Tuesday, February 16, 2010

i'm sorry

Have you heard the quote, "Love is never having to say your sorry?" Well, I see that statement and it just doesn't sit well in my heart. I think love is saying your sorry.


Too many times we go through life never saying I am sorry to another and why? It is our own selfish pride that gets in the way. We don't want to be wrong and we sure don't want to admit when we have done something to offend another.


When I lost my dad at the age of 19 it was so very difficult not to have him with me. Once he was gone it was at that moment I thought of all the rotten things I had said or done in my teenage years. It is during that time of reflection that I looked back and seen in clear vision all the times I let pass of saying, "I'm sorry Dad". Two little words that mean so much that I hadn't spent that much time saying. Today, I wish I could just have those extra few minutes with him just to say how sorry I was.


So now comes the next question. When we say we are sorry do we really mean it from the heart? Or are they just words to move on? Saying the words are just not enough, it is the meaning behind them. There were times as a teen that I had said I was sorry just to move on and not get in trouble. But in that time was I really concerned with what I had done and the hurt I had caused or again was I just concerned with me? When we are speaking those two words they need to be followed by action behind them.


Families and friendships are often broken apart not because of what has taken place but because one is not willing to speak the words so often needed to hear by another. Now in my 40's I know to forgive weather I ever hear those words or not. But it is in those words that healing begins, and it often begins in the heart of the one saying those words. Too often we are not willing to accept the actions we have done. For us to love another we first have to love ourselves and part of that growing comes from acknowledging that its not always about us.


For us to accept Jesus as our Savior part of that process is asking Him to forgive us of our sins. For us to humble ourselves and say to Him how sorry we are for our actions is showing our love for Him.


In that moment of asking forgiveness, of saying you are sorry it brings us to a humble place. It opens our heart to another and sometimes that can be scary. But for us to grow being sorry is something that needs to be said and heard. Love is not proud and boastful, its about giving, about being honest and opening our heart and knowing when we are wrong. Saying I am sorry is not failure, it is success. It is helping a relationship grow. It is believing another when they are opening their heart.


Too much time goes by without saying we are sorry. At times we keep waiting and hoping for things to change, but they never will until we begin to look at our hearts and begin a change there. Once we can see clearly, once we can take our eyes off our prideful heart we can speak those words with love.


I would love to wrap my arms around my daddies neck, hold him tight and tell him all things I never did. To share with him all the times I messed up and how I learned from them and him is something I wish I had not let time go by without saying, but I did. Time slipped away faster than I thought, and I lost that valuable time of bearing my heart to him. Don't let today go by without telling someone you are sorry. Don't let a relationship slip away because of pride today.


2 Corinthians 7:9-10 "Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry in a godly manner, but that your sorrow led to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death."


In this verse Paul is writing the Corinthians. He is teaching them that godly sorrow leads us to grow. When we are sorry we turn from what we have done. We change our ways and want to make things right, not for us, but we want to bring peace to the one we have hurt in some manner.


How do you say, "I'm sorry?" You say it with love, and with a humble heart. When we speak the words from our heart, it takes that "I" and changes it to a little "i". It takes the focus off us and places it on the one we love. Let today be the day you open your heart to another. Open your heart to healing and you will see the blessings flow in.
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