Thursday, December 16, 2010

Love is knowing when to let go

Being a mother is the hardest job in the world, but also the most rewarding. You feel this little one grow inside your womb for nine months. You feel them kicking, moving and that occasional hic-cup. They seem to tell you what foods they like and oh, do you know the ones they don't. You soon find out when you are up all night. This is just the beginning of bonding. We watch our babies with that first smile. They raise their head and we are amazed. We go from being excited about the first time they roll over to the first time they use the potty. Oh, do they grow fast. We never realize just how fast until they are about to leave. It is upon that moment that you look back through the years and it seems it all happened over night.

You begin to wonder why you didn't slow down a bit more, why you didn't you read a few more books and why you said yes to so many activities when all you really needed to do was settle in and enjoy being a mom. Laundry, crying, dishes, diapers, the list goes on and on. Days without sleep. Nights spent walking the floor. You get use to that spit up smell because it has become a part of your dress now. It is permanent. No matter how much perfume you try to put on, that smell is just one sniff away. You dress and in moments you find you have been peed upon by an unsuspecting little one with a grin. Those little stinkers you smell, become more than just a whiff, they too find a way to your lap.

You take out that pencil and paper with their hand in yours. It is now time to begin to write their name. But oh, that paper doesn't keep interest too long. Soon your walls and headboards carry their little names in every color. They seem to use the walls for their inspiration.

Here comes that first bicycle with skinned up knees and bruised elbows. Nothing can keep them back now. All it took was that very first step to teach them the world was at their feet. Oh, that bicycle doesn't last too long and you find a car pulling in the drive way. Yes, it is that boy your little girl has a crush on. You would like to see him leave, but you know in your heart that is never going to happen. You look back to your own first love and know they too feel a heart's flutter. You remember what it was like and know you must let them go.

Now they are standing with their daddy at the aisle waiting to walk down. They are heading off to war. They are going across state to school. They are those little birds that perched in your nest. You fed them and cared for them in every way you could. You build their shelter. The very home that raised them. But now, they are moving close to edge and all you want to do is keep them back. You don't want them to fall. But how else will they learn to fly? They must take that first flight. They must spread those wings and live all that you have taught.

With each step you have prayed. You have prayed for them to have a great faith. To walk with the Lord. To live with purpose and appreciate each day. You have prayed health, love and wisdom for years now and it's time to see where your own faith has taken you. You place them in the hands of your loving Father. Haven't they been in His hands the whole time? To hold on too tight keeps them from being all they can be. We must learn to let go and let love take flight.

You find now that they have a life of their own. Inside you feel lost and so much want to be a part of all they do, but must realize they are learning to soar. Where you once watched them try to fly, they are now soaring high. They are reaching for all those dreams placed in their heart. You aren't missing out, you just have a whole new view. The view your mother once had when you learned to soar. One day they too will see a different view when they watch their little ones take that first step into chasing their dreams. I wouldn't trade my view for anything.
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