from the girl I was to the woman I am now..

As a child I loved the outdoors, I loved playing outside, I loved my family and life was pretty great as a kid. When I became a teenager life seemed to spiral downward. My father was dieing, and there was no way I wanted to believe that could happen, so I denied what was facing my dad, and my family. I pretended nothing was wrong, and was placing all in my life as things to keep me busy and my mind off what I knew deep down inside what was happening, but as I did this these things became obtstacles, and I was on a course that I couldnt find my way out of. My teenage years were the worst for me. Its a time when you are finding yourself, but I felt like I was losing myself and all that was important to me. I was not a christian at this time, so I placed so many things in my life to for what I thought was going to bring me happiness only brought my parents shame. Life is just hard at times, and when we are young, we make wrong choices, and the mistakes seem like they are never ending. Today Christ is in my life, He is the center of my being, the one I look to daily, and now as I know Christ as my Savior, I can see He was in my life when I didn't even know. He was there protecting me, watching over me, and leading me to where He wanted me to be to accept Him into my life. Today I have a sweet walk with Him. I can praise Him for all He has done, and is doing in my life. We tend to carry our hurts with us without even realizing it until we are flat on our faces and need help getting up. The hurts we carry hurt others in our lives, for while we are carrying, we are sharing them in our daily life as we go from place to place and person to person. It is when we finally realize what we are carrying and allow God to take all the hurt and the burdens is when He really brings us life. Its like a butterfly with wet wings and they cannot quite get up to fly, but when their wings dry, they are free, they are light and they can feel the breeze under them and they can take flight. Today in my life I have learned nothing is ever as bad as it seems and nothing is ever quiet as good as it seems. We have to learn to balance ourselves. Knowing Christ is always with us, leading us, loving us, and guiding us, but as He is lifting us up, satan is there trying with all his might to distract us, to trip us up and make us think the worse of a situation or the best of one that is bringing us temparary happiness. I have to face each day as they come, not worrying about tomorrow, but just embracing today, each moment, and learning God teaches me in many different ways. My life as been full of blessings, and many trials. God has showed me, He has placed His spirit in me to have joy in all situations in my life. At times a minute feels so long, but others it feels as though it passes way too soon. Christianity is a process, it is a daily walk, a life that we fill with Christ in all. We learn from each mistake, we grow from each pain, and we learn to laugh at ourselves. We learn to trust Christ with all we have. We open our hands to Him, giving Him our husband, our children, our friends, our finances, our illnesses, all that touches our lives we open our hands and give all to God, allowing His will to be done in our lives. We learn to walk not just thinking of ourselves and our wants, but we open our hearts to all He has for us, and His will in our lives. We may not be able to understand all, but we can trust in a God who knows all, and wants the best for His children. Sometimes we have to take walks in life that are not so fun, they hurt and they are painful, but with each tear, with each prayer, with each one we give to God, we learn, we understand grace, and mercy. We begin to forgive, and want to love all those around us. We will not be perfect until heaven, and until then we are learning and growing into the person God has made us to be. Wherever you are today, whatever you are going through, God is there, He is stong, and He is courage, and He is a mighty love like no other. My life as done a 360, I am not the girl I once was, I am becoming the woman God wants me to be each day. Although I stumble daily, I will not give up, for I know God created in me something special, and I love Him so, I want it to shine through. Life is a gift, it may not be wrapped pretty at times, the bow may not be on, but there are those days where we look at the gift and all we can say is wow. God is good, God is great, and He can change our lives, the choice is ours. I pray today is a day you will meet Him, because He will meet you where you are, and bring such joy you have never known before. All we have to do is call out His name, for we are His, and He always answers....