Skip to main content

A sharp knife in the back

Yesterday I worked very hard cleaning my home and my car. It was one of those days I pushed myself beyond my own limits. When you live with chronic pain you don't have to do much to cause more pain. You feel it deep within your body. It's almost as though your bones are screaming and your muscles are saying, "No, no more, please."

As the night approached it felt as if I had a knife in my back. A sharp knife, sticking in my shoulder blade. Each movement hurt. Even being still made me want to cry out. Nothing seemed to take the pain away. The more I moved, the more it felt like it was digging in deeper. You just want to reach back there and pull it out to give relief, but you can't. It's not reachable. It's not doable on your own.

Ever feel betrayed? You feel like you have put everything you have into the relationship and then out of no where comes a sharp object and you know it's going to hurt. You just don't know how much at the time. Maybe just a little sting as the pain enters? No, you feel the blade enter and you feel the wound get bigger and bigger with each push. You want nothing more than to stop the pain. It isn't anything you caused yourself. It was another who pushed in the knife. You try with all your might to reach and stretch trying to get it out. To bring about healing and comfort. But, you simply can't do it by yourself. Someone has to remove the knife. Someone has to apply the ointment for healing. What happens when there is no one to pull it out? Where do you turn?

When we are hurt, all we want is healing. We want to find relief. We search our hearts for a reason and rhyme. Sometimes there just isn't any and that is what makes healing hard. When we don't know the cause, how can we alleviate the symptoms? We can't just cover them up. Oh, we can try. We can try to ignore the pain, but it's always there, cutting deeper into our flesh. When you hurt in one place, you feel the pain all over. The pain grabs hold of every nerve and joint connecting flesh to flesh.

For me, my only option is turning to Christ. Only He can remove the pain. He knows what that sharp knife feels like all to well, doesn't He? How many times was He betrayed by those He loved? What does He say about betrayal and forgiveness?

"Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22

"And forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors." Matthew 6:12

"For if you forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15

"But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To Him who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise." Luke 6:27-31

Jesus makes it pretty clear doesn't He? We are called to forgive. We are called to not only forgive once, but to keep forgiving as we call upon God to forgive us. Isn't that just like us? We hold in such anger towards others. We carry such bitterness around with us. We want to hold onto our anger and wrath, but we want Jesus to forgive us of our sins. We call to Him wanting forgiveness and He is there waiting on us, willing to forgive us. Shouldn't that work both ways? Who are we to hold onto to anger when we ourselves are searching for peace? Jesus also calls us to pray for those who have hurt us. Give to those who have caused us pain. That is not easy is it? Jesus didn't say it was easy, He simply said, do it. There are no if, ands or buts. There are no excuses. We can't stand before Him and say, "But Jesus, You don't know what they did to me." Yes, He does. He knows better than anyone what betrayal feels like. He not only knows the pain, He is the Healer and Comforter in our time of pain. It is in Him that we can find peace even when we don't understand.

Jesus was rejected by His own. He is still rejected today. In Luke 6:12-16 we can read how Jesus picked the twelve disciples. He picked them. He chose them. In verse 16 we read, "Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot who also became a traitor."  We too can read in Luke 22:1-6 about betrayal. In verse 6 it says, "So he promised and sought opportunity to betray Him to them in the absence of the multitude." Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss! "But Jesus said to him, 'Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?" Luke 22:48

Jesus just wasn't betrayed by Judas. He was betrayed by Peter when he denied him, not once, but three times. Ever feel as if you have been denied by those you love? Is there any worse feeling than denial? To have one you love with all your heart act as if they don't even know you? Luke 22:54-62 we can read of Peter betraying Jesus. Friends, Jesus knows the pain of betrayal. It seems His whole life He has been betrayed by those He loves. Jesus didn't turn from Peter. He gave forgiveness. Can you find forgiveness in your heart for those who have betrayed you? It's tough, isn't it? It seems we spend our lives forgiving others. But, isn't that what love is all about? We are fallen creatures. We are imperfect. We will make mistakes daily. We will fall. When we do many will turn away. Many will talk and make that knife appear even sharper, but even in our deepest pain we can remember Jesus. We can find forgiveness and love in Him. If He is the only One standing with us, well then, He is enough.

