Friday, August 21, 2009

from darkness to light in five years

Five years ago things were happening in my life, and I thought life was over. I thought I would never smile again, and I for sure knew that nothing was ever going to be the same. As each day brought a new set of tears, I found myself losing hope. I found myself in this pit and didn't think I would ever make it out. Although I clawed and kicked and tried to get out, nothing was happening or so I thought. As I look back five years ago I thought God forgot all about me. I called for Him, and I just knew He was passing me by. I knew all was moving and going on around me, but I was being still, if not going backwards. At times I think I was angry at God. I thought I was doing everything right, I thought I was following God, and living for Him, so how could these things happen? How could my life change over night? How could I feel so lost, when I knew I was found? When we seem to be in our darkest times, we cry out, and although we may feel as though God has given up, He is working in us, and all around us. I know in these last five years I have grown closer to Him, and I have learned a great deal about life. I have learned so much about myself. The things I must change and the things I must allow God to work through. When we cry out to God He hears each and every word. For me, this has been a long journey. It has been a path few really know about. But I am here today to share with you, God moves, God is great, God is mighty, and He is our Redeemer. God brought me through those dark days, He brought me through the nights I layed awake crying. He never left me, I was leaving Him. I was trying to find my own way again. I thought if God isn't going to move then I must take control. But what I didn't realize was just how much He was working. There are times we must go through trials to see who God really is, and its through those trials when we are losing everything, that we realize He is everything. I have learned to trust, to believe, to know that God has His hand on us everywhere we go. When we are thinking we are at the last of our rope, God reaches out to us and pulls us into His loving arms. I would have never thought God could use me for His glory. Here I am writing, my first piece in a magazine, and now I am a book reviewer for the biggest publishing company for christian books. I am overwhelmed, I am humbled, I am forever thankful God shows us a way. He uses our pain to bring glory. I can see how He has moved in my life. I can see how He is placing each stitch just where it needs to be. He is healing those wounds, and has filled my heart with His peace. When we are going through the dark, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is God. Just when we think we can't take another step He is right there picking us up and carrying us until we can stand again. Never give up, never give up on your dreams, for in those dreams God has placed His will. Don't lose sight of what is really important. Nothing is as bad as it seems in the new morning light. We can just allow Christ to wash His comfort and His blessings over us. When we give up on ourselves, we give up on Him. For Him to move through us, to teach us and to mold us into who He wants us to be, we must be humble before Him, open our hearts and let the healing begin. We are never alone, and in our darkest nights, He is there with us. Morning always comes, and with it comes grace and mercy. All doesn't heal or change over night. It takes time for God to teach us, and it takes time for us to really see the big picture. Just when we think its over, its just beginning. Don't ever doubt God like I did, don't give satan that satisfaction of bringing you down into the depths of despair. There is hope, there is faith and there is love. Whatever you are going through tonight, know that He is with you. As those storm clouds are blowing in, and you can see the darkness, and feel the pressure of that coming storm, know without a doubt that God is your shelter, your strength, and our comfort. As that storm comes, the rain will begin, but as the sun begins to shine, the rainbow appears in all its glory, just as God does in our moments of pain. If God can use a simple girl like me, if God can do anything and He does. He is forever, He is unchanging, He is our past, He is our present and praise Jesus He is our future. Don't give up, God isn't going to let you down. He will bring you through, He will raise you high, and you will praise His name for all He has done, is doing and will do in your life. Five years seemed long to me, but to God it wasn't. Nothing is too big or to powerful for God. With God all things are possible. Hide those words in your heart and believe on them... "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and notof evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 "For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings." Psalm 61:3-4 "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 Never let go of Him, for He will never let go of you~


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