Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A heart's journey

I have been trying of late to keep a schedule of writing. I have been trying to write a quote for Monday, encouragement for Tuesday, pick a woman out for Wednesday, find scripture for Thursday and do an interview for Friday. I think I am exhausting not only myself, but my writing. On Tuesday I may not feel encouraged. On Monday I may just want to write about my struggle. On Wednesday I may want to share a song. I have been trying to hard to please others. When it comes down to it that is what I have been trying to do. I have been trying with everything I have to write for an audience, but in that I have lost track of the audience I am writing for. I began writing for One, and somewhere along the way I am losing that. I use to just sit down at the computer and my fingers would fly. I could sit back with tears in wonder at what I was seeing. It was though the Lord was speaking right to my heart. But now, I am losing that passion with trying so hard to write for others. My passion? Is Jesus Christ. I want to write, but I want to write as the Spirit leads me. It is only then that blessings will flow. It's not who reads it, or how many. It is simply me, following the leading of the Lord. That is where I want to be. That is where I need to be.
The Lord has been doing a work in my heart for a while now. I have had my sights set on dreams and I have been leaving Him out. He should be my focus. He should be the most important factor in my writing. Without Him leading me I have nothing. The gifts that He has given me are to be used for His glory and honor, not my own. I cannot write for the applause of man, but I must write for the One who lives in me. It is Him I need to stay focused on.

We can lose our way so easily. We not only have writer's block, but we seem to have a block that takes our focus off what is really important. Why do we get that block? It is the Lord saying to us, "Hello, where are you going without Me?" I cannot take off without Him. I cannot be Robin Prater without Christ at the center of all I do.

So, yes, you will see more changes. Those little gadgets at the bottom of each post letting me know if you liked it or not? Gone. I will still leave room for your thoughts. Your thoughts are important, they are rich blessings, but that is not why I write. God's thoughts are higher than any reader that will come along my blog. I can no longer focus on how many followers I have, or who stops by. I must focus again on the passion that Christ has instilled in me. I love hearing from you, the readers who choose to read what I pen. But please know, I want to serve my God before any other.

I am keeping, "Lets Chat Friday." I love having others stop in and share their hearts with us. That has become a blessing I was not prepared for. I have found mountains of wisdom and nuggets of richness to hold on to forever. I value those who stop in and chat. I love when the Lord moves through one to bless another. I will still have my book reviews, but when you stop in, you will just see the real me. The girl who is struggling. The girl who laughs at quirky things. The girl who is still trying to figure it all out. It is my prayer that you will be with me for this ride, this journey of faith, and change. Maybe that is why I seem to change my blog so very much. I am going through changes and I am finding this girl that the Lord is calling me to be. I fight with my flesh daily. Life is a challenge. But I want my heart to be pure. I want my heart to write for the Lord.

I don't want my feelings to lead me, but allow God to move through those emotions that come each day. Whatever this blog is to be, it will not be without the leading of the Holy Spirit and my humbleness to allow the Lord not only to do His will here, but to change me as well. I must be a willing vessel for Him to move through. I cannot do that if I am focused on one thing a day. I must leave my heart fully open to receive Him and His purpose for me.

I hope you will stay around to see all that He is doing, and will do in my life and those around me.


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