I have been quite in my writing. Soul searching. Digging deep. Bible open and heart ready. "What is it, Lord? What do You want me to share?" I kept waiting for His answer. Nothing but quietness. I kept studying. Diving in deeper and deeper. Putting everything aside and calling out to Him again and again. "Okay, Lord, what am I to share? Give me something, please."
My heart was aching to write. To share a message of hope. A message of calm and serenity. But this isn't what my heart was feeling. My heart has been in a roller coaster of emotion and what is it that I heard the Lord saying to me? "Not yet, My daughter. Some things are just meant for you."
Once I heard from Him it all made sense to me. He knows my heart. He knows what I need most. I would be studying and I would immediately think, "This is it! This is good stuff." I could clearly see the message. But I would sit at the computer and nothing would come. It was in my head and heart, but it wasn't to be printed. At least not upon paper. This message He has been giving me was to be printed upon my heart only. God was radiantly changing my heart and it wasn't for the world. It was just for me.
I was desperate to share something. I surrendered all to Him or so I thought. I lay it all down, but there always is Satan ready to remind me of all that's wrong. All the pain that I've let go, the anger that covered my heart. He knows it all well. He is the reminder to keep us held in chains. Don't ever think he doesn't know us. He knows us well. He lies in wait to distract us. To lie to us. He confuses the heart and creates a wedge where God has placed a bridge.
I have been studying the life of Paul and David. I'm now studying the life of John. As you can imagine there is so much to share. How could the Lord not want me to share all I had been learning? Friends, there are times God gives us a message to share and there are many times He gives us a message just for us. We must be heart ready before we share with others. God's timing is always perfect.
Our heart needs mended. We become bruised and angry. Emptiness is a real opponent. There is so much hurt around me. I have friends who are deeply wounded. My heart aches for them. This world around us grows more evil by the day. It's easy for our heart to become distracted when so much around us is out of sorts.
Instead of me being in a place of wanting to share with others I needed to simply be asking God to reveal Himself to me. I don't want to simply read His Word. I want to experience it as the words roll off my tongue. I began reading His Word aloud and it became powerful to me. I could feel my heart connecting in ways as never before.
That's why it's so important to remain in the Word. Be ready to hear from Him. He forever has a message for us. We have to willing to listen and then to use what He has given us as He directs. To be intentional gives God the room and time He needs to feed us what our heart so needs. When we inquire of the Lord He is good to give us exactly what we need when we need it. This is what He has been doing in my heart. Praise Jesus!
It's a beautiful thing to be lost in the presence of the Lord.
"Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Psalm 107:8-9
Dear Abba Father, thank You for meeting me right where I am. You know my heart and my every need. You supply all for me as if I were Your only only child. Your love sustains me and is enough. If I could never share another word with the world You would be enough. I desire You, Lord. I crave Your Word and never want to be out of Your company. I want my penned words to be from You. I never want to seek my own, but forever live for You.