Monday, September 7, 2009

seeing with a new vision

This week has been a long one for me, and even longer for my mom. She had her eye surgery, and so far so good. She has had some pain, but she is hanging in there. My mom amazes me. She is one of those ladies who never complain, who never want to ask for help, for she is afraid it will bring inconvience to another. When my mom wakes every morning she is in pain all over her body. At seventy-one she is feeling her age tremendously. With every gray hair upon her head has been a year she has traveled this road before her without any complaints. I have been amazed by her while I have been trying to care for her. I watch her get up daily and find something to be blessed about. She doesn't let her sickness get her down. She doesn't allow the pain to become who she is. While we were at the doctor's office waiting, we sat next to a little lady just a few years older than my mom. She looked so sweet and she was soft spoken in her speech. As she sat next to my mom, I sat in the floor listening. As they talked I found out the little woman was blind in one eye, and was about to lose the other. She spoke about not wanting to leave her home, because she knew where everything was, and didn't want to be a burden to her son. She may have to go to a home for senior saints if she loses her other eye. As they sat sharing their stories, nothing came from them that said, "Poor, poor me." They in turn lifted one another up, and I heard the little woman say, "I sure do find myself praying alot, and thats what keeps me going." I was so touched by their conversation. Here sat two ladies who have gone through so much, and neither of them are complaining, just sharing and understanding one another. They were giving each other their time and sharing their hearts wide open full of love. So many times we have our pity parties, and think we have it so rough, but in reality, there are others around us who are hurting so much more. Hearing these ladies speak spoke so much of their character, of their faith, and the ability to see blessings around them even though they are losing their sight day by day. The more they are losing their sight the more they are seeing just how beautiful life is. We tend to take so much for granit. Our health, our families, our neighbors, our church, all the things that we use each day, the things big and small. We just assume our mom will be there tomorrow, we just assume our husband will come home from work, we assume our child is safe at school. We assume so much, and we tend to stay in our little box, not thinking of others, since it has nothing to do with me. As my daughter works at a nursing home, she knows which people have family come and which ones have no one. I cannot imagine the pain of being in a nursing home and having no one to come and see me. I cannot imagine the pain they must feel. We don't have to have sight to see beauty around us. We just need to open our hearts, minds and souls to all around us. At times I do get very tired after taking care of my mom. I must be honest and say it is not easy at times, but I would do anything for my mom at any cost. Of all the things I have to do here at home, and taking care of my mom adds on to the tiredness I feel. But I have to be honest and say it is all worth it. Everytime I help my mom I see the love in her eyes, the thank you, the comfort knowing I am there for her. She has been there for me for forty-two years now, and has given me all she has to give, it is now my turn to care for my mom. The tables have turned, and although it is tiring, the blessings override that triplefold. I want to have a heart like them, I want to speak the words the little woman spoke at the doctor's office. I want to be that example to others in my path. So many times I fail at being the example, but I cannot give up, I cannot have myself a pity party, I need to keep pushing forward, keep my eyes focused where they need to be and pray alot just like the little woman said. Jesus is the One who keeps us going, with His strength and His grace we can move forward knowing He is there for us every step of the way. Can you close your eyes, and find a name on your heart who needs a touch from the Savior? Can you close your eyes and see just all that Christ has given you? There are those days where we just need to close our eyes and allow Christ to show us through His eyes just where are blessings are, and who we need to bless.


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