10 Things a Homesteader Knows About Romance
Welcome! My name’s Jesse. I’m trying to make a go of it on a claim southwest of Fargo, Dakota Territory. Let me share with you a few things I’ve learned since mail-ordering for a bride awhile back.
1. Tell your story. A woman wants to know who she’s dealing with, what his values are, where his priorities lie. She wants a man who will tell her how he got to this point in life and what lessons he’s learned along the way.
2. Draw out her story. This might take patience - a bushel of patience - as she decides if you’re someone she can trust. Believe me, she’s worth it.
3. Don’t ignore her pain and fears. This world has plenty of ways of knocking us off our feet. Do what you can to ease her suffering, like offering back rubs. Let her know, none of those scars and bruises from her past makes her any less in your eyes.
4. Ask her to join in your work. You can put out fires a lot faster with her help pumping water. God’s been preparing her for your life together, so let her surprise you with all she’s learned.
5. Treat her like a queen. Well, not having much experience with royalty, I’d best say, treat her with all the kindness you can muster. The temperature’s fine for you, but is it comfortable for her? You’re not hungry, but when’s the last time she ate? And even though you’re wide awake, doesn’t mean she’s not exhausted and needs sleep.
6. God knows your prayers and promises, but your wife needs to hear them, too. Stand up before Him and let her know you’re committed to her. Then worship together. Raising your voices together in praise leads to sweet harmony at home.
7. Kiss gently. Shave off those whiskers if they’re pricklier than a porcupine. Take a bath - you know you need one.
8. Let go of those daydreams about how your wife will look and act. Don’t measure her by how your ma cooked and kept house. Don’t weigh your marriage against anyone else’s. And she’s battling ideas of her own. Best if the two of you can leave all those notions behind and know God provided best for you.
9. Remember how lonely you were before and be grateful. Tell you you love her. Thank her. After all, she didn’t have to marry you.
10. Trust God to provide for the two of you. It’s not all on your shoulders. I’m here to tell you, this was the hardest lesson I’ve had to learn. Could’ve save myself a pile of trouble if I’d figured it out sooner.
The Bible says in Ephesians 5 that we’re supposed to love our wives like Christ loves the church. Now that’s what I call setting a high standard!
Jesse Mason is the hero of "Spring for Susannah" by Catherine Richmond.
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