Friday, March 5, 2010

why oh why

Have you ever asked yourself, "Why?" I don't think there is a human being alive that has never asked, "Why". When our children are young, that is one of the first words they ask, "Why Momma?" And it doesn't just stop there, it keeps going, even after you have answered twenty times! If you have pets, you can even see the look of "Why" in their eyes when your leaving without them.

Why is just one of those questions we seem to ask others too. We want to know why something happened, or why something didn't happen. Why seems to answer things for us. But what happens when there is no answer for why?

When I was little, I remember asking why my great grandmother died. My mom didn't really have an answer except for, "She was just old honey." When our Labrador was hit by a car, my son asked, "Why mom?" Kids are great at asking the question of "Why", but as adults we too seem to love asking. Although being adults now, we know there is not always an answer, but we still expect one.

I have cried out asking why many times. When my dad died, when my mom began getting ill, when my girls left home, when Steve lost his job, when my migraines never cease to end, when someone just pulls out in front of me, when I see an accident or when a friend finds out she has cancer, the "Whys" just seem to come. My "Why" questions would take up this whole page if I wrote each one down.

I think God expects us to ask Him why things happen. I have learned that by asking Him the question of why, I may not find the immediate answer, or the answer I am looking for, but He does give me an answer. Sometimes, He may just say, "Trust Me", "Be Still", and "Have Faith". When I ask God questions, it does not mean a lack of faith, if anything it increases my faith. When I have that communication with Him, I know He is listening. Just like when my kids asked, "Why" over and over again. They knew I was listening and they trusted my answer. Since they trusted me they kept asking those "Why" questions, mommy would know. But even if mommy didn't know, mommy could always make it seem that things were gonna be okay. Sometimes I had to answer them and say, "I really don't know", or "Just hold on and we will see why." Although we may not understand the "Why"of everything, we have a God who does. Can you imagine how many times He has been asked "Why?" If He revealed that answer to us all the time, every time we asked, would our faith grow? God is not a genie in a bottle. And like that little fat guy, we can't just rub His belly for our wishful answer. We must learn to trust and here is where that patience thing comes in, we wait. But while we wait, we must trust, and obey. In trusting Him, we give Him all our fears, our guilt, our emptiness, our anger and doubt. We open our hearts to Him and know without a doubt that whatever that "Why" is, He has a reason and purpose.

Kind of like having a surprise party. If your the guest, you don't want to know everything detail and all the planning. You don't want to know what your friends and family have under that wrapping paper. If we did, wouldn't that take the blessing away? Sometimes its the details we want to know, but in our lives its those very details that are leading up to something big.

I know the first time I knew just how severe my migraines were, I asked, "Why me?" I have since learned not to ask," Why me", but,"Why not me?" Would I really want someone else to experience them? No. In asking, "Why me", that brings the question to, "Why not someone else?" I have grown in the pain of my migraines, I have strengthened through my trials, and God has revealed many things to me, some He has not. But I am trusting in Him with all those "Whys". He knows the answer, and sometimes it is better that I do not know them. As long as He knows I need to be content with that. I need to keep asking Him questions because it is through those questions that I learn more about Him and myself.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
1 Corinthians 2:10-13 "But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the Spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."


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