I have been reading through the Book of Acts and have found myself on the road to Damascus. In reading about Saul's transformation on the Damascus Road I found myself reading again and again these chapters of this man who knew the Word, studied the Word, found himself killing Christ's followers and thought it not only okay, but the right thing to do. Saul was arrogant and vicious. He knew the Word, but he didn't know Jesus, the Savior. That's what was missing. Much like us today. We can know the Word, we can memorize it, speak it, and claim it, but if we don't know Jesus, I mean truly walk intimately with Him, we need to find ourselves on the road to Damascus. We need a Jesus experience!
Just like us today, Saul had his own mission in mind. God's mission, on the other hand, was something entirely different. It was something bigger than Saul could imagine. Jesus was getting ready to introduce Himself to Saul. Saul was about to meet face to face with the Jesus he was living to persecute. Right there on that road in the middle of everything Saul was transformed. He not only heard Jesus speak, but Saul seen the Savior before him. They shared a powerful moment that was beyond anything he could have ever imagined. He now knew what the Apostles knew. He believed. He was a changed man. Not only was he transformed into a new man, but he was given a new name, Paul.
So, here I sat in the middle of my bed with Bibles spread out across my quilt. As I spoke the Word aloud tears began to fall. I shared with Jesus, "I want to be on that road. I want a Damascus Road experience!" I met my Jesus right there and poured my heart out to Him. I asked Him to meet me right where I sat and He showed Himself to me like never before. Tears are now pouring. My words were not thought out. They were not practiced. I didn't ring out excuses or explanations. My heart poured out from my lips and I was changed.
How do I know I was changed? I felt my heart move in a way like never before. It was the Holy Spirit moving within me and me allowing Him room to move. Me asking Him to move on my behalf. A peace washed over me and His mercy flooded my soul. I poured myself out to Him and He filled me in a way that only He can.
I was reading at the life of Paul. All he had been and all he would become. God knew Paul when he was Saul. He had been planning his life since before he was born and He kept His eye upon him. This is love! Such wondrous love and mercy from a God whose people were persecuted by this man. This man who would change on the road to Damascus, never looking back, but never forgetting their meeting. He was used mightily of God. In ways that was made perfect just for Him by a God who loved him.
This is the girl I want to be for my Jesus. I want to give Him the room He needs to create in me beauty beyond anything I could imagine. I want to say, yes, to Him and be His obedient daughter. Yes, I want to follow my Savior. There isn't anywhere I want to travel where He isn't present. I want my life to about Him, not about me. Oh, how I so often make it all about me.
I would later share with a friend that I knew something powerful was different within me. One reason I knew was because Satan was now on attack in my thoughts and attitude. I could feel him pressing against me, but there was the Holy Spirit giving me witness to say, "Not today, Satan! Today you may attack, but you will NOT win any part of me!"
What I have learned is that my walk with Jesus is a journey. If I'm not continually growing I will allow myself to be stagnant. But for me to grow I have to walk aware of God's voice. It's His voice that leads me. Please hear me when I say, we can never get too far away from Jesus to hear His voice! That's part of Satan's scheme he wants us to believe. His grace is always bigger than any sin in our life. He is always willing. The question is, our we?
"Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We have also obtained access through Him by faith into grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."