When I was 21 I had my first baby girl. She was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. First, being pregnant was just so much fun, learning and growing with her. I remember when the doctor first told me I was going to be a mommy. I ran out that day and bought maturnity tops... Ofcourse no one could tell I was pregnant, but I wanted everyone to know. I would sing to her and read to her while she moved about. Once she was here, I was overjoyed with so much love. She was so tiny, her clothes wouldn't even fit. I remember her first birthday, she shares the same day with her uncle, and Greatgrandfather. We had quite a celebration. Her first steps, never realizing those first steps were really teaching her to be on her own, and to one day take those steps away from home. She grew so very fast, time does go by fast, just like people try to say, take your time and enjoy them while they are young,they will grow fast. No one ever really thinks that, but its true. She loved school, loved learning, and oh,did she have an imagination. She loved the outdoors, lizards, frogs, and snakes! She just loved all animals. You could see her outside with her blond hair just bouncing, trying to catch butterflies. We would snuggle up close at night and read books for hours, we would pray together, and once she was asleep,she never knew my hand upon her back saying my own prayers over her, for God to protect her,to lead and guide her, and always keep her safe. I prayed each night over her. A mommas love is so deep and strong. The teenage years are the hardest and toughest, both for our children and for the parent. Its through those years that things started to change. My little girl was now becoming a beautiful young woman. Its hard to let go, and let them spread their wings, what if they fall, or what if ....... Those became my questions and I held on too tight. Instead of trusting God, I trusted myself. I made many mistakes I wish I could take back, but you can not go back, only forward with the knowledge that you have learned. For many years I lost my little girl, I missed out on many things because I had to prove I was right. Our children are so precious and time slips by so fast, I wish I could have those years back, to make up for what I had lost. it was not only I that had lost, but her also, she was hurt very deeply, and needed her momma there too. The Lord can heal all, with His love, and grace, he forgives, and I forgive, I pray she too will forgive and embrace me once again.........
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
My first child.......
When I was 21 I had my first baby girl. She was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. First, being pregnant was just so much fun, learning and growing with her. I remember when the doctor first told me I was going to be a mommy. I ran out that day and bought maturnity tops... Ofcourse no one could tell I was pregnant, but I wanted everyone to know. I would sing to her and read to her while she moved about. Once she was here, I was overjoyed with so much love. She was so tiny, her clothes wouldn't even fit. I remember her first birthday, she shares the same day with her uncle, and Greatgrandfather. We had quite a celebration. Her first steps, never realizing those first steps were really teaching her to be on her own, and to one day take those steps away from home. She grew so very fast, time does go by fast, just like people try to say, take your time and enjoy them while they are young,they will grow fast. No one ever really thinks that, but its true. She loved school, loved learning, and oh,did she have an imagination. She loved the outdoors, lizards, frogs, and snakes! She just loved all animals. You could see her outside with her blond hair just bouncing, trying to catch butterflies. We would snuggle up close at night and read books for hours, we would pray together, and once she was asleep,she never knew my hand upon her back saying my own prayers over her, for God to protect her,to lead and guide her, and always keep her safe. I prayed each night over her. A mommas love is so deep and strong. The teenage years are the hardest and toughest, both for our children and for the parent. Its through those years that things started to change. My little girl was now becoming a beautiful young woman. Its hard to let go, and let them spread their wings, what if they fall, or what if ....... Those became my questions and I held on too tight. Instead of trusting God, I trusted myself. I made many mistakes I wish I could take back, but you can not go back, only forward with the knowledge that you have learned. For many years I lost my little girl, I missed out on many things because I had to prove I was right. Our children are so precious and time slips by so fast, I wish I could have those years back, to make up for what I had lost. it was not only I that had lost, but her also, she was hurt very deeply, and needed her momma there too. The Lord can heal all, with His love, and grace, he forgives, and I forgive, I pray she too will forgive and embrace me once again.........
