Thursday, December 16, 2010
Love is knowing when to let go
You begin to wonder why you didn't slow down a bit more, why you didn't you read a few more books and why you said yes to so many activities when all you really needed to do was settle in and enjoy being a mom. Laundry, crying, dishes, diapers, the list goes on and on. Days without sleep. Nights spent walking the floor. You get use to that spit up smell because it has become a part of your dress now. It is permanent. No matter how much perfume you try to put on, that smell is just one sniff away. You dress and in moments you find you have been peed upon by an unsuspecting little one with a grin. Those little stinkers you smell, become more than just a whiff, they too find a way to your lap.
You take out that pencil and paper with their hand in yours. It is now time to begin to write their name. But oh, that paper doesn't keep interest too long. Soon your walls and headboards carry their little names in every color. They seem to use the walls for their inspiration.
Here comes that first bicycle with skinned up knees and bruised elbows. Nothing can keep them back now. All it took was that very first step to teach them the world was at their feet. Oh, that bicycle doesn't last too long and you find a car pulling in the drive way. Yes, it is that boy your little girl has a crush on. You would like to see him leave, but you know in your heart that is never going to happen. You look back to your own first love and know they too feel a heart's flutter. You remember what it was like and know you must let them go.
Now they are standing with their daddy at the aisle waiting to walk down. They are heading off to war. They are going across state to school. They are those little birds that perched in your nest. You fed them and cared for them in every way you could. You build their shelter. The very home that raised them. But now, they are moving close to edge and all you want to do is keep them back. You don't want them to fall. But how else will they learn to fly? They must take that first flight. They must spread those wings and live all that you have taught.