Sunday, January 30, 2011

Blindsided with pain

Last week was just awesome for me. I woke each day making my husband breakfast, fixing his lunch and beginning my chores before 6:00 am. I exercised and had such energy I could have shared in my surplus. Saturday afternoon my Fibromyalgia hit me so hard that I felt blindsided. It was like a line backer had charged me from behind and plowed me over.

A migraine came on and I hurt from head to my toes. It felt as though my bones felt every movement and my muscles were tender and inflamed. Pain medication only took the edge off. I stayed in bed resting and found I just couldn't get comfortable. Ever want to sleep so badly, but the pain is so intense you can do nothing but lay there?

I am blessed to have a husband who understand my pain. A son who does whatever he can to help out and a God who is with me through it all. As Daisy lay curled up by me I prayed to God, "Please take this pain away." Have you ever just flat out told Him you don't want something? God is good to listen. He fills us with what we need to not only make it through, but to overcome.

My pain never eased up on Saturday, but did as I woke Sunday. I was able to go to church. Each movement hurt. I don't think others noticed my pain. I think I am getting pretty good at hiding it. You just learn to smile through and keep pressing forward. I refuse to give in and let it overcome me. I may have to rest more. I may have to slow down and know my limits, but I too know that I have a God who will give me victory through it all.

Living in chronic pain is something you grow in each day. You know it's there and sometimes it so intense it is just about all you can think about. But, you take one moment at a time. You focus on all you are thankful for. You set your mind above your pain. I just keep telling my pain, "You are not going to win today." Yes, this girl talks to her pain. I let it know that it has nothing on my God.

This might be my thorn in my side at the moment. It might be a thorn I do not want, but it one I have. Instead of having pity, I must give praise. That's right. We can turn any pity party into a praise party by just changing our attitude. It is all a choice. I can give in to my pain, but there is just too much to be thankful for. In all God has for me this is just a bump in the road. This is minor to the big picture. The big picture is all God can do through this illness in my life.

I am learning there are things I have no control over. So I must wrap myself in God's peace and comfort. He is with us my friends. Pain comes in all sizes and shapes. I know this dreaded illness effects many. It is one of those diseases that is different for everyone who suffers from it. My life is better from it. Yes, little by little I am learning to be thankful for all. Again, that is a moment by moment thing. As one moment I am praising God the other I am cursing this dreaded thing that touches my life with such pain.

How do you make it through each day? Is there something that has touched your life that was unexpected? I am finding those unexpected things warrant much praise because it is through all those things in which we cannot handle that God does His best work. We are work in progress. I must surrender my life in such a way that God can use every part of me for His glory and honor. In surrendering I find peace. A peace that leads through the valleys of pain into streams of hope.

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind." James 1:2-6
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