Have you ever walked into a room and forgot why you went in there? You know when your doing laundry and you have one sock and cannot seem to find the match? Your trying to find the right shoes to wear with your new outfit, and just cant find your size in the pair you want? Your in a crowd of people and your child lets go of your hand. You turn around and they aren't there?
Have you ever felt any of these feelings as I have? My heart feels so misplaced right now. When your missing someone so much and you want and need them in your life you feel out of sorts, as if you are missing a piece of yourself. Like a puzzle your putting together and you can't find that last piece. A card game you want to play and you have lost two cards. I am that deck of cards that has lost two. I need them back to make the deck whole again. Things happen in our lives that we don't expect. Things that we are not ready for. Choices are made. Decisions are set. Our heart is hurting. We are left wondering where God is in all this mess. You want to fix it and have peace now, but just how to you fix something that is out of your control?
Just like when your on vacation. Everything is going wonderful and then you wake up and realize your not in your own bed. Your ready for the comfort of home. When you miss someone so badly it hurts, how can you heal that hurt? That empty spot in your heart that so needs to be filled again?
Do you ever wish you could just go back in time and know whats coming? Can you really prepare for pain? We seem to think a do-over would work, but would it really if we can't control how others move and think? I think that's it, when we are out of control, we simply see it as a disaster. But God sees so much more. He sees an opportunity for greatness. He sees a plan before us that He hopes we will seek and follow.
Every time I see a mother and her daughter, I seem to feel lonely for mine. Some people say time heals all wounds. I'm not so sure that is true. For me, time makes me miss them that much more. As I walk down the hall I see their room empty. I don't hear their laughter coming from their room. The table has two empty spots. Nothing is the same. For sure, not me.
Many people give you advice, and its wonderful advice, but no one knows what you are going through unless they have been there, and walked in your shoes. I think at times you just want to hear someone remind you, "It's going to be okay."
Many people give you advice, and its wonderful advice, but no one knows what you are going through unless they have been there, and walked in your shoes. I think at times you just want to hear someone remind you, "It's going to be okay."
I have those days where I lay it all down at Christ's feet, and give Him control. But then I seem to pick it right back up again and hang on to the pain. Maybe because that is all I have let to hang on to. I have those days where I just wish I could find that sock and remember why I walked into that room. I have learned to pray and pray and pray. God gives me those moments of joy and I can laugh. But there like an ache in your heart that still burns.
Many people have these great big families and are so close. They have huge dinners all the time and gathering here or there. At times I wonder if they take that for granted or if they really know how blessed they are. That was my family so long ago, and I long to have it back again. Families are a precious gift from the Lord. Take each moment and relish in it. Make room for laughter and mistakes. Don't take one moment for granted and share each day with a smile and an I love you. Give grace and mercy to one another and have forgiveness at every corner. I believe and know God will bring my family back together under His fold, I just long for the day to come.
"O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me."
Psalm 91:9-11
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;"
Psalm 34:19
"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and 6 my God."
Psalm 42:5-6
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
"The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;"
Lamentations 3:25
Friends, I first wrote this post, May 31, 2009. My family was going through the struggle of a lifetime. I wasn't sure if I would ever feel peace again. All was out of sorts. But during these years since I penned this post, God was at work. He wasn't only at work in my family, but in me. He used that time to grow me. He showed me just how real He is and how ever present He is in my life. He is our Restorer. He is our Redeemer.
I love going back and seeing posts throughout the years where I thought the storm was going to last forever. The pain was so deep and the well too deep for me to dig my way out. I felt lost and misplaced just like a sock with no match. A mother's heart cannot be at peace when trouble is mounting with her children.
Friends, you can find peace. You can reach solace. We can't control every circumstance. We cannot change others. We have to understand that God is at work. He hasn't left us. One thing I have learned is the fact that there is no perfect.
If you feel misplaced today, continue reaching for God. Know that morning will come and you will be able to look back with a new gratitude and a new understanding in God's hope. We can be empowered in Christ. Rely upon His promises. They are unchanging and fill us with hope for a tomorrow we not yet see.
