Sunday, September 13, 2009

Inhibitions

Today as I sat in church the Lord was moving through me and I wanted to shout and praise His name. Our Pastor was being a willing vessel and allowing the Lord to speak through him and move in ways that made you sit at the edge of your seat. I am one who says, "Amen" when I feel the Lord speaking,but quietly, but raising my hand, standing up, moving and raising my voice in praise is hard for me. I am so ashamed to say that, but inside my heart I am feeling the Spirit move. After the sermon this morning I came home on fire, and did not stop talking about all Christ had shown me today. You first must understand I am a little white Baptist girl that really has a black, Pentecostal girl inside just waiting to get out. I don't want anyone to take that the wrong way. It is meant with all the respect and love that I have. We watch preachers on television, listen to sermons on the radio, and listen to the people move. They shout, they give praise, and they bring glory to God when they do so. The Holy Spirit gets ahold of them and they are not sitting there as I am, they allow Him to move through them and that is amazing for them to experience and for the Lord to know His child is not afraid to express what He is doing for them. Why is it that we are afraid to move? Why is it that we are afraid to stand and praise His name? We are afraid someone will look our way and think,"What in the world is that child doing?" Or "I would never do that!" Shame on us for keeping the Holy Spirit at bay. Shame on us for judging the experience another has with the Lord. The first person to ask me to go to church was a black woman I was going to beauty school with. Sadly, I did not get to go with her, but oh, how I wanted to. Even then I knew I was searching for something, for someone, and it turned out to be Jesus Christ. When we feel Him move in us, we should be willing to allow Him to show Himself through us. This baptist girl dances in her living room, I love turning the radio on and just praising Jesus. I can sit at my computer while I am writing with the radio on and raise my hand, sing out, and praise Jesus for all He is doing, so why is my little self not doing it in Church, why am I concerned with what others think? I should be more concerned with what God is thinking at the moment and be willing to move for Him. Our inhibitions keep us from fully grasping all of the Holy Spirit. Our inhibitions keep us from moving forward to the altar, to another, and singing with our voices held loudly. I'm not talking about putting on a show, I am speaking truthfully about letting the Holy Spirit move through us as He wants to. There are times where I can feel my hand moving up, and I keep it down. There are those days where the Lord is moving and I just want to stand and shout His name, and I stay in my seat. Why am I letting my inhibitions keep me from experiencing all that God has for me? I am missing out on so much just because of my inhibitions. I don't want to miss out, I don't want to lose out all the movement God wants in me. I want to give Him my all, so what am I waiting for? Today was one of the most amazing days of service we have ever had for me, and I kept the Holy Spirit at bay. For you, what is holding you back? Are you giving your all to Him? In heaven when we see His face are we going to hold back all the praise we have? I think not, it will be the most amazing thing ever felt between a Father and a child. So why not here, why not now? For You Lord I want to give my all, I want to surrender to you my inhibitions, and allow You to move through me as You so desire for me. I want to experience everything You have for me. Thank you Lord for teaching me today, thank you for loving me just as I am, but knowing just how much more I can give. Church is no place to hold back what you are feeling, it is the place to let go, and to let God. So where do you stand today? Are you a hand raiser or a pew sitter, afraid of what others might say? I say, "Don't worry about what others have to say, just have your experience with your God and experience all He has for you today through His Spirit."
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