Thursday, February 25, 2010

just keeping a journal

I love my mornings. I am able to write, to read, and to spend time with the Lord. I love it when I can turn on the Christian radio, and just take my time. It is not always like that, so on those mornings that it is its a sweet moment.

As I had gone through trials I learned to keep a journal. As I wrote each night before bed, I could share in words with my pen my deepest struggles and fears. As I wrote sometimes it was one sentence, one page or at times many more depending on what was going on in my heart.

I learned a long time ago not to write letters to others. My Pastor seems to find all the right moments to remind me of this when I am needing to speak to another, and I say with a smile, "Can't I just write a letter?" He was the one who showed me that even though my heart was on those pages, my deepest and truest feelings, others who received those letters could not sense my heart, my tone, and could often take the words in anger instead of the way I was hoping.

So I learned to write for myself, just between me and God. And you know what, I found answers in doing it this way that I would have never found another way.

In writing, in taking time to think and pray it stopped me from saying the wrong things, and added new insight to the situations. It gave me time to see God at work not just in others, but in me. I grew writing my feelings down, and sharing with the Lord.

I still have all my journals for the last six years or so. And I will keep each one, for as I look back I can see just where I was and how far God has brought me.

In writing letters we often find ourselves so emotional, we are angry and not afraid to write down all these feelings in hopes the other will receive it gladly, and open their heart and all will be fixed. Ha, that never works the way we intend. It soon makes the other angry, the situation escalates, and nothing is solved. It brings us right back to where we were with no answers and more questions.

So when we learn to take time, to seek the Lord first, He will show us and give us the wisdom we need for each situation. All people are different, we have have different facial expressions, feelings, and attitudes toward problems. We call face things differently, and we cannot expect another to come to understanding the same way we might.

Before we write that letter we need to place ourselves in the receivers shoes. How are they going to feel when they open the letter and unlock your words? Are they going to see healing, faith, Christ, and love? Or will find hurt and disappointment?

Sending a letter of love, of thanks is a beautiful gift to the one receiving and the one writing. Those are different types of letters than the ones trying to resolve a problem. As a card sender, I love to write words of encouragement, but as a "Fixer", I have learned letters are not the best way to bring peace. And I too have learned not to be a fixer, that is God's department.

We have His love letter, and there is no other like it. It speaks right to our hearts. Journaling has brought great joy to my life. It has brought healing, and wisdom. If you are going through any kind of situation I would suggest journaling all your feelings and allowing God to search your heart. I still carry my journal in my purse so it write there for me to write down thoughts, words that I find encouraging to me, and it helps me in my writing.

Journaling can be a key to unlocking feelings you have kept for years. For us to grow we need to release all those feelings so healing can come. May our words be between us and God, and let Him work in those situations around us, bringing His will for us to see. Journaling can be a guide, along with God's word on our journey through life, and many times saving the sweetest memories and putting them to words.
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