Do you ever feel unworthy? Ever feel like you just can't get it right? Do your mistakes seem to keep piling up? Life just not as you expected? Dreams are forgotten and you get caught in the doldrums of each day. Just going through the motions until the night closes and you go to bed, only to wake and do it all over again. Sound familiar?
You search for a happiness to fill your soul. You reach into the depths of all you know and nothing is satisfying. Struggle seems to be at every corner and you feel as though you just can't catch a break. You feel judgment from all those around you. It seems there is always someone pointing out what your doing wrong.
What if you were surrounded with encouragement? People who just loved you for who are you and not for what you do or what you can give? Sometimes I feel as though I just can't get it right. Just about the time I think I'm finally getting there I see that I have a long way to go. But it's when I look back I see the journey is worth it. No matter if I have a friend standing by me or if I am all alone, it's worth it. It's worth trying over and over again. Why? Because I am a child of the King of kings! I am loved! I am loved! I am a work in progress. He isn't finished with me yet. He isn't going to toss me aside. He isn't so much concerned with what I can do or what I can give. He only wants my heart. He only wants a relationship with me. See, even if I look around and I see no one encouraging me, I see my Lord and Savior on the side lines cheering me on! Every obstacle in our way only makes us stronger in our walk.
I'm not that same girl I was at 20. Praise Jesus! Not even at 30 or 40. I can honestly tell you once I gave my heart to Christ everything changed. Forevermore I would be a girl after God's own heart. I would be a girl who would still make mistakes. A girl who would walk away and who would return. By the grace of God I am changed. That old me is no longer there. Oh, she likes to creep in at times, but I am reminded, she is changed. Her old ways no longer play a part in who she is. Jesus has a way of lifting my head and showing me I am worthy and He has a plan for me. He wants me to face the day with a new attitude. What He first began in me He will complete it!
As long as I keep my eyes on Jesus everything will be okay. Yes, those days I wake as a crab. He can turn those crabby days into days of glory. Those days I get mad? He too can rearrange those to bring about a humble heart in search of peace. When my spirit feels like crawling under the blankets, He is there to lift me out of bed and transfer me from a girl in need to a girl who is soaring on the wings of grace. When I feel like I can't get it right, He is there to give me strength to try again. On those hard days when I feel like giving up, He is there to remind me there is more. I can find Him even in my biggest mess.
He can use every circumstance to bring about glory. Yesterday is gone. There is nothing I can do to change yesterday, but today, yes, I can change today. I can control my actions and reactions. With Jesus there is nothing that can hold me back from doing His will and way. For me, I can be my worst enemy. I am a thrower of the biggest pity party's. I can let bitterness settle in and I am in for a day of remembering each hurt that has caused me pain.
Friends, let it go. Let the hurts go and let God heal them. We are so glued to the past aren't we? We hold those hurts and in the end, we are only hurting ourselves. I can look back and see how things could have been. How things should have been. But you know what? When I chose a different route, God always brought me back. His mercy is always there. His forgiveness can change a heart. It changed mine.
Here's the thing. Until we come to the moment we can totally surrender nothing is ever going to change. When we come to the moment in life where we can know that we are forgiven and redemption is waiting, everything changes! We find Jesus when we fall face first into the dirt. He washes us off with His grace. He delivers us from our shame and we are clean in His righteousness.
There is nothing here on this earth that can hold us back. Nothing except ourselves and our own fears. We fear letting go. We fear trusting another. We fear placing our lives in the hands of another. But friend, who else better to trust than the One who created you? The One who gave His live for your life? He paid your reward in full. Not so you could live a mundane life, but so that you could have life abundantly!
It doesn't matter that I'm not the greatest cook in the world. It doesn't matter that I struggle keeping my home spotless. He loves me no matter what! He has blessed me with gifts to share. It's through those gifts that I have learned more about myself. It's giving Him control over my life that has freed me from trying to live a life of perfection. It's never going to happen. I can live freely knowing that the Lord All Mighty has great things planned for my life and it's sometimes through my greatest messes that I find out what humbleness is all about. I can't grow without a humble heart.
Jesus is my refuge. He is my strength. I am redeemed! The old is no longer and through Jesus I can embrace today. I can embrace every facet of who I am. I am learning to keep trying and never give up. Sometimes it's hard. Oh, don't I know it. Just as a coach goes over the films of a game with his players, I too can look over my past and even in my greatest defeats I can learn. Even when I didn't know Him, He was still there. Leading me to the end zone. Showing me how to catch the long pass and run with the ball with all my might!
Have you ever seen a breathtaking horse in a small fenced in area? He gets tired of going in circles. In that small area there is only so much he can do. All he wants to do is do what he was designed to do. Run. Ever see a horse running wild and free? It's beautiful.
Friends, there is so much more to do than focus on yesterday. Don't allow Satan to drag you down to a pit of despair. ALL things are possible. Hold on. God's getting ready to open the gate. Coach doesn't want you on the bench. He wants you doing what you were designed to do. Open the gate and run!
"Don't you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. Now everyone who competes exercises self control in everything. However, they do it to receive a crown that will fade away, but we a crown that will never fade away. Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
"Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne." Hebrews 12:1-2
"He gives strength to the weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; will will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
"The name of Yahweh is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are protected." Proverbs 18:10