Friday, October 26, 2012

Waiting For A Bad Day

Has everything in your life been going good and somewhere in the back of your mind your waiting for that bad day to happen? I mean, how long do things go well before the bad day comes out of no where? If your like me, you might have a few of those thoughts swirling around in your noggin.

If your close to me and know me well you know I struggle with anxiety. I have had panic attacks for over ten years now. They are mostly under control, but I can wake up in the middle of the night and be fearful right there in the comfort of my room. They are much better than when they started out, but still there roaming and waiting for that unsuspecting moment to hit out of no where.

Over the past few weeks, I'd say even the last month, I've been very anxious. It's like I've known something is about to happen. I just don't know when, but I know it's coming. It's like I can feel it under my skin. You know, in the deepest part of your fearful momma heart, you know it's coming. Dreams and thoughts have just scattered my mind with fear.

Oh, you don't even have to say it. I will say it for you. There is no fear in faith. You cannot walk in faith and worry at the same time. Believe me, I know. It's not even so much that it was worry. I had this feeling so it was an addition to my prayer life.

As a momma I pray for my children each morning. I pray for them throughout the day. I send little texts telling them I love them and I'm just saying a prayer for them. But since these feelings have disturbed my comfort and peace, I went to prayer even more so. I have prayed more and I have been more specific. I have prayed for each step I could possibly think of. My prayer time with the Lord didn't quiet those feelings, but it did quiet my spirit. I knew with my prayers, God had everything under control. Goodness, He knows my children's steps far more than I do.

Over the weekend, my son and I, went shopping. As we were headed for the city, we were approaching a yellow light. I slowed, but the car in front of me slammed on their brakes. I hurried to stop. Stop I did NOT. As I hit my brakes there was NOTHING. It seemed that we even sped faster as we approached this car. It seemed like I said, "Jesus" under my breath and before I knew it we were there. Only there was a way out. A turning lane. So, that's where I headed. There were NO cars in that lane. None! The other lights were red, so the oncoming cars were all stopped. I turned in speed and we began to slow down. My brakes then began working. With my shaky knees, I pulled into a parking lot. My first words were, "Praise God!" I couldn't believe what had just happened. It happened before a blink of an eye. I should have hit that car stopped in front of me. That lane I turned in is usually filled with cars. It didn't make sense. I knew it wasn't luck. It was the Lord and His protection.

I began thinking, "Okay, Lord, was that what You were trying to tell me? Was it me who was to be cautious?" My prayers for my children continued even more fervently.

This morning we all wake at 5:30. I was gathering my thoughts when I knew I was to write a post today entitled, "Waiting For A Bad Day". It was upon my heart to share my anxiousness. Only I didn't know the Lord would have much more for me to share by the time this post was written.

I begin the coffee. My son is preparing his lunch for work and my hubs is slowly getting around. Normally, my hubs would not be home, but he is home today. As my son walks out the door I grab my coffee and my hubs heads back to sleep for a bit. Jake walks out the door saying, "Love ya Mom, love ya Dad", and we say, "Love ya. Be safe".

With coffee sitting next to my bedside, I begin my prayers for my children. I'm drinking coffee and my hubs phone is ringing. I look and it's Jake. My heart stirs. I know. In this slit second before I answer, I'm thinking, Please Jesus, let him be okay.

I hear his voice. I know he's crying and shaken terribly. He shares he's had an accident. He says, "Mom, I think I'm okay, but the car is gone". Like I'm even thinking about the car.

I wake my hubs. I have my jams on and I slid on my ugg boots and I say, "We gotta go". Hubs speaks to our son and he puts the phone down and says, "Hon, where are you going? We all won't fit in the truck on the way home". He walks out the door and it doesn't even close all the way. I'm left standing there. I immediately fall to the ground. I'm on my face and It's just me, momma, crying out to the Lord. "Please, keep him safe". Then my prayers move to, "Thank You, Jesus! Thank You, for keeping Your protective hand upon our son".

I felt His grace. His mercy. His goodness. His everything. All wrapped up with a bow tied in love.

My son ran into the back of a flatbed truck going about fifty miles per hour. He went under the truck. Since he didn't hit high enough, his seat belt didn't hold and the airbag didn't go off. The car, although not a complete mess, was issued as totaled. My son kicked his way out of that car with nothing more than a bloody lip.

I had talked with my son over the phone. I had heard his voice, but I wasn't going to be okay until I had my arms around him.

This has been a morning of prayer and praise for the Prater family. For many of you, you have joined me in both. I am forever thankful for your prayers.

I realized this morning that the Lord knew what today was going to bring. He knew the steps my son would take and He too knew there would be an accident. He was preparing my heart to fervent prayer. He knew the prayer my son was needing for his journey today.

He not only was preparing my heart for prayer for my children, but He was changing my heart. Through prayer He was bringing peace and trust. Through sharing with the Lord, trusting Him, and surrendering ALL to Him, He set my heart free.

There is more to this story. As the police came to the crash, one of the men who was in the flatbed was arrested on spot. Turns out the police had been searching for this man and he had many outstanding warrants. My son was not issued a ticket. The officer came to my son and said, "It's your lucky day. Your not getting a ticket today. Because of your accident you helped us apprehend a wanted criminal".

I'd like to share with that officer the simple fact that there was no luck involved. It was all the Lord.

Friends, don't quiet the Spirit when He calls you to prayer. If your feeling anxious, share with the Lord. Open your heart to Him.  I've realized there isn't much I have control over in this world. The only things I have control over is my actions and my response to others. That's about it. There isn't anything that goes beyond the vision of the Lord. He sees our path and He knows just what we need.

I seen a quote a few days ago, "An unanswered prayer is a prayer not spoken". This is so true. Wise words to live by. We must pray and pray without ceasing.

Our day could have ended out differently. I've asked myself today, "If today would have ended differently, would you still be praising God?" Friends, that's a tough question. So with that, lets take it one day at a time. One moment at a time. The more I know of the Lord, the more I know of His mercies.

What am I learning? I must welcome those bad days just as much am I'm hospitable to the good days. Yes! In those bad days, just like today, God has something bigger for us to see beyond anything we could possibly envision. Just as the man was apprehended today. The blessings of today are endless. Just endless, like God's mercies. God gives grace for those good days and even more so for those bad. He is so good.

If I'm willing to take those good days I too must accept the bad. See, God has a way of turning ash into beauty. I've had bad days. I've had days that bring me to my knees. I've had days I didn't think I was going to recover from. There are days I wanna run from and some that have caused me to want to end it all. The glory of it all? I didn't give up. I didn't end it all. Although I ran, the Lord brought me right back. I'm still here today and from each and every bad day I can honestly tell you, they have brought me to the woman of God I am today.

So, the next time you hear someone say, "Man, I'm having a bad day", remind them to go to the Lord in prayer. Pray for them. Take everything to the Lord in prayer. He is good to answer. He is good to give. He is good to meet our needs. The Son always has a way of shining a rainbow upon our deepests storm. The Savior has a way of filling us with grace and mercies that bring brand new perspective.

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

"Don't worry about anything: Instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
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