My mom is getting much older now.She is in her late seventies with many health problems. She is losing her eyesight to diseases of the eye,and her body is fragile now. Today as I went to take her shopping,something was different about her. Then as I was holding the door so she could lock it,she stood for a few minutes and couldn't remember how to lock her door. I stood there in horror,thinking,no not my mom. Please don't let this be.See,my grandmother is in a nursing home with demensia,so my mom knows the fears and has seen what it can do to someone you love so very much. She does not want to face this horrible illness. She is getting to where she sleeps more and more. She is in pain,and I feel she has such a weight on her shoulders. I feel as though my mom is becoming afraid. She is afraid that alzheimers or dementia is overtaking her mind and body.She shared that with me once we were in the car. I do many thing for my mom.The things I am not able to do,my son or daughters do for her. We share in taking care of my mom. It is a horrible feeling knowing something is just not right,and may indeed get worse. As I sit here typing, my heart is heavy. We always think our parents are going to be here forever. As we get older and see our children grown,we realize just how fast time moves. My mom is a special lady who loves to read. She fills her days with reading,and for her to lose her sight is frightening to her,knowing that the one thing she can still take joy in may be gone and stripped from her life. My mom is saved and knows she is in the hands of her Lord and Savior. She knows she shouldn't worry,but the unknown is scarey. The unknown steals away our joy,and fear can overtake us and lead us into despair. As my mom gets older I want so much to protect her,to keep her safe and care for all her needs. This is a struggle for me. I have to be honest and say that I see so many older people and they can travel and go and do all, I often ask God,"Why my mom?" Why is it that she has to suffer so? As my mother grows more confused by the day,her beauty still shines through. Her love still carries on each day. I know my mom will at some point need full time care. I want to be that caregiver for my mom. I want to meet all her needs,and share our love for many years to come. I am now wondering what my next steps should be. What doctors to go to,and how to get my mom care without her being terrified. Please pray for my mom. Please pray for her healing. Pray the Lord lifts her up and heals her mind,body and soul. I just felt the need to share about my mom today. Maybe there is someone else out there with the same fears. You are not alone. God is with us,and His hands will bring comfort and strength,meeting each need we have. He knows the trials we face,and He will lead us through the unknown with His mighty hand. Thank you Lord for my mother.For her beauty and grace,for her kind and passionate ways. Thank you for her giving,and for granting me such a wonderful mother that I lift up to You today....
