when you have a dollar in your pocket and you give it to your wife for a soda. Its when you smile at her from across the room, letting her know she's beautiful.

Love is not what this world tries to impose on us every year. Gifts are wonderful, but the action of love is more meaningful. I want to receive love everyday, not just on one throughout the year. Love should be celebrated daily through our words and our actions.

We all know what love is not, but I think we can forget what love is. We can begin to expect more, wish for more, when right in front of us is the love that God has chosen for us. Love grows and changes over years. Love increases by giving yourself to the other.

When my husband goes to pick out yarn for me, when he has purchased tampons for me, when he is willing to go the extra mile he is showing me love. When he loves our children, when he gives of himself unselfishly that is real love.

Don't allow a commercial or an ad to take away from your love. Let your love begin in your heart and grow in your actions.

We are blessed with a loving God who gave us the perfect picture of what love is. He has given us the most beautiful love letter we will ever pick up. God has shown us through His actions what real love is, now may we follow Him in giving of our love to another. Everything comes down to love, and without love we have nothing. So today my friend you are not without love, for we have a God who has given His life for you. There is no love greater than His. Grab His love letter and open your heart while you read the words He has just for you. His love sets us free, and in His love we find love for those around us, for His love is perfect.

1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."


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