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

See, we can't remove the knife, but Jesus can. He can reach where we cannot. He can heal where we cannot. His love and forgiveness goes beyond reason. His love reaches all doubt. We can't simply give up and not love. Sure, it might be the safe way, but can we really find joy without love? We must continue to pray. We must continue to reach out. We must be who Christ has called us to be. Even when we don't see change coming. Even when the hurt is deep. Just when all hope seems to be gone, Jesus finds a way. With Jesus there is always hope. There is always healing to be found. Yes, of course, we must look to the cross, but friends, Jesus is no longer on the cross!! He is risen! It is in Him that we find hope. Joy. Ever lasting life.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

"Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling aroma." Ephesians 5:1-2

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The One True Love of Alice-Ann by Eva Marie Everson

Oh, just where do I begin? This is the stuff in which great novels are made. I made my way through this richly beautiful novel turning page after page with such deep emotion and thought. I couldn't turn the pages quick enough, but I didn't want it to end to soon. It's one of those novels you could continue reading as long as there were pages. No page just made of fluff, words with no meaning on the page. Every single line in this novel created a story that will last in my heart forever. 
Ms. Everson, I am so happy stories of the war were shared with you. Oh, to have your Sunday school teacher share with you, "You can't choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose who you marry", is a blessing that has now enchanted your readers. What a story you have weaved together. History penned with such depth, detail, and a story that captures the heart. 
This lovely story begins in 1941. The war has started. Picture a family gathered around the Zenith to hear t…

The Glassblower by Petra Durst-Benning

I came across this selection on Amazon. I had seen so many reviews that it intrigued me. I had never read anything from this German author. The cover caught my attention as did the description of this novel. 
It's a part of a trilogy. I am getting ready to open up book 2, The American Lady. I cannot wait to begin. I tell you this book marveled me. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. What a journey into another time and place. 
We travel to Germany where this novel is set. The year is 1890 and we find ourselves in Lauscha, Germany. The author did a fantastic job at the perfect description of not only the area, but circumstance, and heart of the characters. Her writing style flows so easily that the pages almost turn themselves. 
The characters are easy to love. Three sisters who are now wondering, after their father had passed from this earth,  how they will now provide for themselves. It isn't going to be easy, but these sisters show us how to prevail over challenges that…

The" I Am" Makes Us Think About What "i am"

In Genesis 1:26-27 it shares something valuable to each of us about who we are in God. We are created in His image. What I love about this verse below is that is says, "make man in OUR image". What's OUR? The trinity, God, the Holy Spirit, and Christ Jesus. Ponder that. I mean really go deep. We are make in THEIR image. 
"Then God said, "Let US make man in OUR image, according to OUR likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them."
We are His workmanship. He knew us before we were ever born. He weaved us together within the womb, but even before then He planned our life perfectly for us. That's so much to ponder isn't it? 
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared…

Unexpected Blessings

The last words my dad spoke to me from his hospital bed were, "Rob, take care of your mom." Those are words I have never forgotten. I have not only honored them for my dad, but for my mom. I too am commanded by my Father to honor my mother and father.
"Honor your father and mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
My mom gave her life in caring for me. On my first birthday, my very first Christmas, was spent in the ICU as I was very sick with pneumonia. A little later I would burn myself with spilled coffee. A few years later I would tumble down many stairs and once again spent time in the hospital. 
I remember all the times I was sick and could feel my mom's hand brush against my forehead as she checked for fever. All the times she must have stayed up all night as I was sick. 
When I was little she would pour me a bowl of Raisin Bran. I loved it. Only I didn't like the raisins. She would take t…

Of Stillness and Storm by Michele Phoenix

This is my first novel read by Michele Phoenix. I love the premise of this novel and all that she opened my eyes to. We always hear of the 'calling' by missionaries. We want to go where God calls us. We want to make a difference. 
To be called by God isn't the same for every soul. We all fit differently into His plan. Our walk with Him isn't ALL we do for His name, but our relationship with Him, our intimate journey with our Savior. 
This novel is raw and transparent. For me, it was the journey of Lauren. We see that her husband feels called to work in Nepal and with the people, but we really don't read about much of his personal journey. 
Their son, Ryan, is struggling. We can see through the conversations he has with his parents that he is truly unhappy. We see the fall, but we don't really get a close glimpse into his heart. 
It is with Lauren that we journey. She feels alone and lost. Through her words we can 'feel' the pain in her heart. She is br…