Thursday, March 4, 2010

letting go of fear

Yesterday I had to go to the doctor for something fearful to me. Although I am stilling waiting for more tests, the doctor is pretty sure things are okay. You know the thing that gives me the most fear? Waiting, waiting and waiting. It is in that time period of waiting that all the thoughts come into your head, and the fear can begin to get the best of you.

If you know your body, you know when something is just not right. That is how I feel. It took me three months to get into this clinic. Now it will take another two months for another test needed.

Yesterday my husband wanted to go with me. He is always there to hold my hand when I am scared. But I just wanted to go alone. I wanted that time in the car to pray, to have quiet and just think. When I got into the car the new song from Carrie Underwood came on, "This is not my home." I reminded myself that no matter what happened or happens this is not my home! That brought comfort to me. I was also reminded of a time a few years back when I was sitting waiting for the results of a test and I could feel the Lord's presence with me. I said to the Lord that day, "No matter what happens today I will still serve and love You." Ya know, no matter what happens God is still God. That never changes. My life is still in His hands whether I am healthy or sick, which if you know me, my health is one fast roller coaster.

A friend texted me a message while I was waiting. It said, "You are special, you are a child of the King of kings!" After I had spent the whole time driving over in prayer, I was still nervous. But when this text came, it gave me more reassurance that I was God's child. There was nothing going to change that either way. That friend blessed me more than she realized.

I have only shared with a few my fears with my health. Those that reached back to me filled my life with such joy. They were being used by God to lift me up. Isn't is great how God sends those special people in your life that are always there for you no matter what?

As I came home last night my fears were gone. I had peace in my heart. I didn't have a peace cause I know everything is okay, because I do not know that yet, but I had a peace knowing no matter what comes God is with me. The Savior who saved me, who gave His life for me is still standing in the gap for me. My life is in His hands, and I gotta tell ya, there is no other I would trust more!

If you are going through something, please know your fears are not going to change anything. Fear is not going to add a day to your life. If anything it will take a day away, wasted on thoughts of fear, filling your burden even more.

When we learn to let go, to really trust the God we believe in, He washes us with a peace of knowing whatever the day brings He is with us. For me, knowing that is enough.

There is so much I cannot control in my life. God always knows best, and it has been through my trials that I learned more about His grace and love. There is no hand bigger than His, and our hand fits perfectly in our Father's hand. There is no touch that can bring healing other than His. Whether there is healing here on this earth or in heaven, I trust in Him.

When we let go of fear, we give room for faith and trust. When we let go of fear, we give God room to do His work. It is in our trials, those moments facing us that we are so unsure of that others see how we react. They see if our faith is real and deep down, or if its just on the outside.

Whatever you are facing today my friend, know that you can find peace in Christ Jesus. You can find comfort in His love. We find out just where our faith is when questions come, when trials strike. I pray you find that your faith is strong in the God who can move mountains.

Lord, thank You for showing Yourself to me yesterday. Thank You for seeing me through the day, and giving me all I needed. I thank the friend who texted me with words I needed to hear.

For things in life that are all bigger than me I know I never have to face them alone, I have the God who is bigger than all on my side!

2 Corinthians 13:5a "Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?"

Ephesians 1:13-14 "In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in who also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory."

Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."


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