Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Although you may never read these words I know they are here. They are words that I have written to you over the years as I became a mother of my own children. I don't think I ever quite knew all you were and are until I was blessed with my first child. Oh, the years I must have taken all you did for granted. Your love and support. Yes, your advice, your wisdom and even your correction.

Oh, the times I thought you were wrong. Oh, the times I thought I knew more than you. Today I can get so aggravated at your stubbornness, but I am sure you wish you could still put me over your knee. As your love for me was and is unconditional I am sure I tried your patience as a teenager.

As I hold my own grand daughter and sing her to sleep, I can only dream of how it must have been for you and me. I remember you singing, Loretta Lynn, songs in my childhood. You carried within you the voice of an angel. I can only imagine the nights you held me ever so close as I coughed throughout the night. How you must have watched every move I made and how you were terrified as I fell below you down the stairs right before your eyes, trying with all your might to catch me. All the hospital stays and skinned knees.

I can look back now and see all those sacrifices you made. I can see all the time you spent in the kitchen and making sure I had a snack when I came home. Up before dawn and in bed after dad and I were tucked in. Even during my teenage nightmares as I screamed in the dark of the night you would come lay with me until I fell back asleep. I know you did without so that I could have. How do I know? You do the same now. You give and give until there is nothing left to give, but the love of your heart.

As I look back now I can close my eyes and find myself at home. I can smell biscuits and gravy, fried potatoes and bacon. I can see our home that you made complete with all your love. I can hear you saying, "Come on, Rob, it's ready." Of course, dad, would beat me to the table, but I can see it all so clearly. When I am feeling bad or just having one of those moments of sadness I can close my eyes and wish myself home once again. Home where I felt loved and safe. Home where the sights and sounds can bring fresh tears as I just think back to a time when all just seemed right and simple.

It wasn't though. Times where hard. They always were, but you kept me safe from all that. I was a sheltered child who didn't have a care in the world except to get on my bike and ride until dinner. You sheltered me with your love and tenderness. My childhood wasn't perfect, but it was pretty close. You gave all you had each and every day. You made being a mother look easy. You made being a mother look fun. I never heard you complain. You sang each day whether the sun was out or not. No matter what, I knew without a doubt that my mom was always there for me as you still are today.

Thank you, Mom, for all that was unseen. Thank you for all you have done that I will never even know. For all the times you told me, "It's gonna be okay." I am grateful for you, Mom and all the countless ways you showed me how to be a mom.

I love you


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