Saturday, October 16, 2010

Give me a pen and paper and I am off in a dream

Okay, I am sitting here this morning in my jammies. My hair is all over the place. The radio is shouting praises for our Lord and Savior. The breeze is blowing the curtains loosely. The candles are giving my senses a taste of autumn and I have a list of chores to keep me busy all day.The washer is going and I am on my way, but, do you know what I want to do on my Saturday? You got it, I just want to sit here and write. There is so much to say and so much to share. I have so many thoughts going through my mind. I hear a song and think of a sentence. I read my bible and want to share that "aha" moment. I glance out the window at the woods and all I can think about is God's amazing beauty.
So, am I a writer? You know, I want to be. I dream of that book. I have BIG dreams. But for me, I have only been writing for almost two years now. I have so much to learn yet! I am learning everyday. This is a journey for me. The more I write, the more I learn about myself and all of my imperfections. I know I must learn about editing, spelling, word placement and all that stuff writers do on a daily basis. I know my sentences are off. My words are all misplaced. My thoughts are scattered all over, but you know? That is my life right now! I am being as real as I can be. I simply share my heart with you. You are walking this journey with me.
I have to admit I am lonely at times. No one except my "writer friends" understand this passion I have. No seems to think I work hard or do much of anything. I am that girl who stays at home. But can I tell you, I work all day at something. It might be writing. It might be reading for a review. It might be cleaning my toilets or taking care of my mother. There is always something that has my heart moving.
I listen to the radio play as I write and tears fall at the words I hear. They are rich to my soul and as I hear God's word I know I am right where I am to be. Friends? I must be honest and say most people don't ask me, "So, how is that writing coming along?" But, that is a trap I fall in. I don't need to wonder if others are reading, or if others even notice the hard work I do. I am not here for others, but to serve my God in the gifts He has given me. Sometimes I think He is speaking to me through my writing more than anyone else. Maybe that is just it. Maybe through being still with my hair crazy all over the place is where He can touch my heart. Maybe sitting at this computer is my spot where God calls me, but it's where He teaches me daily more about Him.
I don't want to do anything outside of serving Him. Would I love to write articles for a magazine? You betcha. Would I love to earn money writing? Um, of course! But that hasn't happened. Everyone would love to see their work noticed and you know, it is. God sees. He hears and knows the passion inside me. He placed it there! He knows the steps I must take. He knows the journey and is walking it with me.
I just simply write what I know. I write the struggles I face daily. I write about my dreams and the journey I have been on. I write about loss and blessings. But all in all I write about the Lord. He is all that matters. If I couldn't write about Him I wouldn't want to write at all.
On the side of my blog you see all the blogs I read. I read these blogs daily. They are not just on my blog for me, but to share with you. These ladies who post these blogs are filled with wisdom, humbleness and have been an inspiration to me. I love just coming and sitting down everyday and seeing what God is doing in the lives of others. I love when people just simply share their heart with one another. This morning I went to my friend Jennifer Slattery's blog. You can see it at the side of my page. I encourage you to go there. I encourage you to check all of them out. But as I was at Jen's this morning that is where the Lord spoke to my heart. I want to give up at times. I let my doubts overcome me, but I know that is Satan trying his best to distract me away from the Lord and all He is doing in me. Satan doesn't want to see those dreams soar. He wants to kill them. But I have news for ya Satan, you might as well go on and leave me be, because I am not quitting!!
My friend, God has instilled in your gifts to use for His glory. He has given you passion and a reason for living. Don't give up on your dreams. Those dreams are there to guide you in your journey. I love being on a journey with Him. I can trust Him no matter if I can see up ahead or not. He isn't going to lead me off a cliff. Open your eyes and heart to all God has for you today. With Him leading, we are only going to soar!! It might be slow in coming, but I have learned in that slowness is where He is teaching me for tomorrow!


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