Sunday, March 21, 2010

learning to say no

I have always been one of those yes girls. You know what I am talking about. Someone asks you to do something and you will not dare say no. Why? Someone might get mad, upset and oh, my, not talk to you! That comes from having the people pleaser syndrome. I have been a long time member. A card carrying member that always said yes.
I have a sweet friend who has spent much time trying to teach me to say no, and ya know, I am finally learning what no means.

No means not right now for you, but it is yes for someone else! For every no there is a yes to follow. I have learned that everything I am asked to do is not a message from the Lord. When He calls I am learning to move and do His will, but every need does not have to be met by me.

When you live with such pain, you want to help in every area, but you just can't. There are those times when the pain is so strong, that you are barely taking care of yourself, much less serving in another area.

The bad thing with living in pain is that not everyone understands. Not all know the depths of pain from fibromyalgia. As it only took me 20 minutes to get ready for church today, it took almost an hour and a half to get out of bed! My good days come and go, but I find blessings in each moment the Lord gives.

As fibro is becoming my friend in life, I think one of the things the Lord has taught me through this is to say no. Did the Lord give me fibro? No, He didn't, but He allowed it, and through it He is teaching me much, just like saying no. He has opened other doors for me to serve and grow in.

When I have to say no, it is not saying no to a person, or the event God is moving in, I must say no to helping in the way they wish. But in saying no to one area, the Lord will open a door to a yes in another.

That is one of the blessings in this ministry of my blog. I can write in bed, and come to the computer when I have the energy to sit for awhile. God calls us all to do different things at different times in our lives, and for me, through this pain, in slowing down, He has opened doors in other areas for me to work in and show His glory and strength through me.

So for all of you in pain, for those of you suffering in any way. It is okay to say no. Its a simple two letter word and only takes a second to share. In your heart if you know you cannot do something, pray for God to open that door for someone else to step in and be used of God and not only serve in that area, but reap the blessings that you once did. You must learn the limits of yourself, and when you know you cannot say yes, its okay. Others will learn to understand. When you are suffering from severe pain, you have those good days and bad ones. Take those good ones and run with them. In those bad ones, slow down, and enjoy the grace the Lord washes over you. I know its very hard to say no. It has taken me a long time and maybe that comes with age, but in saying no, you are not saying I do not care. You are simply saying I cannot and you must learn to be okay with that and have peace in your heart with your no.

God has not called us to be yes girls. He has called us to serve with Him and He will show us where to go and which door to move through, and given the opportunity, He will give us the healing and energy to serve with a willing heart.
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