|Art work by Charlotte Smith|
Do you ever feel like you just can't get it right?
We try so hard, but where is the encouragement to cheer us on when things are actually going well? It seems almost that I hear more from people when I'm not doing right than when I am. But don't we all? We forget to give those encouraging words to inspire one another to keep moving heavenward. It's when we make a mistake that the calls come. We hear the words, "I'm so disappointed in you".
What happens when your tongue gets ahead of your thoughts? You know those times, right? Your thoughts have not quite put themselves together as a whole, but before they have gathered themselves up to be right thoughts, your tongue has spilled over in anger.
I can be driving along, music playing, me singing and out of no where shoots a car, blaring their horn and holding up that valued language of, "You need to learn how to drive". I'm left thinking, now what did I do? So, what now? Ignore the man holding up his finger or do I shout back? Well, I'd like to think I would smile back and send up a prayer for the man, but if I'm honest, I might just yell back.
I go to the store for the weeks needs and as I get home and unload my purchases and I soon realize that I forgot to get my hubs food to take with him for his trip. Now, how does a wife do that? I look at him, disappointed in myself.
I start my day with God's Word soaking into my heart and thoughts. As the day goes on it's as though I didn't even read it. My actions don't line up with what I have promised my Lord. My heart breaks at the thought I have disappointed my God. I fall to my knees praying He will still love me.
I can doubt others sincerity. I can feel as though it just all seems overwhelming. As long as I was a, "Yes girl", people seemed to want me in their company. It's when I began saying no that I started to feel as though I was no longer important.
There is such demand and so many things to finish before the nights ending. How will I get it all done? Pain hits. My back doesn't want to bend any longer and my shoulders are aching. Just as the meds kick in to relieve the pain a migraine hits me blind and I'm left feeling like it's a never ending battle. Chores go unfinished and plans must be rescheduled. People are let down once again.
I can see all the needs of others and offer myself only to come up empty. Time slips away and dates are forgotten. Lessons I learned years ago are now lessons to be learned all over again. I'm never enough. I do too many wrongs.
Judgement seems to come at every corner. "You need to be here. You need to be doing this. You need to walk this way. You need to be this kind of Christian. You need to be this kind of wife. This kind of mother. This kind of friend. You need to serve here. You need to walk this way. Meet the needs of others." I feel like no matter what I do I come up short. It's as though the harder I try the less of myself shows up.
Sometimes at the end of the day I just wanna stand in the rain. I want to let the drops pour over me. I want to feel the shiver of the newness of a new beginning. I want to feel God's grace pour over me as I raise my hands to Him. I want to soak up all He has for me.
It's then. No umbrella in hand. Head raised heavenward that I feel the touch of Christ. I feel Him take my hand and touch my cheek. My heart hears His words, "Daughter, let it go. I am with you. It's not what you do or how you do it. It's your love for Me. It's My love for you. It's our relationship. Let Me walk with you. Let me shower you in My grace and hold you up as the rain gently covers you." He reminds me, "Before our walk is over, remember to look up. Look at the colored beauty in the heavens I have placed for you."
It's then I want to remove my shoes and let my toes touch the coolness of the water springing up all around me. I want to smell the rain and take it all in as though it was the first rain I've ever seen. A smile comes across my face and I stand straight, begin to wiggle my toes and the dancing begins. Oh to dance with Jesus in the sweetness of the moment. Nothing else enters my mind. It's like He has washed away all the hurry and disappointment.
He says, "Daughter, feel the newness? This is for you. I gave all just for you. Don't waist a moment of my grace. Soak it in and know that My love covers all and through Me you, My daughter, are perfect in every way."
Friends, do you ever get the feeling that you just can't get it right? No matter what is going on. No matter the circumstance. We are not perfection in ourselves. We are sinners in need of grace. Children in need of a touch from the Savior.
Give yourself room to make mistakes. Learn not to measure yourself against anyone, but the precious Word of God. Live each day for Him. Life is moment by moment. We are going to stumble. Sinners stumble. But, we can stand again, knowing we have the strength of Christ Jesus washing over us. He is our Everything.
"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when He freed us from the penalty from our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed His life, shedding His blood." Romans 3:23-25
"And I am certain that God, who began a good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ returns." Philippians 1:6
"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God," Ephesians 2:8