Friday, November 20, 2009

Do you have it all figured out?

One of my downfalls is that I try to understand others, I try to figure out others, and it can never be done. I am one of those who always reaches out, tries hard to be a friend, and when I do I give my all to whatever I am doing. Its those times when I reach out to others, and they are not reaching back is what really hurts, its what I cannot figure out. This isn't just in friendships, but also in family, it can be anyone in your life. Do you ever feel that way? When I am reaching out to someone if I have offended them in some way, if they do not want to be part of my life, or a friend, I would rather them just be honest and say so, than say nothing at all. Its that nothing at all that is wrong, its that no response that hurts. In Proverbs 27:6 it says this; "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." I want my relationships with others to be honest, I would rather them be honest with me than to act as if nothing is wrong, be nice to my face and walk away knowing they do not like me. If I have faltered in any way I want a friend or family member to be real with me. Many times we do not know we hurt another until we speak the truth. When you have tried so many times to connect with someone, you feel as though you should just walk away. But in my heart I cannot do that, its not who I am, I still try, I still reach, but I also know that no one can give me the joy and friendship that Jesus can. I don't have to worry about Him walking away from me, not reaching back, or not being a part of all I do, He is there, He loves me and He is my best friend. Just as we try to figure out why people do the things they do, those answers at times never come for we can never understand someone else's actions, for we do not know their childhood, which affects us in our adult lives, and we do not know the circumstances of their everyday life unless they are open and share those things with us. For my husband its easy, he can reach out to someone, share love with them, and if they choose not to reach back, he is okay with that. I don't think I have made it to that point yet. In being a mercy, you love others with your whole heart, you wanna give all you have, you feel their pain, you feel their hurt and you want to make it better. Everyone is not a mercy, so if you are not then you most likely do not understand where I am coming from. I have a longtime friend who is not a mercy at all, but she is prophet, she sees things pretty well black and white. If I am down, she kicks me in my behind and tells me to keep moving, but when hurt began to come her way, she too then knew exactly how I felt, it was at that moment she realized the pain I too was feeling, and I believe she is more of mercy than she thinks, for she is always there for others, she reaches out and loves, never giving up. There are those days we are filled with laughter, those days that bring a smile, and we have those to where you just don't understand what is happening. I have grown so much, and I have met so many wonderful women who are showing me the way, but I think I still have a way to go, praise Jesus He isn't finished with me yet. Just when you think you have it all figured out, here comes a curve ball out of left field. Even though I don't understand all, and never will there is a God who does, who sees, and who is always there, never giving up, always having hope. He knows my past, my present and my future, and really that is all I need to trust in, trusting in Him and leaving all the details for Him is much better than living trying to figure it all out. In Isaiah 55:8-9 says; "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." We are not meant to know all, to see all, and to understand all, only our Heavenly Father can do that. So as I grow as His child, He is forever teaching me just how small I am and how big He is. I can't fix everything, everyone is not going to be my friend, and everyone is just not going to like me. That is lesson I think that takes a lifetime to really fathom. For we all want to be loved, we all want to be accepted, but many times it just doesn't happen with people, but it does happen with the Lord.


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