Thursday, May 13, 2010

what? it doesn't work?

Tuesday I woke up, came and checked our mail, cleaned a little, and when I came back our computer was not working. Total panic came over me. I searched, tried and tried, and couldn't find the problem. So I am thinking its the modem, yep, that's what it has to be. So for the next two days I have been like a mad woman on a mission. Yes, this girl went on a cleaning spree! I have cleaned my house top to bottom, read two books and am ready to write the reviews. I was so motivated! I looked around and had seen all the things that needed done, and did them with a smile.
At first I must say being without the computer was a shock to my system. Really, I think I have become an addict. This computer as become a drug. I wake to it and I go to bed to it. I kept thinking I must write, I must check my mail, and all those things. Well, you know what? After that first day, I didn't miss it anymore! I figured out all the stuff I was missing out on just being on the computer.

See, I think I am going to get on and get all my stuff accomplished and get off, but its like a drug, calling my name, and what do I do? I answer by getting back on, repeatedly throughout the day.

Today, we figured out it wasn't the modem. It was our phone jack. Just a little wire came undone, and we fixed it within minutes. I did this little dance and just knew God was showing me more than just how to fix a small problem. He was showing me my big problem. He has shown me in these two days that I don't have to get on this computer daily. He showed me there are things much more important. He showed me spending time with Him when I wake and when I go to bed it what is important.

See, I found myself at the end of the day thinking, "Wow, where did the day go, and look at all the stuff I still need to do." Well, my friends, it wasn't all I had to do that was keeping me busy. It was this computer in front of me.

Thank God for showing us lessons learned before its too late. I think you are going to see a little less of me. I will still write each day, but all the other activities on the computer will begin slow down. I don't need to know what all my friends are doing daily on Face Book. I think they will get along just great without me. I don't have to go to each site and see whats new. I need to begin looking at what's in front of me again. I have been missing out on what is right here.

This computer has held me captive for a long time now, and this girl is throwing away the chains. I know what is important and some how this thing has taken over my life little by little. Writing is still such a passion of mine, but all else on the computer is not of such importance as I once thought two days ago.

I love these aha moments God gives us. I love these little lessons that teach so much. I don't need to know what everyone else is doing daily. I need to focus on what I am doing daily. God has called me to write, not to be one with this computer. Somehow within my passion, all the other stuff came in and drowned out all the rest around me.

So, as God shows me who I am, and I keep growing in Him, pray for me as I pray for you. I am blessed to have so many come into my life and bless me in ways I could never have imagined, but there are times we need to back away from those very things that are taking hold of us. Addiction come in many ways, and creeps into our lives little by little.

I have friends who work with computers daily, and they go home and want nothing to do with them. I have friends who are writers and the computer is part of their life. Just as with this passion the Lord has given, I too will write, but with a new found look on each day. God has restored what He has placed in my heart, and has opened my eyes to all I need to let go of to move forward for Him.

Ever been there with me? Ever look around and see all that you have missed? No more for this girl. I am thankful for the passions the Lord has given me, but today I am seeing with new eyes. So I think as this journey continues you will see more of my heart and passion and a little less of me. Sometimes, less is more:) Those roses are not in bloom forever, you just gotta smell the sweetness while they are right there!
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