Monday, August 22, 2011

Moving past hurt feelings

Okay, how about we get real today. Sometimes we just gotta lay it all out there, right? How many of you have been hurt by other women? I am sure we can all raise our hands on this subject. Women can be down right mean. Yes ladies, I am talking about us today. Those very friendships we thought would last forever are now null and void. No matter how much you try to reach out, nothing comes back. We can drive ourselves nuts trying to figure out why.

Let's put it this way. If someone has hurt your feelings, why not go to them? Why not just ask them, "Have I offended you in some way?" Why? Because as women we don't want confrontation, so we say, "Nope, you haven't done anything." But yet, there is still no communication. Instead, that friendship that meant so much is lost in miscommunication and pride. What do we do as women? We go to others and talk. We go others and share, when in fact we should be going straight to that person. But what do we do when nothing comes of it? We pray about it and we let it go. Simple as that, right? Do you know how hard that is? Goodness, we are women after all. We must be liked by everyone and be yes girls. We worry why someone doesn't like us, call us or even speak to us in passing.

When does this happen and how can we move past these feelings? I think they are feelings of abandonment. I always taught my girls to be the kind of friend they would want. Well, not everyone is going to be that kind of friend. We can't make other people be what we want them to be. I think as young girls we just want to be accepted. We just want to fit in and this never leaves our hearts. I don't think there is a woman on this earth who doesn't want to fit in and have everyone like her. But what's wrong with this? Absolutely nothing! We can be that friend to all. We can be that woman God has called us to be. But we must accept that not everyone is going to receive us. Not everyone is going to want to be our friend. We cannot be concerned with incoming love. It's that outward love we need to concern ourselves with.

We begin to look in the mirror and wonder, "What is wrong with me? Did I do something? Why doesn't she talk to me anymore?" Ladies, we can't answer those questions for others. We can only look into our mirror and strive to be the woman God has called us to be. We can strive to be a good wife, mother and friend. Most importantly we must remember what really matters is our relationship with the Lord. If we are right with Him our heart is complete. We don't have to have others fill in the gap, because He has become everything to us. In our relationships we must point others to Christ. We are to be His mirror image. We mustn't try to find our self worth in other women. They are struggling just as we are. We all have issues and unless we are transparent, not everyone is going to see and understand where we are in life.

After we have prayed, reached out, and have spoken with this friend one on one, if nothing changes, we simply must move forward. We can't stay in stagnant ground. If they are not willing to share, then there simply isn't much we can do. What can we do? Continue to pray for this friend as the Lord lays them on our heart. In opening our heart in love, we don't always receive that love in return. Ouch! We don't want to ever close off our heart to a person. We make ourselves available and we continue to be that reliable friend. Lets take a step back and instead of focusing on all the hurt this friendship left, lets see what value we can gain.

We should remain faithful to who we are in Christ. He has a way of bringing everything to light. He works all for His good and nothing goes unseen from His eye. With that being said, we should find ourselves complete in Him and Him alone. We should find our acceptance in His loving arms and carry that same grace and forgiveness He gives to us to others who have hurt us and brought tears.

If we are living in Christ daily we don't have time for pettiness and groveling. If we are spending time with Him we are going to be in constant change. If our focus is on our Savior it won't be pointing fingers at others. If we find ourselves wrapped in His Word, we won't find ourselves strangling in gossip. Be the kind of friend to those around you that you want in your life.

It doesn't matter if someone likes us or not. We are called to love. In that love we are responsible for our actions and words. We will never be that woman all women like. That's okay. Be the woman that you can see Christ through and be a reflecting light of His love to all you meet.

It's funny, those women who don't like you, probably really do, but they are so insecure within themselves that they don't know how to react to you. Many times it's not that women don't like us, it's we are so insecure with ourselves we just assume they don't like us.

So ladies, open your heart to Christ and all He has for you. Find that woman He is creating you to be and be all she can be through Christ Jesus. Today is all we have. Don't waste it on wondering if your accepted, liked or gossiped about by those women around you. It is true. Be the bigger person, but with a humble heart and God will send those ladies into your life that will make lasting impacts for Christ and imprints upon your heart. May we encourage, inspire and love each day of our lives. In doing so we are only giving praise to God.

"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control." Galatians 5:22-23a

"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." Philippians 2:3-4

"Three things will last forever- faith, hope and love- and the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor. 13:13


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