Friday, January 8, 2010

free to be me

It has taken me to grow into my forties to really show me its okay to be me. I don't have to fit the mold of any other, I don't have to fit into a circle, and I don't have to worry if one will like me and wonder why they do not. I think we spend so much time trying to be people pleasers, people who want to be surrounded by others, people who are striving so hard to fit in somewhere that we lose sight of who we really are. And it is who we really are inside, who God created us to be, that will set us apart, that will allow His glory to shine through. I remember growing up and not really fitting into any one group of friends, or the stereotypes that we set. I just had friends all over, I just loved meeting new people, being around those who were different, not those who all wanted to be the same. I have spent my life trying to find me, and to find me, I first had to seek Jesus, for its through Him, that I can then see who I am and all He has set before me. Have you heard people say," I am just trying to find myself"? We can search our whole lives trying to find ourselves, trying to figure out just who we are and what we are to be doing. For me, I found myself searching in the wrong places, that wasn't allowing me to seek, it was keeping me still, keeping me trapped and going in circles. But no one could show me, no one could teach me, I thought I knew everything. Don't we all go through that stage in life, where the wisdom of others seems like foolishness to us? I had to find out for myself, search for myself, and in that searching, that real searching, is where I found Jesus. He had been there the whole time, I just wasn't paying attention. It is when we have seemed to lost all, have lost our way, and when we least expect to see anything, at that moment is when Jesus shows up, showing Himself to us. Its when we finally take our eyes off our self, our plans, and our wants that we can see His. Too often we don't want to see His, for we are afraid of change, we are fearful of the unfamiliar. But to really find ourselves, we have to face our fears, we have realize our plan isn't the best, but His is. We have to face our choices, our past, and come to terms with just maybe our wisdom isn't what we thought it was, and open our eyes to the wisdom of God. When we give our hearts to Him, He meets us right there where we are. We don't have to change first, we don't have to have all the answers, we just have to be willing to follow, be willing to listen and be willing to on an adventure, its on this great journey with Him, that each step, each little rock we step on across that creek, those little stepping stones, that shows us the depth of His love and the beginning of ours. I am blessed to have a family, and friends who allow me to be me. They love me when I am soaring and when I am stumbling over my own feet. They are my encouragement. But it is the Lord who leads my way, who lights my path and has set me free. Whatever path you are on today you can find each step with Him, He will show you who He has created you to be and you can joy in that, joy in knowing you are like no other. Don't try to be someone your not, our past does not define us, but it is part of who we are, and we can look back, gain from those times, and move to look forward, to a future surrounded by His love. You hear people while young say, "I always want to stay young, I never want to get old." I use to think that, but now, I know with each passing year, my life is bringing me to who He created me to be. As the gray hair begins to peek out, I am excited to see what is to come. The Lord changed my life forever, He opened my world up to seeing in a different light, seeing with different eyes and realizing my life is not my own, but His. So today I praise Him for making me, for giving me life and for walking with me each step of the way. It does take time to find ourselves, its not over night, it is a journey, a walk, and with the Lord's wisdom and love, He is showing me more of myself each day as I seek Him.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Psalm 25:4-5 "Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths, lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; On You I will wait all the day."


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