Skip to main content

Can you say no and mean it?

Have you ever thought about  how many times we have said to our children, "Don't tell me no"? Think about it. We tell our children not to tell us no, but then again we teach them to be yes people. Not so much through our words, but through our actions. This can be a vicious cycle and a message that can get out of hand.

We ask people, "Well, don't you know what no means?" We expect them to answer with a mighty and humble, yes. But in teaching no, do we ourselves teach the correct form of no? We teach our daughters to say no to young men, but in our daily lives we are constantly teaching them to say yes so we can be accepted and liked by all around us. Isn't that a mixed up message? For instance, we teach them to say no to a young man's advances, but when Ms. Julie calls and wants us to help at the bake sale when we know we cannot, we smile and say, "Of course, I will be there to help in any way I can." We teach no, but we continue to say, yes, even when we don't want to.

The older I get the easier it is for me to say no. I was one of those yes girls who didn't want to make anyone mad and I had the thinking as a Christian that if there was a job to do the Lord wanted me to say yes to everything. That simply isn't true. There are a lot of things He wants us to say no to. If we didn't say no to some jobs there wouldn't be room for others to receive a hearty yes. We say yes when the Holy Spirit prompts us to say yes. We don't say yes out of guilt or thinking a good Christian must say yes to everything.

We give our children a mixed message about saying no. On one hand we teach them to stand up for themselves and say no, but on the other we teach them to say yes because that is just what Christians do. We give until we have nothing left to give. I don't see that is what Christ wants from us. He doesn't want us to be run down Christians only saying yes for all the wrong reasons. He wants us to say yes with passion and be on fire for all He has for us. If we are run down and give out we aren't going to have the energy to give our very best.

Have you ever said yes to something, only later wishing you would have said no? We almost use no as it is a bad word in the Christian language. Let me make it easy for you. It's okay to say, NO! When you say no, stand in your no decision and be positive. When you say yes, do so with a passion and a knowledge that you are to move forward with that yes.

We cannot teach our children to say no if we are unable to do so ourselves. It is that very no that can protect them and give them power. Our children will ask us a question and we say, no. They ask again and again. Instead of us continuing our no answer, we give in and say yes. What is this teaching them? Do you know what happens next? We get mad because we have now said yes!

We cannot teach our children there is a double standard to saying no. No is no! This is why no one listens when no is said any longer. So friends, lets learn to say no and teach our children that no is not a bad word. We too can share that when God says no, He isn't turning away from us, but giving a yes for us in the future. We can teach that the word no can be positive.

"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough." Josh Billings

"Learn to say “no.” It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin." Charles H. Spurgeon


Popular posts from this blog

The Illusionist's Apprentice by Kristy Cambron

I want to begin this review sharing two reviews I was blessed to do. The Butterfly and The Violinand A Sparrow in Terezin. For me these two novels were masterpieces. Works of such exquisite beauty. They showed that Kristy Cambron is gifted with the pen, a master storyteller. They remain two of my all-time top favorites. 
It was for this reason I was thrilled to be receiving a copy of The Illusionist's Apprentice. Once again Cambron shows us a masterpiece of bringing a story to readers that speaks of faith and our Lord. Although throughout the novel these aspects are not boldly proclaimed, but are masterfully weaved throughout the story. 
Magic and illusion are not the same. I love how she brings this truth. Love that the main character was an apprentice to the master of illusion. She takes the use of being an apprentice and walks that road with integrity and hope. When we choose to walk with Christ we are His apprentices. We are to walk as the main character, Wren Lockhart walked…

The One True Love of Alice-Ann by Eva Marie Everson

Oh, just where do I begin? This is the stuff in which great novels are made. I made my way through this richly beautiful novel turning page after page with such deep emotion and thought. I couldn't turn the pages quick enough, but I didn't want it to end to soon. It's one of those novels you could continue reading as long as there were pages. No page just made of fluff, words with no meaning on the page. Every single line in this novel created a story that will last in my heart forever. 
Ms. Everson, I am so happy stories of the war were shared with you. Oh, to have your Sunday school teacher share with you, "You can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose who you marry", is a blessing that has now enchanted your readers. What a story you have weaved together. History penned with such depth, detail, and a story that captures the heart. 
This lovely story begins in 1941. The war has started. Picture a family gathered around the Zenith to hear t…

The" I Am" Makes Us Think About What "i am"

In Genesis 1:26-27 it shares something valuable to each of us about who we are in God. We are created in His image. What I love about this verse below is that is says, "make man in OUR image". What's OUR? The trinity, God, the Holy Spirit, and Christ Jesus. Ponder that. I mean really go deep. We are make in THEIR image. 
"Then God said, "Let US make man in OUR image, according to OUR likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them."
We are His workmanship. He knew us before we were ever born. He weaved us together within the womb, but even before then He planned our life perfectly for us. That's so much to ponder isn't it? 
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared…

The Glassblower by Petra Durst-Benning

I came across this selection on Amazon. I had seen so many reviews that it intrigued me. I had never read anything from this German author. The cover caught my attention as did the description of this novel. 
It's a part of a trilogy. I am getting ready to open up book 2, The American Lady. I cannot wait to begin. I tell you this book marveled me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. What a journey into another time and place. 
We travel to Germany where this novel is set. The year is 1890 and we find ourselves in Lauscha, Germany. The author did a fantastic job at the perfect description of not only the area, but circumstance, and heart of the characters. Her writing style flows so easily that the pages almost turn themselves. 
The characters are easy to love. Three sisters who are now wondering, after their father had passed from this earth,  how they will now provide for themselves. It isn't going to be easy, but these sisters show us how to prevail over challenges that…

Unexpected Blessings

The last words my dad spoke to me from his hospital bed were, "Rob, take care of your mom." Those are words I have never forgotten. I have not only honored them for my dad, but for my mom. I too am commanded by my Father to honor my mother and father.
"Honor your father and mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
My mom gave her life in caring for me. On my first birthday, my very first Christmas, was spent in the ICU as I was very sick with pneumonia. A little later I would burn myself with spilled coffee. A few years later I would tumble down many stairs and once again spent time in the hospital. 
I remember all the times I was sick and could feel my mom's hand brush against my forehead as she checked for fever. All the times she must have stayed up all night as I was sick. 
When I was little she would pour me a bowl of Raisin Bran. I loved it. Only I didn't like the raisins. She would take t…