Saturday, June 5, 2010

on our way back

I get to kiss my husband as he walks out the door each day now. Each day he wakes, gets ready, and leaves for work. For us, this is a blessing that has not been for almost two years. It is has been quite a struggle for our family. Although we were never alone, it was a struggle none the less. Not working, and having no income, but the challenges of watching your husband go from soaring to depression.
For a man, working and providing is a way, the way, he shows his love to his wife and children. When that is taken away, those days where smiles once grew, now became a face that looked empty. I watched my husband struggle each day looking for work. I prayed for him as he cried out to God in the silence of the night.

But God did a work in my husband those days he was laid off. As he was waiting for the job to come, any job, God had one waiting for him at just the right time, at the right place. Is it a perfect job? No. Is it dangerous? Yes. But God provided a way and we are on our way back.

It's like traveling down a country road that twists and turns and you never think it's going to end. All those steep hills you must climb, brings you again to the valleys of low. It seems you are never just on a straight path ahead, but isn't life just like this? For each road we are on, God makes His imprints. He guides the way through the dark when we cannot see. He gives peace in those moments we cannot understand.

Each day was a challenge of some sort. Life is difficult anyway, but without a job, that is an added struggle. We have been there before, but not quite this long. We have prepared ourselves in the past, just as we did this time around. But after a while your finances run out, and you are at a loss, but I can say, there was never a day where the Lord did not provide for us. Family, friends, and our church made life more blessed just by being there. Just by calling, reaching out, and praying. All those checks in the mail, well, they came at just the right time. We are so very blessed to be surrounded by people who love us.

For the longest time I was growing bitter. I was angry at the world. I thought, "Why God, why are things not the way I want them?" Pride is ugly. Pride will eat you alive, and through these trials God not only brought peace, but He brought humility. Being humble is not an easy thing. You learn your wants are not so important, and you learn what really is important. It's not the things we can gather, it is nothing money can buy. It is love, family, friends, and most of all God. You find out who your real friends are, but more so, you find out who you really are. And on this road God has brought change to our lives. He has grown us through this trial.

As we are on our way back, we will never forget where we have been. Each time we thought a bill would not get paid, it did. Each time I had to go to the doctor or hospital, God made a way. Yes, there were many things we did without, but we found that life was still life without them, and you learned that all those things you once thought you couldn't live without are not really needed. You learn to reach out more.

It doesn't matter if you are wealthy or poor, life is still sweet, and even sweeter with the Lord. I can be honest and say, I don't understand how people do it, each day without the Lord, for each day we called upon Him and He answered. He gave us strength, love and support. He lifted our spirits and showed us what home really is. It's not what's in your home, it's who is in your home, and our home is filled with Jesus. He is the One who makes all the difference.

As we are on our way, catching up, we know to just live in each day, not counting on tomorrow. We know it can happen again, and now we are more blessed than ever to have seen God move in a new way, a new light each day in our lives.

Thank You Lord, for bringing us through, blessing us in, and showing us a life with You is all we need.
Psalm 118:1 "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever."
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