Friday, January 28, 2011

What if?

Oh, how many times do we say, "If I had only....?" Those what if's add up surmountable in our lives. I could probably wrap my what if's around the world and tie them in a knot. That's what my stomach feels like at times. Like it is in a knot.

I know, I have let the past go. But yes, I still pick it up those what if's from time to time. Maybe "What if" is a catch phrase Satan uses to tie us in knots keeping us from being set free. A sweet friend, Eleanor Denise Irving made a statement today. Don't wait until your loved one's casket is ordered to bring them flowers. Don't kiss their cheek when it is cold. Don't wait until its too late to say how much you love them. Don't wait until they are gone to forgive them. Bring them flowers NOW! Kiss their cheek NOW! Tell them how much you love them NOW! Forgive them NOW!

What an impact those words can make on our hearts if we only take our eyes off ourselves and put others before us. We let birthdays pass by, holidays, and ceremonies. Day after day we let pass without a word of love or encouragement.  We allow stuff to control our time. We are busy with what we want to be busy with. Simple as that. I call my mom everyday. I know how blessed my mom is when she hears my voice. If it is only to just say, "Mom how are you feeling? Do you need anything?" She knows I am thinking of her. It warms her heart and mine just to hear her voice.

I just had a birthday pass by and I will share with you although it was an awesome birthday I carried hurt in my heart. Whether selfish or not it was still there. My mom made my day when she got me an ice cream cake. It happened to be my first one. My husband and son made me feel so very loved. Friends made my birthday one I will never forget. Even though my day was blessed it still hurt because of the ones who were not there. The ones I did not receive a call from. I kept waiting to hear from them, but I never did. I wondered if I would see them. But I never did. It was like it was just another day. To me it was a special day. Do you have those days? You know them. Those days where you wait for a call, a gift, or just a hug. I think we all do. I mean who do we want to be with when something special happens? Those very people we love.

I know, some of you might be thinking, "Gosh, Rob, you should just be thankful for those who did make your day special." I am grateful. My heart was overflowing with love. I had a friend, Sandra, just completely make my day beautiful with her thoughtful ways.  But I think you know how I feel. I try so hard to make others feel special. I try to let others know just how much I love them. When that isn't returned it hurts. It down right stinks. All we really want is to be loved and accepted.

I guess I learned at a young age with losing my dad to cancer never to take one person for granted. Never to let a birthday or any day go by without letting someone know how you feel. We often think it's no big deal. We use the excuse that we are so busy and don't have time. Why do we wait until it is too late? Is it really so hard to say, "I'm sorry or I forgive you"? How many times do we have the chance to open up and say, "I love you", but we let it pass? We just think assume they know. But many times they just don't know. Let me be honest. When we don't hear it we miss it. When we don't hear it we think we are forgotten. It is just a blessing to hear from those you love.

My husband texted me from work this morning to say, "I love you." That made my day! You should have seen the smile on my face. My son tells me everyday he loves me.  I cannot change my past regrets, but I can let them go and move forward today making a change. A change at never taking one day for granted ever again. At the end of my life I don't want to look back and have a list of "What if's."

What about you? Is there someone who has been waiting to hear, "I'm so sorry?" Maybe someone in you life needs to know how much you really do love them. Hearing I love you is priceless. There is no greater gift than giving our time. I mean, think about it. What are you thankful for? Too often we allow the things of this world to far out way the people in our lives. Does no one think it is meaningful to spend time with others anymore?

So why share that? I wish my dad was here for Sunday dinners. I miss those very dinners I took for granted as a kid. We just really never think. We spend time doing what we want to spend time doing. I think of the elderly folks in the nursing homes that fill our country. Some get visitors daily while others have no one. Their families don't even want to be bothered with knowing when they pass. My friends that is sad.

We are so self involved that we simply don't take the time to think about others. We show up at funerals and think, "Wow, when was the last time I saw them?" We sit and ponder over what we talked about last and how much we miss them. We wonder where we should send flowers to or if we should send food.  Instead, what if we could show up having peace in our heart knowing we gave our time and our heart? We should live our life with no regrets. None.

Don't allow today to pass without letting go of self and reaching out to someone you love. Someone who loves you. Someone who wants to spend time with you. It is an honor to have someone say, "I want to spend time with you." Why is it so easy for us to say, "I'm busy." What if we lived in such a way that we thought about life with meaning and purpose? What if we woke each day wondering who we could bless? What if we gave more and took less? What if we simply just let stuff go and let others know? Now there are some what if's to ponder.


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